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Bushwhacking My Way To Divinity: Parshah Noach

October 12, 2015 by Patrick Beaulier

overgrown landscape

Two years ago, 5774, my father died alone, suffering severe alcohol withdrawal. My mother, whose mental health has been compromised for years, disappeared. After a police report covering 3 states was filed, she suddenly reappeared, raising more questions than answers. Following routine sinus surgery, a woman with whom I’d experienced a conflicted friendship died suddenly at age 26. Three Israeli teens were kidnapped and slaughtered. Women and children were kidnapped and tortured. Aid workers and journalists were tortured and beheaded. Crucifixions made an alarming comeback, and clergy members advocated violence and brutality. The news since his death proved little more than a ceaseless litany of horrors, testament to the unfathomable depravity of human beings. This year, things have not gotten any better.

So perhaps it is not surprising that I approached Yom Kippur with a smoldering sense of resentment. I recognized the immeasurable value of acknowledging the gap between who I am and the woman I want to be. I understood that reconciliation and forgiveness are central to creating a life of meaning and fulfillment. I appreciated the importance of true apology, both individually and as a community. Yet, I found myself increasingly resistant to the concept of a deity dictating who will die, who will live, who will prosper, and who will suffer in the coming year. The idea of my God mandating abuse, sadistic barbarity, disease, displacement, poverty, and hunger seemed downright repellent. I needed a God of infinite compassion and measureless love for us all. Haven’t we human beings endured enough?

While certainly not as sinister as the headlines, Parshah Noach does include several episodes of less than stellar human behavior. Noah, for all his ark-building and animal-whispering skills, is not described as a paragon of virtue, but rather, “…blameless in his age” (Genesis 6:9). Given that in his age, “…the earth was filled with lawlessness,” this is not particularly high praise (Genesis 6:11). After surviving the flood, Noah cultivates a vineyard, ostensibly brews his own wine, and proceeds to get drunk, get naked and pass out. When Noah’s son Ham discovers his father in such a state, he notifies his brothers. Shem and Japheth, in an action routinely described as respectful and discreet, cover their father by backing their way into the room so as to avoid seeing him naked. I have a difficult time reading their actions as anything other than textbook codependency, and as the daughter of an alcoholic I identify with the pain and frustration Ham must have endured following his father’s vitriolic (and perhaps slurred) curse:

“Cursed be Canaan;
The lowest of slaves
Shall be to his brothers,

And he said,

Blessed be the Lord,
The God of Shem;
Let Canaan be a slave to them.
May God enlarge Japheth,
And let him dwell in the tents of Shem;
And let Canaan be a slave to them.”

(Genesis 9:25-27)

Additionally, once the world was repopulated, the people as a whole grew arrogant and presumptuous. They planned to build a city and a tower, “…to make a name for ourselves; else we shall be scattered all over the world” (Genesis 11:4). Their hubris roused the ire of God, who intervened. “The Lord came down to look at the city and tower that man had built, and the Lord said, ‘If as one people with one language for all, this is how they have begun to act, then nothing that they may propose to do will be out of their reach. Let us, then, go down and confound their speech there, so that they shall not understand one another’s speech” (Genesis 11:5-7). Bam! A common language is no longer spoken, the city and its tower are abandoned, and the people disperse. So much for asset-based community devolment and collective wellbeing.

The morning of Yom Kippur, I met my personal trainer for a session of deadlifts and conditioning. As I performed rep after rep, it was difficult to swallow the feelings of shame and betrayal I felt, imagining the Shacharit service already underway. I knew if I did not make it for Yizkor, looking in the mirror would be a challenge. I debated with myself, offering strong arguments for shirking services and finding the divine on a long hike instead. But in the end, it was the ancient impetus of obligation that won out. Although my discomfort with a God of harsh judgment did not dissolve that day, the message I heard from the Rabbi lessened my anxiety. Love was included, as was unity and unabashed Jewish pride. Breaking the fast with my partner, I was grateful I’d gone.

When I read the news, I sometimes wonder, “Where is God?” Telling myself that God lives in the goodness of my fellow human beings is not always enough, especially when so much overwhelming evil stems from the same source. Parshah Noach reminds me that addiction, spite, and jealousy are as integral to the human experience as unconditional love, courage, and selflessness. Life is indeed a struggle we all share. More to the point, our Torah illustrates that we human beings have always been what is both wrong and right with our world. These are not God’s messes. They are ours, and we alone are responsible for cleaning them up.

I’ve seen a lot of butterflies lately. My always rational mind supposes some kind of butterfly season here in the desert – a natural cycle I’ve simply failed to notice in previous years. My more mystically-centered heart insists that the butterflies are messengers sent by HaShem, conveying comfort, hope and reassurance. I’ll take those where I can find them, and continue bushwhacking my way towards divinity.

Akiva Yael is an enthusiastic participant in all that is holy, including Torah study, powerlifting, and the beauty of our world.

Filed Under: Jewish Text (Torah/Haftarah/Talmud) Tagged With: addiction judaism, convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, darshan yeshiva, noach, noah, online conversion, parshah noach, parshah noah, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier

Noach Haftarah: What’s a Little Wrath Among Family?

