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Rabbis Are Like Auto Mechanics (Parshat Nitzavim Vayelech)

August 26, 2013 by Patrick Beaulier

Auto-Mechanic-School

PunkTorah is anti-authoritarian.

This is what the young rabbi said about us. Now, he was actually defending us. We had been criticized for being a secret Jews For Jesus conspiracy (which we aren’t) and this rabbi was trying to set the record straight. His critique of us was, “oh, well everything PunkTorah does is weird, or silly, and the leadership and volunteers have no idea what they are doing — but at least they aren’t Christians!”

I wasn’t sure whether to say thank you or not. With friends like these, who needs enemies?

The issue of “who knows best” is an all too common one. I would argue that Jews suffer from Rebbe-itis…we have yet to discover that the internet is the best tool for Jewish learning. We still look to the person who went to a brand name Jewish school to tell us how to be Jewish. This stems originally, I believe, from the Temple period. Modern Jews today are still looking for the Levite Priest to offer us a kosher sacrifice.

But this week’s portion goes against this logic entirely.

For this commandment which I command you this day, is not concealed from you, nor is it far away. It is not in heaven, that you should say, “Who will go up to heaven for us and fetch it for us, to tell [it] to us, so that we can fulfill it?” Nor is it beyond the sea, that you should say, “Who will cross to the other side of the sea for us and fetch it for us, to tell [it] to us, so that we can fulfill it?” Rather, [this] thing is very close to you; it is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can fulfill it. (Deut. 30:11-14)

Do we need rabbis? Yes. We need rabbis like we need auto mechanics.

When my car needs an oil change, I could probably do it myself. Is there a chance I could screw it up? Probably. So I take it to the mechanic. But in reality, I’m smart enough to do it. I could go to school, but all the tools I need, practice on cars and get all the training to fix anything I want. But I’m not going to. I’m just not fully engaged in doing all the work myself, and I’d rather focus on what I’m really good at instead of auto repair.

Besides, the mechanic isn’t the end all, be all, of my life. Perhaps there is something I can offer the mechanic in return (and as a side note, as a rabbi, I’d really love it if people would donate $1 every time they ask for advice. It really goes a long way to help our online community.)

Rabbi Patrick Aleph is the director of PunkTorah and OneShul. In his spare time, he enjoys not working on cars. The auto mechanic metaphor is brought to you by Rabbi Menachem Cohen, a kilt wearing badass rabbi in Chicago.

Filed Under: Jewish Text (Torah/Haftarah/Talmud) Tagged With: ask a rabbi, convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, darshan yeshiva, jewish auto mechanic, online conversion, parshat nitzavim, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, rabbinical school, rabbis, this week's torah portion

Neil deGrasse Tyson Made Me A Better Theologian

April 13, 2012 by Patrick Beaulier

I know, I know. Neil deGrasse Tyson is agnostic. But that doesn’t mean that man isn’t a believer at the same time.

My final assignment for rabbinical school is a thesis where I have to discuss my personal theological understanding of Judaism in the context of the Jewish future, and to use text to defend it. I must also include in the paper any kind of texts that contradict my theology and find ways to deal with those “difficult passages”. While I have a while before I get to this (one must crawl before running), I have to admit that I am terrified by writing this. There are some incredibly thorny passages in the Torah. How does a progressive Jew defend slaying Amelekites, stoning gay men, divorcing the spouses of interfaith marriages, and all the other troubling texts? It’s easy if you believe in an unquestionable Torah mi’Sinai that gives you the ultimate “out” of, “the Bible says it, I believe it, that settles it”. Problem is, if you’re the type to wrestle with text, no matter what you believe about the origin of our holy texts, you still have to figure out how to deal with all the fundamentalist sounding stuff that your modern sensibilities can’t stand.

Really good Jewish thinkers are willing to ask tough questions, to deviate from conventional thinking when things just don’t add up, and to willingly throw away any of their ideas that don’t hold up. I think the same must be true for scientists, which is why I often watch science programs on Netflix when I find myself unable to deal with religion. Surprisingly, Carl Sagan, Neil deGrasse Tyson and others don’t compel me away from the Divine, but rather, help me to more fully connect with the nature of the Universe, which I understand to be one of several projects that God has undertaken.

The video below really spells it out for me.

While Mr. Tyson and I probably disagree on the conclusion, what we can agree on is the spectacular nature of life: that we are made of all the same things that the universe is made up of, and that this is pretty cool. I know that “pretty cool” is an amateur, flippant way of describing the existence of reality, but you get my drift.

For me, this unity of all things is the seat of God. I find in the Shema the blessing of God’s oneness as a true-ism of all reality: that God is one, that the universe and everything in it is one, and that we are one with all of these elements at the same time. God, heaven, the past, present and future are all within us and at the same time, outside of us.

