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Yom Kippur Is Over…Now What?

September 16, 2013 by Patrick Beaulier

Now-What

I hate Yom Kippur. Not for the fasting (it’s not fun, but it’s not that hard either), and not for the confession of sins. I can even handle the theological gymnastics of “who shall live and who shall die”.

What I don’t like about Yom Kippur is the aftermath.

We make our Jew Years Resolutions. We tap our hearts. We feel bad about who we are and what we have done. And then we go back to being the same people we were before. Frankly, not much changes between the remorseful Neila and screaming at your kids because you just want a bagel and the oneg line is a million miles long and you said you were going to go Paleo anyway.

Yom Kippur gives us the tools to feel sorry, but it doesn’t give us the tools to do anything with our newfound outlook on life.

So here’s my thoughts on how to correct this.

Don’t Make Resolutions

You can’t live up to them. It’s scientifically impossible. 88% of these kinds of oaths to God fail.

Instead, make habits.

If you want to be a better husband, don’t decide that you are going to cut your hours back at work and run the carpool for your kids school and start cooking dinner every night.

An easier and more practical idea is lighting Shabbat candles. It takes two minutes. But if you can get in the habit of lighting candles with your wife once a week, then you can slowly build up to whatever you want.

Ask For Help

The hardest phrase in the English language is “can you help me?” We’re socialized into believing that help is for losers and people who can’t get their act together.

Instead of trying to be a little island, form a Helping Club, or what some people call a Time Bank.

The idea is pretty simple: you set up an organized group of people who help each other, based on each other’s skill sets. Have a friend that’s a doctor? See if she will see patients for 10-15 minutes in return for having your cousin look at her car. Someone needs their child’s bedroom painted? Trade painting time for a few hours of GRE tutoring…or whatever you need.

Sure, in theory you help your friends and family when they need you, but you can always flake out at any time. There’s no social responsibility in that way of assisting others. In a formal system like a Time Bank, you’re locked into helping. But the reward of never feeling bad about saying “I need help” outweighs any reservations you might have about losing more of your time.

Do Something Different Every Day

Routines are terrible to break. But if you can break one routine, you can break another.

So for example, if you have a resolution to go to the gym every day (which you shouldn’t have, but whatever), first try changing the order in which you get ready in the morning. Instead of brushing your teeth, then showering, then eating breakfast, try eating breakfast, then brushing your teeth, then showering. Sure, it’s silly — but it empowers you to make other kinds of changes without feeling like your whole world is going to collapse.

What are you going to do in the new Jewish year? What’s something different you would like to try? Let us know!

Rabbi Patrick is the director of PunkTorah. His poorly planned goal of going zero-carb is the inspiration for this article. 

Filed Under: Community Member Blogs, Yom Kippur Tagged With: convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, darshan yeshiva, jewish new year, new years resolutions, online conversion, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, Yom Kippur

How To Fast On Yom Kippur

September 11, 2013 by newkosher

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If you’re a foodie, Yom Kippur is the worst day of the year. But here are some tips that will make it easier.

Drink A Lot of Water

A few days before Yom Kippur, try to eliminate caffeine, alcohol, sugary drinks and other non-water beverages from your diet. All those chemicals that keep you going induce cravings, something you definitely don’t need to be dealing with on the holiday.

Don’t Stuff Yourself

People stuff themselves before the Yom then fast the next day. Not good! That’s like binge eating. Eat a normal meal like you would any other night. Some websites say to eat carbs like pasta and rice. I’m not sure if it matters so much, one way or the other. Just remember that it’s one day without food, not a decade.

Prepare Break Fast Food In Advance

There’s nothing worse than feeling starved and cooking! Make deli and casserole style food in advance so that when the fast is over, you can curl up on the couch and nom nom nom like a normal person.

Hope you have a meaningful fast!

Filed Under: NewKosher (Recipes) Tagged With: convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, darshan yeshiva, fasting, fasting tips, how to fast, how to fast on yom kippur, online conversion, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, Yom Kippur

A Rosh Hashanah Appeal From Patrick Aleph of PunkTorah

September 14, 2012 by Patrick Beaulier

 

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Thank you for your generous support. Have a wonderful, sweet Jewish new year. L’Shana Tovah!

Filed Under: Community Member Blogs Tagged With: convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, darshan yeshiva, donate, Jewish, Judaism, online conversion, online jewish, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, rosh hashanah, Yom Kippur

The Whale, Starvation and a Dead Prophet (VZot-HaBerachah/Jonah/Yom Kippur)

October 3, 2011 by Patrick Beaulier

It’s hard to believe that we are at the end of the Torah. Holidays are all about looking back, so here’s a flashback to where we have been around this time in years past. A lot has changed, but the truth has remained the same: there is a God, and you matter!

Love, PunkTorah.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiWYT8oSAiE

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQ1OM10mhL8

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pQsQfIwuok

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIw175kn494

Filed Under: Jewish Text (Torah/Haftarah/Talmud), Podcasts & Videos, Shabbat & Holidays Tagged With: convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, darshan yeshiva, jonah, online conversion, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, VZot-HaBerachah, Yom Kippur, yonah

Tweeting My Sins For 5771 (Vidui)

October 2, 2011 by Patrick Beaulier

Every year before Yom Kippur, I write my sins into a blog post as a sort of web-based vidui. I hope everyone will join me by posting their own sins here, on our Facebook and on Twitter with the hashtags #vidui and #yomkippur.

Here’s last year. And now, this year…

Losing My Temper

I get angry and I turn into such a whiney you-know-what. I tend to let the little things get to me. #Vidui

Two Hamburgers at the Airport

Flying frustrates me. Bumped from a flight to Chicago = Checkers Big Burford. Flight from ATL delayed = double burger from Wendys. #Vidui

Working on Shabbat

Spent one Saturday begging promoters to put me on a band’s national tour…later found out the tour did not exist. #Violate #Shabbat #Vidui

Forgetting to Lay Tefillin and Daven Daily

My addiction to social media is out of hand and prevents me from connecting to God the way I am supposed to. #vidui

Lashon Hara

At least once a week, I complain to our intern or a friend about some Jewish figure who is driving me insane. #vidui

I think the least of people when it turns out I should think the most. I assume the worst when I should hope for the best. #vidui

That doesn’t conclude my list, but it’s the best I can do for now. As is custom for Yom Kippur, I apologize to anyone that has been hurt by my words and/or actions.

So what are your #Sins? Confess on #Yom #Kippur

Filed Under: Community Member Blogs, Shabbat & Holidays Tagged With: convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, darshan yeshiva, judaism confession of sins, online conversion, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, public sins, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, sin, vidui, Yom Kippur

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