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Starting To Stop (EdibleTorah)

January 18, 2011 by Patrick Beaulier

When you are driving along and come to a red light, when do you start to apply the brakes? In other words, when do you start to stop.

We all know that going through a red light is not only illegal, it’s dangerous.But you can’t just zoom up to a red light at full speed and then slam the brakes. There are other variables to consider: whether there are cars ahead of you or people in the cross walk; how fast you are going; whether the road is dry or icy; etc. All of that (and more) will affect when you begin to apply the brakes.

I’m finding that observing mitzvot (commandments) is very similar.

Of course, people argue that the mitzvot are arbitrary, optional aspects of our life. That they are something we do for our own personal satisfaction. They may very well be right.

But even in that case, nothing changes about this discussion. If you aren’t going to stop at the red light, then don’t. Barrel right on through. There are even cases where people who would normally stop at a light will argue it’s not necessary:  At 2am in a one-horse town, when you know there is nobody else around, you may decide that the red light is nothing but a social expectation and that sitting there waiting for an electronic timer to click is a foolish and sycophantic adherence to the letter of the law without recognition of the spirit and intent.

BUT… regardless of your view of obligatory nature of the commandments, IF you are going to observe them, you still must consider how you are going to do so. You are going to have to decide when you are going to slow down so that you don’t cross “that line” – the identified demarkation between observing the mitzvah and breaking it.

Some drivers really do race right to the very edge of the curb (or the bumper ahead of them) and then hit the brakes, while others ride the break from a half mile back. Still, everyone’s intention is the same: Don’t run into the cross walk.

The commandments expressed in Torah for keeping kosher state:

  • don’t eat blood
  • eat only certain animals
  • don’t boil a kid (goat) in the milk of its mother

Period. No mention of 2 sets of dishes. No injunction against cheeseburgers. No statement that you have to double-foil-wrap your potato in an unkosher oven.

So why do we do it?

The red light(s) above are very clear. What isn’t clear is what we need to do to avoid crossing that line. Some people are comfortable running right to the edge – no blood, no bacon wrapped shrimp, no goat chops in goat-milk-cream sauce. Everything else is fair game. Other people feel the need for two dishwashers, to carefully check produce for bugs, to learn as much as they can about how and where their food is produced.

Neither approach, in my opinion, is necessarily bad. Like driving, everyone has their style.

Of course, this analogy can only go so far on a single tank of metaphorical gas. Traffic laws are enforced by humans, and ultimately affect others in a very direct way. Kashrut is not “enforced” by anyone – you don’t get a treif ticket if you chow down on a shrimp eggroll. Nor is there any impact on the people around us for our own dietary observances, or lack thereof. Traffic laws are meant to be more logical than not. Kashrut, as I have mentioned before, is understood to be inherently non-logical (which is not to say it’s illogical, only that human logic can’t be brought to bear to understand why we ought to keep kosher. This is one of God’s “do it ’cause I said so” rules).

But in answer to the person who looks at another’s kashrut observance and thinks “why would they need to take it that far?!”, my answer is

“Because that’s where they are comfortable starting to stop.”

This article comes from EdibleTorah @ NewKosher.org and was originally posted here.

Filed Under: Rants Tagged With: convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, darshan yeshiva, edibletorah, meat and milk, online conversion, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, slaughter, Starting To Stop (EdibleTorah), treif

Cooking Like It’s Treif

May 20, 2010 by newkosher

Based on an article written by Patrick Aleph for MyJewishLearning.org

For many people, cooking kosher means dusting off their grandmother’s cookbook, scouring through family recipe cards from the 1960s, and stealing ideas from the Temple Sisterhood. This may feel “retro-cool” for a minute, but when the Food Network, Anthony Bourdain, and Martha Stewart are pushing ham-and-milk-sauce to go with your shrimp-and-a-side-of-bacon, it can be enough to drive a foodie to the dark side of treif, or toward settling for a life of mediocre falafel.

However, enterprising amateur (and professional) kosher chefs need not despair. Here are some tricks for how to deconstruct treif recipes, and turn forbidden meals into something deliciously Jewish.
The Art of Substitution

In the event that a recipe calls for a non-kosher ingredient, the easiest thing to do is to look up its chemical substitution online. The best example is gelatin, which generally comes from the connective tissues of non-kosher animals. It is a key thickening agent in sauces and baking, as well as a glaze for traditional French desserts like fruit tarts.
There are certain kinds of vegetable gums used in commercial food manufacturing and processing–guar gum, agar, and gum acacia–that can be used instead of gelatin. All of these are kosher and can be purchased online or at larger health food and Asian grocery stores. Agar, in particular, is a great substitute because one teaspoon of agar can replace one teaspoon of gelatin.
Flavor Profiling

When chefs create new recipes, they consider the flavor profile that they wish to achieve. The idea of a flavor profile is that what makes a dish taste good is more than just the sum of its ingredients–it is a delicate balance of separate tastes, odors, and other impressions, such as silkiness in the mouth, aftertaste, heat, and spiciness.

