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The Love of Dogs

November 30, 2010 by Patrick Beaulier

By Pamela Alexander

On my way to the cafe for OneShul services, I passed by a large black dog, old and obviously well-fed, walking aimlessly down the sidewalk of a busy four-lane road. I was frightened for him as he seemed oblivious to the proximate danger at the curb, and my heart broke with each meandering step he took. Where were his owners? Did they know he was missing? How could they allow him to get away?

Certainly this was not the dog’s first walk around the neighborhood, absent both his leash and a human companion; I’m sure he has found his way home alone on several occasions. As I drove away, I asked G-d to continue His protection of the old dog. I know that it was HaShem He who had saved this beautiful animal from being hit by a car, for to believe otherwise is to give credit to chance or luck. I prefer to give it to G-d.

Dogs love us unconditionally and ask for little in return; this is in sharp contrast to humans who are naturally self-serving. Take our lost dog: he protects his owners without hesitation and yet his owners endangered him! Of course, we humans have the capacity to love others in a selfless manner, but to do so requires the study of Torah, prayer, a commitment to put others’ needs ahead of our own and considerable practice.

What is in the canine brain or heart that makes them love us so deeply? Is it instinctual owing to an evolutionary imperative because pack animals stood a greater chance of survival than those that roamed alone? Whatever the case, a dog’s love allows us to be vulnerable: we can cry without shame or fear of rejection. In our human relationships, we are burdened with the ever-present knowledge that we must change, at least in some small way, to be fully accepted. Dogs accept us just as G-d made us. Imagine that!

We may believe that the love we give (and receive) is selfless and free from expectations, but how quickly that hope is dashed when life goes wrong. In that moment we have two choices: extend more grace and kindness to our spouse or friend, or because we are hurt or angry, fight for our “right” to be loved and understood at any cost (as if G-d ever promised us an easy life). How easy it is to love without strings when we are first so loved. How difficult when we are not.

Why are relationships so difficult, marriage near impossible at times? Have we grown tired, jaded or just older? Or, is it because human nature is essentially narcissistic? We are selfish and stubborn, critical and contrary, jealous and judgmental. We must be taught benevolence and empathy. We must learn to accept and forgive others. And we must practice, practice, practice. Opposable thumbs or not, we have to learn what comes naturally to dogs.

I believe, ironically perhaps, that learning to live unselfishly is the way to true happiness and fulfillment. It is the only way we can bring real meaning into our otherwise self-absorbed lives. But, even as we know how content we will be when we will have learned to love others unconditionally, we also know how difficult change can be. Best to take it slowly, day by day, for becoming better Jews does not happen overnight.

All this got me thinking: what can I learn from my dogs? They walk me to the door when I leave, and greet me when I return. Do I do that for my husband, or do I call out to him from across the house? The latter. Dogs read our moods; they know when we are glad, mad or sad. Still, they choose to be with us. Do I want to be in the same room with my husband if he is angry, or in a mood that will try my human patience or peace of mind? Not really. Dogs are exceedingly patient. Do I show my husband the same patience and respect as I do my Brittanies? Hmmm.

I have no doubt that G-d worked overtime designing and creating our dogs. Although I have been a dog-owner for many years, I am still amazed at their intelligence, compassion and loyalty. Their unconditional love makes us feel accepted. They have a unique ability to teach us how to be better humans. I just hope that I can become the kind of friend to my human friends, to my husband, as my dogs Jazzy and Otto are to me.

Filed Under: Random (Feelin' Lucky?), Rants Tagged With: convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, darshan yeshiva, how to raise a jewish dog, online conversion, pamela alexander, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, religion and pets, The Love of Dogs

Can a “Good Jew” Love the Sex Pistols?

August 2, 2010 by Patrick Beaulier

By Pamela Alexander

I was at the cafe rocking to the Sex Pistols when a friend came over to say hello. Bob is an evangelical Christian pastor who has never tried to debate the merits of our respective faiths, or tried to “win me to Jesus” (and thank G-d for small miracles!) His respect for our differences has allowed us to forge a friendship based on a mutual love for HaShem and a desire to follow His commandments. Baruch Hu.