As a self-professed “serial monogamist”, I can speak with a certain level of authority that no relationship is perfect and that while we hope that everything we do is to the benefit of our partner, or is at least keeping them in mind, often times we just act on our own self-interest. In an interview, Tyson said that “every account of a higher power that I’ve seen described, of all religions that I’ve seen, include many statements with regard to the benevolence of that power. When I look at the universe and all the ways the universe wants to kill us, I find it hard to reconcile that with statements of beneficence.” 

When we look at the way a single change in the coming together of our universe could have completely prevented humanity from ever existing, it gives us an amazing pause to think: perhaps the world is made with love in mind. As Einstein said, “God doesn’t play dice with the world.” At the same time, I can see where Tyson is coming from. The world is amoral; children are born with genetic diseases that take their lives before they have the opportunity to live, earthquakes and other natural phenomena sweep people off to eternity regardless of how holy or evil they are, and by most trustworthy accounts, the Earth will be destroyed by the sun, no matter how much faith we put into God to prevent that from happening.

Perhaps though, we are trying to fit a square God into a round hole. Perhaps God is not benevolent or the destroyer: God just is. Just as our relationships with those we love are never simple, perhaps God, who I have always viewed as the ultimate in complicated, complex issues, cannot be made into a boiler plate one-liner.

Our faith tradition gives us two ways to take refuge under God’s shechinah in spite of the terrible amount of mental noise that the why-God-why type questions cause us. As I mentioned before, the Shema’s declaration of oneness of God is a no-brainer. God is one, and from Tyson we learn that everything in the universe is one. Oneness disguised as diversity and chaos seems to be God’s operating philosophy.

The second point comes from liturgy. When we pray the Amidah, we pray “blessed are you…God of Abraham, God of Isaac, God of Jacob”. Martin Buber in The Ten Rungs, a collection of Chasidic philosophy, explained that the reason we say “God of” before each name, is that God was revealed to each of these individuals, and to all of the prophets, in different ways and at different times. God is not a singular experience, but rather, an experience that each generation is tasked with in its own way. Perhaps science is just another of God’s prophecies.

From that place, I am able to sit with my non-theistic friends and know that when we talk about the stars in the sky, the birth of a child, or any other life affirming moment, the “ooh, ahh” noises we make reflect a shared experience of the transcendental.

Filed Under: Community Member Blogs Tagged With: atheists, convert to judaism, darshan yeshiva, jewish agnostic, jewish atheism, jewish atheist, jewish theology, Neil deGrasse Tyson, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, rabbinical school, science and god, science and judaism, science and religion, science and theology

Atlanta Jewish Times + Your Questions About Rabbinical School = PunkTorah Podcast

January 31, 2012 by Patrick Beaulier

In this week’s podcast, Patrick (with cohost Stefanie) respond to the outrage over the Atlanta Jewish Times article suggesting that Israel may want to assassinate President Obama. Patrick also answers your questions about rabbinical school!

Click here to listen to this week’s podcast.

 

Filed Under: Community Member Blogs, Podcasts & Videos Tagged With: andrew adler, atlanta jewish news, atlanta jewish times, obama assassination article, punktorah, punktorah podcast, rabbinical school

Rabbi Without A Cause – Rabbinical School Update From Patrick Aleph

January 13, 2012 by Patrick Beaulier

I’m thinking about calling this blog Rabbi Without A Cause instead of Tattooed Rabbi. You’ll see why in the video. In any case, this is where I am right now in my rabbinical school journey. Enjoy.

httpv://youtu.be/ByVqQa218AU

Filed Under: Community Member Blogs Tagged With: convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, darshan yeshiva, newkosher, online conversion, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, patrick aleph Rabbi Yeshiva, punktorah, rabbi, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, rabbinical school, rabbinical seminary international, yeshiva

The Tattooed Rabbi: Patrick Aleph Goes To Rabbi School

December 29, 2011 by Patrick Beaulier

That’s right. I’m going to rabbinical school. And I’m blogging all about it under the name “the tattooed rabbi”. Shock of the century, right?

It’s a decision I have gone back-and-forth on for several years. Soon, I will blog about why I made this decision, where I am going, the impact that I feel it will have on PunkTorah (none, but that’s a whole other story), and all the misadventures along the way.

Before I start shooting my mouth off with everything that is going on, here’s a fun video just to celebrate this new phase of things. Enjoy!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-s3aw0GZKY&list=UUfbQnMMvRssrokknT-gHEXA&index=1&feature=plcp

Filed Under: Community Member Blogs, Podcasts & Videos Tagged With: convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, darshan yeshiva, online conversion, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, rabbinical school, videos

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