PunkTorah

Independent Jewish Spirituality Online

Free Mishnah Classes at Darshan Yeshiva

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Talmud_set

Talmud study is ridiculously intimidating. But not anymore.

Darshan Yeshiva is now offering a seven-part Intro to Mishnah class, a great way to get started in Talmud study. With seven podcasts and thirteen handouts, students will gain a sense of what the Mishnah is all about, thanks to the thoughtful approach by Lex Rofes, who provided the content for this class series.

Best part? The Mishnah class is part of Advanced Jewish Studies which is only $5/month and has a 14-day free trial. So yeah, you can basically take this class for free if you cancel before 14 days.

Sign up here and start learning some Mishnah.

Parsha Ki Tisa – What Is Our Idol?

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This week’s parsha of Ki Tisa is probably most known for the “Golden Calf”, the idol that the Israelites decided to worship when Moses did not show up when they expected him.  We may think it is ridiculous that the Israelites of that day thought an idol should be made out of gold, but how many modern individuals worship making money?  There is nothing inherently wrong with money unless an individual elevates it to the most important value in their life.  Do we have our own “Golden Calf” today?

I have worked in the financial services world for over thirty years and have seen the effects of money on people and families.  I have seen families torn apart by money issues and people commit terrible crimes just to obtain more of it.  The worship of money, and all of things one can buy with it, is very powerful in our society.  Money is good to have, but it needs to be balanced with all of our other values.  There are values that are more important.

It is unfortunate when any person places money above their family, their faith or their people.  If they do this, they are creating their own “Golden Calf.”

The Talmud says that when anyone reaches the World to Come, one of the first questions they will be asked is whether or not they conducted your business affairs (money) in a “fair manner.”  It is not important whether one became rich or not, but how they used the money.  Keeping money in perspective, but not an idol one is constantly trying to get more of, will lead to a more balanced life.  There are wonderful opportunities for everyone to obtain the money they need to create a good life in our country.  What we should not think, however, is that the pursuit of money alone is enough to fulfill that objective.

All the money in the world will not make you happy.  Happiness is not about material wealth – it truly comes from within yourself.  Invest money wisely, be responsible with it, respect it, but never think of it as the most important goal in your life.

Adar: Enter the Purim Shpiel

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Yes — it’s time for Purim!  Who doesn’t love Purim?  They tried to kill us, they failed, we kicked their @$$ to the 7th generation — LET’S PARTY!!!!

Over on my own site, I waxed poetic (and ritual) about the hamantaschen.  Over at , you can find some great hamantaschen recipe.  Here at PunkTorah — I want to talk Purim Shpiel.  Next to Passover, Purim is one of our most accessible and fun holidays and like Passover, it’s also serious.  The Purim Shpiel is the tradition of doing a humorous play that mocks our enemies.  Jews do love comedy, after all.

For years, I threw a killer Purim Shpiel at my house.  I just called it a Purim party — but it was all the same.  It’s amazing how awesome a party where everyone gets lit and acts out the bible while I read it can be.  It was also always a huge opportunity for learning. I always read the JPS translation — and all the way through.

When we hit the end one year, my sister started to yell that I was making up the part where we slaughter Haman’s extended family.  She didn’t remember that from Purim as a child.  A HUGE debate ensued about this and whether or not they actually read the whole Megillah at our childhood synagogue and how this changed our impression of the holiday.

But seriously — when can you read the bible to people without seeming creepy?  It’s awesome!

Here’s how I do it.  I have some props that are for each main character and either asked friends who wanted to be whom, or in the true spirit of Purim,  had them draw lots for parts. If people were unfamiliar with the characters, I would do a quick explanation.  Everyone who didn’t play a part, had groggers and other noise makers — plus they got to drink.

Then I just start reading, and my friends act out any interpretation of what I’m saying they like.  I can assure you, we had some fascinating interpretations going.  I remember a prissy, pissy french Haman.  One time it turned out the hidden story was that Haman was jealous of Vashti’s awesome gold/velvet stole.  And well, Esther bowing before the King’s “golden scepter” lead to a not so family friendly interpretation of how Esther saved her people….

