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Norway, Amy Winehouse and My Guinea Pig: Why G-d Really Sucks Sometimes

July 24, 2011 by Patrick Beaulier

Is the world going straight to hell? Is God completely out of the picture? Three things happened this Shabbat that made me doubt my faith.

First, it was the pre-Shabbat death of my guinea pig, Mr. Bacon Sandwich. That morning, his eyes were weak and covered in goop. I asked my wife if we should take him to the vet. She replied, “his time is near.” I gave him some fresh romaine, wiped his eyes and he made his cute “qui!” noise. That was that. I checked back on him an hour later and he had crawled over to his water bottle, buried his head under the pine shavings, and passed on. I wrapped him in a white towel and buried him in my in-laws back yard. The shattered pieces of his ceramic food bowl is his grave marker.

Later, my wife informs me of a shooting in Norway. Turned out to be a terrorist attack on a youth camp and government buildings by a neo-Nazi. I shuttered to imagine the horror that the families in Oslo must be going through. To hear as well that the man who committed the act under the belief that it was the Christian thing to do made me cringe. I can understand God challenging me to accept the death of a pet, but to allow someone to commit violence in his name? G-d forbid.

And as Shabbat wound down, and I got back on my computer, another tragedy: the death of  celebrated R&B singer Amy Winehouse from a seizure, most likely the result of years of drug abuse.

I’ve had some terrible bosses in my day. Really terrible. But God, by far, is the worst boss I have ever had.

When a Jew hears bad news, it’s custom to say, “blessed are you, Lord our God, king of the Universe, who is the true judge.” Tonight, I can’t proclaim God’s greatness. But God willing, I will find the power to forgive God for his own shortcomings.

Filed Under: Random (Feelin' Lucky?) Tagged With: amy winehouse, convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, darshan yeshiva, death, jewish theodicy, judaism and death, kaddish, mourning, norway, online conversion, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, theodicy

No Music During the Three Weeks? Forget It!

July 19, 2011 by Patrick Beaulier

Originally posted on Jewcy.com

Bein ha-Metzarim is the period between the 17th of Tammuz and Tisha B’Av. It’s a time of mourning for the loss of the Temple and the exile of the Jews from Israel. And during this time, you’re not supposed to shave, get a haircut, get married, or listen to music.

Wait…no music? No way dude. I’m not into it. This “Three Weeks” thing isn’t my scene.

It’s not that I’m irreligious. Hardly. I probably read the Torah and Talmud every day. It’s an occupational hazard of working for PunkTorah. My problem really stems from the faulty logic that surrounds The Three Weeks.

I really hate the idea of Tradition-Becomes-Law, and clearly that’s what The Three Weeks are about. Prohibitions about what kinds of prayers you can say, kinds of meat you can eat, how hot your bath water should be…these are all made up by rabbis just to torture you. These cultural traditions get codified over time, which is odd given that the G-d explicitly says not to add or take away anything from the Torah (Deut. 4:2, 12:32). Since I’m not Ashkenazic (or Sephardic, for that matter) I have a hard time believing that I should follow the laws of a culture I do not belong to, especially if they are passed off as law when they clearly are not.

Secondly, I don’t think that the Jews being scattered through the Diaspora is worth three weeks without your ipod. I’m of the opinion that Jews are in the Diaspora because G-d wants us to “take it to the streets”, as you might say. For me, the Temple is a metaphor for hiding, of locking ourselves away from the rest of the world. Now it’s time to leave the Temple-in-our-minds-and-hearts and be with other nations, so that we can share our values and wisdom with the world, as well as learn from others. I don’t think this is an idea worth mourning; I think it’s worth honoring.

I’ll go to a Tisha B’Av service. I’ll be a part of community. I’ll reflect on what it means to be a people without a Temple. I’ll do all of it, because I love it and I live it. But, in the words of Charelton Heston, I’ll give you my ipod when you take it out of my “cold, dead hands.” And he was Moses, so it doesn’t get more legit than that.

Filed Under: Community Member Blogs, Rants, The Three Weeks/Tisha B'Av Tagged With: convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, darshan yeshiva, mourning, Music, No Music During the Three Weeks? Forget It!, online conversion, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, the three weeks, tish b'av, tisha b'av

Tisha B’Av: We Messed Up!

July 19, 2010 by Patrick Beaulier

PunkTorah will be holding an interactive online Lamentation. Together we will mourn and lament.

Right here! At 9:15 PM Central. Participate in the “build-a-lamentation” where we will work together to create a work to be featured on PunkTorah.org!

Tonight starts the fast of Tisha B’Av, the ninth of Av.

What does that mean? There are some things we are told not to do:
Prohibitions:

1.     No eating or drinking

2.     No washing or bathing

3.     No application of creams or oils

4.     No wearing of leather shoes

5.     No marital relations

6.     No Torah study

Why Tisha B’Av?
The Talmud tells us that there are five things that happened to the Jews on Tisha B’Av:
1. The twelve spies sent by Moses to observe the land of Canaan returned from their mission. Only two of the spies, Joshua and Caleb, brought a positive report, while the others spoke disparagingly about the land. The majority report caused the Children of Israel to cry, panic and despair of ever entering the “Promised Land”. For this, they were punished by G-d that their generation would not enter the land. Because of the Israelites’ lack of faith, G-d decreed that for all generations this date would become one of crying and misfortune for their descendants, the Jewish people. (See Numbers Ch. 13–14)

2. The First Temple built by King Solomon and the Kingdom of Judah was destroyed by the Babylonians led by Nebuchadnezzar in 586 BCE and the Judeans were sent into the Babylonian exile.

3. The Second Temple was destroyed by the Romans in 70 CE, scattering the people of Judea and commencing the Jewish exile from the Holy Land. According to the Talmud in tractate Ta’anit, the destruction of the Second Temple began on the Ninth of Av and the Temple continued to burn throughout the Tenth of Av.

4. The Romans crushed Bar Kokhba’s revolt and destroyed the city of Betar, killing over 100,000 Jews, in 132 CE.

5. Following the Roman siege of Jerusalem, Roman commander Turnus Rufus plowed the site of the Temple and the surrounding area, in 133 CE.

What can we learn from this now? How can we bring this into our lives today?
Well, we see that as a people we have a responsibility to mourn our collective losses. National tragedies tie a people together, just as national celebrations can. So mourning together as a people is an important part of being a Jew. Not only this, but we are told that Moshiach will be born on Tisha B’Av. The pain and mourning are akin to birth pangs.
If we look more closely at the first occurrence, the spies who were scared, the Israelites cried for no reason. G-d told them they would invade and be victorious, but they despaired of even trying. Because of this, because they cried empty tears, G-d told them that this day would be forever a day of mourning. It’s basically a parent saying, “Why are you crying over nothing! You’ve wasted all this time and energy crying over nothing, now you’ll really have something to cry about.”
The real sin of the Israelites is that they didn’t believe in themselves. They saw the inhabitants of Canaan and were scared, even after G-d told them not to worry. They didn’t have faith that they could do what G-d said they could. So this year let’s mourn for what we could have done, and resolve to do what we can. Recognize that Judaism doesn’t shy away from pain, it is a reality of life that needs to be acknowledged, but we have to allow our pain to give birth to a better world.

Filed Under: Jewish Text (Torah/Haftarah/Talmud), Shabbat & Holidays, Your Questions Answered Tagged With: bible, Counterculture, crying, darshan yeshiva, holiday, Israel, Jewish, Jews, Judaism, lament, mourning, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, Religion, temple, tisha b'av, Torah

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