October 15, 2012 by Patrick Beaulier


In this week’s Parsha we hear of Noah’s famous ordeal and the Haftarah, from Isaiah, concludes with the promise that not only will we be spared from apocalyptic floods (not sure if that includes a flood of zombies, for all you Walking Dead fans) and that the tents of Israel are about to see quite the baby boom. It’s a reaffirmation of the covenant, a promise of better things to come, and a little trust rebuilding between the chosen people and God.

Chances are we’ve heard the story of Noah since we were kids—a story even our non-Jewish friends know well. From the cutesy nursery room wallpaper borders of fluffy animals two-by-two to the movie Evan Almighty, it’s probably pretty hard to think of this vignette in a fresh way.

But somewhere in between our seeds inheriting the nations and the promising not to flood us again, there is a [Read more…]

Filed Under: Jewish Text (Torah/Haftarah/Talmud) Tagged With: convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, darshan yeshiva, haftarah, haftarah noach, haftarah noah, noach, noah, online conversion, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier

Parsha Pinchas: The Spear, A Dead Man, And The Sisters (Num.25:10 – 30:1)

July 12, 2012 by Jeremiah

Parsha Pinchas: The Spear, A Dead Man, And The Sisters (Num.25:10 – 30:1)

It’s easy to read Pinchas and think that with a just argument Hashem is open to reevaluate some Halacha, and I agree with that. It is also easy to look towards Pinchas for legitimizing righteous rage, and I would also agree with that. When I re-read Pinchas a few days ago I realized that this week’s portion is also about how often Hashem, Torah, Judaism, and religion as a whole is misrepresented.

Part of the human condition are conscience acts carried out in hopes of receiving a positive return. Pinchas and the five daughters of Zelophehad (Mahlah, Noah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah) are perfect examples of this trait. The circumstances surrounding Pinchas and the five sisters are very different but they both are the direct result of others misrepresenting what Jews and Judaism is.

Our portion begins with its namesake, Pinchas [Read more…]

Filed Under: Community Member Blogs, Jewish Text (Torah/Haftarah/Talmud) Tagged With: batman meme, Circle Pit The Bimah, darshan yeshiva, Hoglah, jeremiah, Mahlah, Milcah, noah, numbers, Parsha Pinchas, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, Phinehas, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, Tirzah, Zelophehad

You Are Noah’s Ark (and a tribute to Star Wars) – Parshat Noach

October 5, 2010 by Patrick Beaulier

We’ve all heard the Noah story. Blah…blah…animals. Blah…blah…big boat. Blah…blah…evolution and creationism. But maybe the Noah story is about us, about our inner lives. Michael explains how, and makes a nice nod to Star Wars in the process.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Wq6_d6fhQU

Filed Under: Jewish Text (Torah/Haftarah/Talmud) Tagged With: convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, creationism, darshan yeshiva, jewish psychology, noach, noah, noah's ark, online conversion, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punk torah, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, star wars, the flood

Is B’Nai Noach Proof That Something Is Wrong With Judaism?

September 21, 2010 by Patrick Beaulier

My inbox is filled with emails about the Noachide Movement (aka B’nai Noach), most recently an article by Gordon Haber in Killing the Buddha.

Noahides are, according to Haber, gentiles who believe that Judaism is the true path but that they don’t have to be Jews to follow it. Thus they refer to God as “Hashem,” study Torah and Talmud, and follow a kind of halakhah-lite—the Seven Laws of Noah, as opposed to the 613 mitzvot for Jews.

If you want to Build-A-Noachide, you need a few basic ingredients:

  • A Christian who has lost faith in the divinity of Jesus
  • A passion for Judaism (especially Orthodoxy)
  • An utter disinterest in becoming Jewish

An honest question: if you enjoy celebrating Shabbat, studying Torah, learning Hebrew, meeting to discuss Talmudic ethics and making sweet promo love with Chabad-Lubavitch, then why not skip the B’nai Noach middle man and become Jewish?

To become a Christian, one simply decides to have faith in Jesus. To become a Buddhist, you simply “take refuge” to the Buddha, his teachings and community. Islam: one phrase, and that’s it.

Judaism takes a year at least. There’s hurdles to jump through, classes to take, an entire culture to absorb, and even then, you’re a ger tzedek and even though technically no one is supposed to point out you’re a convert…well kid…you are.

So I’m wondering whether the B’nai Noach movement is really about Judaism’s conversion-prevention-stigma. We’re so obsessed with being the religion that “doesn’t proselytize” that we have driven people to create a New Religious Movement that’s basically Judaism-lite.

I guess it comes down to this: if a group of people want to believe Jewish, study Jewish, pray Jewish and do Jewish, yet have to make a new religion that is not Jewish…then what does that say about Judaism today?

Filed Under: Community Member Blogs, Converting To Judaism, Rants Tagged With: bnai noach, bnei noach, convert, convert to judaism, darshan yeshiva, ger, Jewish, Jews, Judaism, noachide, noah, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, Religion, ten commandments

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