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Flashback Friday: What’s the Right Cup Size for this Idol? Parsha Balak + Breasts

July 3, 2015 by Patrick Beaulier

bra square

Aside from occasionally stashing an iPod in my sports bra while working out, I’ve never found my boobs a particularly convenient cache for goods. Nor do I imagine anything larger than an iPod would make for swift and graceful recovery in a moment of passion. Which is why I laughed aloud at both the Talmud and Rashi when I read their explanations of the last chapter of this week’s parshah, Balak.

Chapter 25 of Bamidbar (Numbers) reads, “while Israel was staying with Shittim, the people profaned themselves by whoring with the Moabite women, who invited the people to the sacrifices for their god. The people partook of them and worshipped that god. Thus Israel attached itself to Baal-peor, and the Lord was incensed with Israel. The Lord said to Moses, ‘Take all the ringleaders and have them publicly impaled before the Lord, so that the Lord’s wrath may turn away from Israel.’ So Moses said to Israel’s officials, ‘Each of you slay those of his men who attached themselves to Baal-peor” (Numbers 25:1-5).

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Jewish Text (Torah/Haftarah/Talmud), LGBTQ & Women Tagged With: bra, convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, darshan yeshiva, jewish women, online conversion, parashat balak, Parsha Balak, parshah balak, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier

What Girl Talk’s Mashups and the Bible Have In Common (Parshah Balak)

June 18, 2013 by Patrick Beaulier

girltalksmall

In case you’re not the clubbing type, Girl Talk is an electro-mashup artist who’s quasi-illegal music takes samples from other people’s music and fuses it together with other samples, creating new and original art. An opening song from a Girl Talk set may include samples as far reaching as Black Sabbath, mixed with a hip hop dance beat and the horn blasts of a James Brown song.

Now, what do indie electro dance-rock composers have to do with Parshah Balak?

Well, it’s all about the Mashup.

Parshah Balak is really not so much about the character Balak, but about a prophet named Balaam. First sent to work his hoodoo evil spells on the Israelites, Balaam later is given a gift of prophecy by God and cannot speak evil.

Here’s where things get fun: in 1967, at Deir Alla, Jordan, archaeologists found an inscription with a story relating visions of the seer of the gods named Bala’am. This Bala’am is a little different than our Balaam, because of course, the Jordanian Balaam is not a prophet of YHVH, but he is connected with Ashtar.

The Biblical writers who read the Balaam story may have, like Girl Talk, done some creative sampling, remixing and rethinking the structure of art to make it an all together new experience.

The question is: which story are you going to dance to?

Parshah Balak: Not Just A Jew Thing (Circle Pit the Bimah)

Parshah Balak: Something In The Way (PunkTorah TV)

Filed Under: Jewish Text (Torah/Haftarah/Talmud), Judaism & Belief, Random (Feelin' Lucky?), Rants Tagged With: Balack, convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, darshan yeshiva, online conversion, Parsha Balak, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier

Parsha Balak: Not Just A Jew Thing (Num.22:2 – 25:9)

July 5, 2012 by Jeremiah

Worried that the Hebrew tribes are an unstoppable military force, Moab’s king Balak commissions the non-Jewish prophet Balaam to curse the Hebrews before they can turn their attention to Moab. Balaam then sets out on his donkey to do what he does best and that’s curse the enemies of Moab. While on his way to rain down curses Balaam’s donkey seeing an Angel of the L~rd refuses to continue. Incensed, Balaam begins to beat his ride when Hashem opens the mouth of the donkey who pleads to know why Balaam is blind towards the angel. Parsha Balak is such an important portion not only because it’s a crowd pleaser (like you never giggle when the “A” word is dropped in Shul) but because it reiterates that Hashem is not just a “Jew” thing: He is a “for everybody” thing.

Sometimes its easy to see the world as an Us versus Them place [Read more…]

Filed Under: Community Member Blogs Tagged With: balaam, Circle Pit The Bimah, convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, darshan yeshiva, hashem, jeremiah, numbers, online conversion, Parsha Balak, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier

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