When you come across a non-kosher recipe that intrigues you, consider how you can modify it with fresh herbs, spices, and non-traditional ingredients–and still stay true to its flavor profile. Expand your repertoire by visiting international grocery stores, spice markets, and farmers’ markets, where you can find a wide variety of culinary tools not readily available at the local supermarket.

For example, look out for high quality risotto, which is dairy-free but has a milky, cheesy quality. Another great piece of food magic is the variety of non-dairy “milks” available. You’ve probably heard of soy milk, but what about almond milk? This tastier version of non-dairy creamer is perfect for gravy or mashed potatoes.
The Treif Challenge

It might seem impossible to modify this recipe for Filet Mignon Wrapped in Applewood Smoked Bacon. Here is the recipe, first in non-kosher form, then deconstructed and re-imagined by flavor profiling, and thinking outside the treif box.

Filet Mignon Wrapped in Applewood Smoked Bacon
Serves 4.

2 Tablespoons butter
1 teaspoon parsley flakes
1 teaspoon minced onion
4 filet mignon steaks
4 slices applewood smoked bacon

Coat the steak with butter, parsley, and minced onion. Wrap steak with bacon, using a tooth pick as a skewer. Grill until rare or medium rare.
The Kosher Solution

This recipe is obviously treif; it contains bacon as well as meat mixed with dairy. Filet mignon is also a suspect cut. Since it is dangerously close to the sciatic nerve, it is nearly impossible to butcher according to Jewish law, and therefore extremely expensive and hard to find when it is kosher.

The flavor profile of this dish is mouth-watering: firmness of beef, juiciness of blood, glossiness of butter and pig fat, woodiness and crunch of bacon, sweet and peppery flavor, slightly tart herb taste of onion and parsley.

With that flavor profile in mind, the kosher chef creates the following:
Rib Eye with Chimichurri Sauce Wrapped in Turkey Bacon

Serves 4.

4 Tablespoons chimichurri sauce
4 rib eye steaks with plenty of fat left on the cut
4 slices turkey bacon
1 Tablespoon cracked pepper

Chimichurri is a Dominican green sauce made of herbs and oil, and used for marinating. Its woody taste mimics the applewood bacon. Not only does this sauce have a luscious herbal flavor (a better substitute for the boring parsley/onion combination), it also contains vegetable or olive oil, which replaces the glossiness of butter.

Rib eye is, for the money, the best gourmet kosher beef cut. It has excellent marbling (fat to lean ratio, where there is just enough fat to create juiciness), and this means that the butter and the pig fat from the bacon will not be missed.

Finally, turkey bacon has the same crunchy texture and visual appeal of applewood bacon. In general, turkey, especially smoked, is an amazing pork substitute. It can also be honey baked to have the same taste and texture as ham.

Just like with the treif recipe, rub the steak in the marinade, wrap in the “bacon,” insert toothpick, and grill. No one will be the wiser.

Having Fun With Limitation

What drives many people away from kosher cuisine is the idea of “giving up” the foods they want. No more cheese on the cheeseburger. No more baked potatoes loaded with bacon.

But in the past, Jews in every country in the Diaspora found ways to create kosher versions of their neighbors’ food. Italian Jews took duck and smoked it to create duck prosciutto, the kosher cousin to the famous Italian salted ham. Jews in India replaced butter and yogurt with coconut milk and oil to make kosher meat curries.

Today, the secret is to have fun and think about how your creative substitutions make you part of a rich Jewish culinary history.

Filed Under: NewKosher (Recipes) Tagged With: convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, cooking, darshan yeshiva, meat, online conversion, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, treif

Traif: Williamsburg Restaurant Devoted to Pork and Shellfish

April 16, 2010 by Patrick Beaulier

Originally Posted at FrumSatire

Traif is a new restaurant that says it is going to celebrate pork and shellfish and I find it really funny, some of you may find it sad that a Jewish guy is opening up a restaurant devoted to his favorite foods which happen to be the farthest from kosher you can possibly get, but I just find it hilarious and anyone who eats vegetarian out can’t go there and try some of that left wing modern orthodox funny stuff because everything is Traif @ Traif.

Thanks to the first commenter I decided to add what I would do if I were to open a mamish Traif restaurant.

Heshy Fried has decided to open the worlds first all Traif Restaurant:

Featuring favorites such as non-bodek lettuce, unchecked strawberries in a non-mevushel vinaigrette.

