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Haftarah Tazria – Metzora: Blighted Conditions

April 12, 2013 by Patrick Beaulier

haftarah

Haftarah Tazria – Metzora

This week has double haftorah portions. In Tazria, General Naaman of King Aram’s army becomes
afflicted with tzara’at. A captive Israelite maid advises him to seek out the prophet Elisha in Samaria.
King Aram sends word to the King of Israel that Aram is on his way to be treated—this is not a friendly
message, but almost a threat; as in “treat my general…or else.” Elisha instructs Naaman to immerse
himself in the River Jordan, and though the general is deeply distrusting of this whole situation, he
finally does so, and is indeed cured. Naaman, in his gratitude, promptly promises not to serve any deity
besides Elisha’s G-d.

Of interest here, Naaman doesn’t convert per se–though he commits to allegiance to monotheism,
he isn’t trying to become Jewish out of gratitude. But this is perfectly acceptable, because we’re
led to believe he is agreeing to ascribe to the Seven Noahide Laws—which is pretty much the basic
prerequisite for [Read more…]

Filed Under: Jewish Text (Torah/Haftarah/Talmud) Tagged With: convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, darshan yeshiva, haftarah, Haftarah Tazria - Metzora, metzora, online conversion, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, tazria, Tazria - Metzora

Parshah Tazria-Metzora: Man, That Itches!

April 8, 2013 by Patrick Beaulier

This is a family website, which means no fightin’, no cussin’, no drinkin’ and…well…you get the idea.

But sometimes the Torah doesn’t do us any favors in the censorship department. The Bible is filled with sex, violence, and in the case of Tazria-Metzora, a whole lotta bodily fluid.

url

And now my friends, the part about menstrual blood!

This is a great thing. When we sanitize the Bible, we leave out the facts of life that everyone needs to know. War is a real life issue. So is puberty. And guess what: itchy rashes are a part of life, too. When we make the Bible nothing but children’s stories and fairy tales instead of life lessons, then we diminish the value of our faith.

So this week’s readings are gross. Well, life is gross. Deal with it. And on a side note, if you do believe you suffer from tzaraat, a skin disease that comes from [Read more…]

Filed Under: Jewish Text (Torah/Haftarah/Talmud) Tagged With: convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, darshan yeshiva, leprosy, leprosy bible, online conversion, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, tazria, tazria metzorah, tzaraas, tzaraat

Parshat Tazria!

April 20, 2009 by Patrick Beaulier

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYqSCU8TVhQ

Filed Under: Jewish Text (Torah/Haftarah/Talmud), Podcasts & Videos Tagged With: bible, Counterculture, Jewish, Jews, Judaism, leprosy, Parsha, rebel, Religion, tazria, Torah, tzaraat

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