When I told Bob I was listening to my favorite punk band, he roared with laughter. “Pamela! How can you listen to the Sex Pistols and be a religious Jew,” as if punk rock was anathema to faith. While he used different words, it echoed for me shades of “what makes a ‘good Jew,’ good?” I reminded Bob that I was not a fundamentalist, that my Judaism included teachings from the past and the present, and that as much as I challenge what Judaism has always been, I challenge with equal tenacity and enthusiasm what Judaism has become.

Well, that sounded intellectual enough. I can simultaneously delight in our oral tradition, without relegating myself to the 18th century. I can live in our post-modern world, recognizing the many things that must change without crashing head first into secularism. It’s a nice balance, right? I am always hearing about how we should strive for balance in all areas of our lives; it’s supposed to be a good thing. But, never mind the mental health experts. What does G-d desire of me? If my life is to bring about tikkun olam, is this the way I should go?

Can I be the Jew G-d wants me to be if I approach my faith, my Torah and Him, as if in Jewish deli, and is that what I’m doing?: picking and choosing what sounds good at the time, what is easy on my wallet, easy to eat in the car, and easy to digest? In other words, give me Orthodoxy as long as it’s always enjoyable, requires little sacrifice, is very convenient and will never give me heartburn?

When people of faith petition their institutions for change, whether it be Catholics who want Vatican approval for birth control, Presbyterians who challenge the ban on gay pastors (I cannot help but wonder what the members themselves think of the Presbyterian Church’s call for a world-wide boycott against everything Israel) and Jews who want Orthodox Rabbis to perform inter-marriage ceremonies, my gut reaction is always the same: you cannot ask a centuries-old religion to change its fundamental doctrine to suit your individual needs. But, what of Judaism?

I believe the Torah was inspired by G-d and while I believe that our Sages were also inspired through their deep prayer and study ~ and while their writings did become Jewish law, I have never viewed them as having the same voice as our prophets (even though the tale of the carob tree tells us that G-d responded that “the Torah is not in heaven!”) Maimonides was not Isaiah, Nachmanides was not Jeremiah, Akiva not Daniel. If this is indeed the case, why would we follow rabbinic law with the same fervor and commitment as we do biblical law?

What does this say of traditional Judaism, which is far more rabbinic in nature than it is biblical? And, what of today’s rabbis, perhaps even less “inspired” than our Sages (and I realize that this entire line of thinking is highly problematic). Currently, it is perhaps by five American Orthodox rabbis who issue poshkim, current Jewish law, that most of us will be most profoundly affected; that is, if we desire to follow halachah as set forth by them. Current poshkim address such as politically hot issues as assisted-suicide and stem cell research.

If I am going to pursue halachah, should I not first require myself to think, pray and make decisions on the relative importance I ascribe, for example, to biblical as opposed to rabbinic law, to the importance of tradition versus change? If I find that I do wish to balance what are ancient though not archaic laws, with current ideas, should I not first decide how I am to create that balance? To which view should I give deference?

As the Pistols go, their name is the most provocative thing about them. If I can share their lyrics with my parents without shame or embarrassment, it’s a pretty good sign that they are not a morally corrupting influence! The real issue is, if I had made a decision to become as observant as possible, and a poshka were issued prohibiting the listening to the Sex Pistols, would I throw out my records? Or, would I decide to follow my own heart, and my own beat, picking and choosing at the rock and roll delicatessen? Hmm.

Honestly? While part of me hopes I would pursue other types of music, I know that I would turn it up just as loud. Yeah, I’m sure I’d go kicking and screaming on this.

Filed Under: Jewish Media Reviews, Rants Tagged With: convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, darshan yeshiva, evangelical christianity, good jew, halacha, halaka, online conversion, pamela alexander, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punk rock, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, sex pistols

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