We even have cholov yisroel hard cheese made from rennet.

Be sure to check out the weekly mothers milk specials – including kid goat cooked in mothers milk and roast brisket of beef cooked like bubbe used to make it with the added flavor of cholov yisroel milk.

We have pas yisroel and yoshon flour, don’t worry someone took challah but it was baked on shabbos by Jews.

Our Salad bar features many choices of unchecked leafy greens that are sure to add crunch with all those invisible bugs that we didn’t wash off.

Our water is unfiltered even though we are located in Brooklyn where the infestation happened.

Those blood spots in your omelet add a real flavor.

We bet you never had glatt kosher pork before, all the mooms and chalev has been removed.

Chassidishe shechita filet minion.

A full desert menu featuring triangle-K favorites such as little debbie cakes, wonder bread french toast and motts applesauce.

All of our wine is non-mevushal and we make sure to have idol worshipers open the bottles and look at the wine before it’s served.

A mashgiach temidi is on hand to make sure our products are as traif as possible – he is a certified apikorus, kofer and one of the last remaining believers of Shabetai Tzvi.

Filed Under: Random (Feelin' Lucky?) Tagged With: convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, darshan yeshiva, food, Jewish, Jews, Judaism, kosher, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, Punk, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, Religion, restaurant, Torah, traif, treif

Pork-nography: A Diatribe on Kashrut

February 21, 2010 by Patrick Beaulier

(Originally posted here)

Recently Tablet Magazine ran an article titled “High on the Hog“, where it looked at the phenomenon of cuisine which purposely mixes not just meat and milk, but treif (forbidden foods) with foods considered to be part of the Jewish culinary spectrum (matzo balls, bagels, etc). Several of the speakers talk about cuisine a flexible medium, and a reflection of the cosmopolitan world we live in. They talk about shattering barriers, challenging assumptions.

Besides, many say, who can resist the persistent pull of the pig? Food, they tell us, is better with bacon.

Hogwash.

I find myself siding with Rabbi and Chef Gil Marks (also quoted in the article), that pork does not stand shoulder to shoulder with the a good set of pots and pans in terms of importance in the kitchen. It’s not a necessary component.

In Texas, a smoked turkey leg serves the same role in dishes as bacon or a ham hock. And while it isn’t easy to find right now, beef bacon (beef smoked and treated in the same process as pork bacon) does exist.

Worried because fat = flavor? Turn to the past, honor your grandmother, and pick up a carton of shmaltz. Phil Romano, an accomplished local chef, reminded me that “instead of butter, you already have a great alternative in rendered chicken fat. But if that is not the way you would like to go, there is always a plethora of butter alternatives that can be used and a few of the better ones even act like butter when melted.”

But it’s more than all that. I’ve come to learn that bacon is almost a cop-out for cooks.

Recently, my friend Doug attended a cooking lecture which was supposed to present some innovative cooking techniques. The presenter began the first demonstration by tossing a stick of butter and a few pieces of bacon into the pan.

“I just walked out.” he said, “It was clear I wasn’t going to learn anything there. You can make ANYTHING taste good if you start with bacon and butter. Good food is more about technique and care than anything else.  If you can cook well, you can serve up a vegan dish and a non-vegan will enjoy it.”

(By the way, Doug’s site is testimony to that ideal. You should check it out.)

That leaves us with the issue of the people who submit to their porcine pecadillos, their attraction to sinful sausages, their… well, you get the idea.

That some people feel pork is irresistible, and that it’s very forbiden-ness in conjunction with Jewish cooking makes it that much more attractive, only points (in my opinion) to the growing phenomenon of “food porn” – food that titillates as much as (or more than) it satisfies.

“Suppose you came to a country where you could fill a theatre by simply bringing a covered plate on stage and then slowly lifting the cover so as to let everyone see, just before the lights went out, that it contained a pork chop or a piece of bacon. Would you not think that in that country something had gone wrong with their appetite for food?”
– C.S. Lewis

How close are we to the world that C.S. Lewis envisioned? How far have we strayed from the idea of food that nourishes and sustains us, toward one where it merely tantalizes but leaves us feeling empty, or worse, sullied?

At the end of any meal or snack, Jews are commanded to give thanks. Part of that blessing – the Birkat Hamazon – is the phrase: “Blessed is our God, whose food we have eaten, and through whose goodness we live.”

Speaking for myself, I try to make sure that when I say those words, they aren’t going to get stuck in my throat.

Filed Under: Judaism & Belief, Random (Feelin' Lucky?) Tagged With: convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, Counterculture, darshan yeshiva, food, Jewish, Jews, Judaism, kosher, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, pork, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, Religion, Torah, treif

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