This year — invite your friends over and read the bible to them.  Read the whole Megillah — word for word.  Drink — you are obligated by Jewish law to eat, drink and be merry.  Seriously — this is the only holiday where you are obligated to have fun.  Take the opportunity to see what you can learn from the reveling and topsy-turvy experience of Purim.

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Ketzirah is a Kohenet, Celebrant, and Artist.  She works with individuals and groups to explore, discover, and create meaningful rituals and ritual artwork to mark moments in life.

Y-Love Can’t Be G-d, But He Could Be An Angel

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httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYJznPlMJck

Talmud and Hip Hop with Shemspeed artist Y-Love. The G-d Project is the world’s first social media platform dedicated to Jewish spirituality. We bring God back to the conversation.

Forbidden Talmud: Voyeurism (NSFW)

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Forbidden Talmud showcases the NSFW (Not Safe For Work) Talmudic texts that they “forgot” to teach you in Yeshiva. This week, we learn how to be a voyeur.

It has been taught: R. Akiba said: Once I went in after R. Joshua to a privy, and I learned three things from him:

I learned that one does not sit east and west but north and south

I learned that one evacuates not standing but sitting

I learned that it is proper to wipe with the left hand and not with the right

Ben Azzai said to him: Did you dare to take such liberties with your master? 

He replied: It was a matter of Torah, and I required to learn. 

It has been taught: Ben ‘Azzai said: Once I went in after R. Akibato a privy, and I learned three things from him:

I learned that one does not evacuate east and west but north and south

I learned that one evacuates sitting and not standing

I learned it is proper to wipe with the left hand and not with the right. 

R. Judah said to him: Did you dare to take such liberties with your master? 

He replied: It was a matter of Torah, and I required to learn. 

R. Kahana once went in and hid under Rab’s bed. He heard him chatting [with his wife] and joking and doing what he required. 

He said to him: One would think that Abba’s mouth had never sipped the dish before! 

He (Rav) said to him: Kahana, are you here? Go out, because it is rude. 

He replied: It is a matter of Torah, and I require to learn. Talmud Berachot 62a

Why was this text not taught? Back in the day, in the schools I attended, there were faculty lounges and bathrooms. Whether we were supposed to think that teachers and rabbis didn’t urinate or whether it was considered somehow inappropriate for teachers and students to pass one another on the way in or out is not clear to me. What is clear, is that Talmudic era life looked oddly different. In the text above, not only do a teacher and student pass one another on the way in and out, a student actually observes his teacher relieving himself. The punch line: Don’t just listen to your teacher, watch your teacher. His/her behavior, even in the most personal situation, has something to teach you.

The story of Rav and Rabbi Kahana is even more noteworthy. We don’t want to imagine our teachers, rabbis, and certainly not parents, having sex. Yet, in our holy book, Kahana hides in Rav’s bedroom, observing Rav and his wife having sexual relations. While Rav scolds Kahana, it is Kahana that has the last word: It is Torah, too, and I have to learn it.

What is the lesson to be learned (Why should the text be taught?) The Talmud was not advocating voyeurism. It used these stories to illustrate a fact: The way in which we do everything in life carries a value. We can behave in ways that support the tzelem elohim, the divine spark, that lives within us all. Or we can act in ways that are destructive to ourselves, to others, to our world.

But in order to know what is positive and what is destructive, we have to understand all parts of human behavior and function. It is important that we provide students and our children with the straightforward knowledge of what behaviors and possibilities there are. And we must provide them with the tools that enable them to make holy decisions in their lives.

Arnie Samlan is a rabbi, Jewish educator, social worker and Scratch DJ Academy grad. A regional director of The Jewish Education Project in NY, he is also founder of a new venture, Jewish Connectivity, which works to link Jews and Jewish texts to one another to re-ignite Jewish life and creativity (Twitter: JewishConnectiv)

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