PunkTorah

Independent Jewish Spirituality Online

Eat, Pray, Eat (Parshah Ki Tavo)

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I’m psyched about Rosh Hashanah. I’m supposed to say that for spiritual reasons. But really, I like apples and honey.

This week’s Torah portion is about fruit. The first fruit, in fact. We’re supposed to give that up as a sacrifice to G-d. And, surprise, G-d will bless us. Kinda anti-climactic, but not every part of the Torah makes for good TV.

We’re always giving sacrifices to G-d. Animals, plants…heck, one time there was child sacrifice (luckily that worked out OK). It made sense back then to sacrifice animals and plants because we lived in a farm-based economy. Our whole lives were what we had to eat (and for most Jews, it still is!)

I don’t own a farm. I’m not sure I know what “threshing” means and half the Shabbat prohibitions don’t apply to me because I’m not into skinning animals and preparing hide. But I still have to give sacrifices.

The solution: prayer. Our economy now is time and people centered. Time, because time is money. And people centered, because our talent, our energy, our ideas, our creativity are the fuel for the economy…not vineyards and pastures. Prayer is a sacrifice because it takes away our time and it also takes away our ability to think about ourselves and all the things that we want at that moment. We’re giving it up for the Lord. And what are the “first fruits” of prayer? Well you guessed it: the Shacharit service! The morning prayer is the first fruit of the day; the first chance that we get to think about ourselves. Instead, we get to think about G-d.

The best part of Shacharit is breakfast (let’s be totally honest here). I just chugged the best cappuccino on the planet and had a nectarine so delicious that it would make Gordon Ramsey cry like a little girl. Now THAT’S the first fruit!

Rabbi Patrick is the executive director of PunkTorah and OneShul. His passion for food may be inappropriate at times. When he’s not waxing poetic on PunkTorah, Patrick enjoys collecting vinyl records, modern art and goofing off on Facebook.

The D’var Torah For Valentines Day

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If you’re a person who believes that there is nothing outside the material world: no G-d, no spiritual forces, no power beyond what the senses can experience, then you might be inclined to say that love, for lack of a better word, is non-sense.

Love may, in fact, be an evolutionary development. Knowing that human beings survive better in groups than alone, evolution may have driven our attachment to others. We know that hormones in our brain create the passionate emotions which give us amorous feelings, and our specific desires in our romantic partners come from a process of trial-and-error; our brains learning to attach value to those who have the qualities that make us happy, creating “love maps” which guide us to the right partners.

If love is simply a result of thousands of years of natural selection, then it’s trivial to have a holiday like Valentines Day. After all, we do not have a holiday that celebrates other biological phenomena. This urge to make love the central theme of celebration points me in the direction toward believing that love is in some way “real” beyond physiology.

Ask anyone who does not believe in spirituality if love is real, and you’ll generally get a “yes” reply. That’s because there is something within people that takes the emotion called love, and removes it from this material, biological, personal experience. We can objectively see love as a pleasure button in the brain, but we don’t. We treat love as though it is a condition outside of human experience, like an ideal to strive for, to celebrate, and to insist on from the whole of the human race. Love is both personified, and transcendental. Love is so close that we feel our skin tingle, but so far away that we yearn for it.

Does this remind you of anything?

In the same way that we feel about love, we can feel about G-d. G-d is a condition outside of human experience, an ideal state to achieve, to celebrate. If you believe in the idea of human redemption, then G-d, like love, is something that the whole world should be drawn toward. We feel G-d close to us, and yet, so far away. G-d, like love, seems to hurt us sometimes, and heal us sometimes. And we know from science that our brains may be wired to experience religious ecstasy in the same way that our bodies create the chemicals of love and attachment to those around us.

Science proves what religious has said for thousands of years, that G-d and G-d’s love, are inside us.

It makes perfect sense to celebrate Valentines Day and to feel its Jewishness, because our covenant to cling to G-d, to create a just world, act in compassion for our neighbor, are all rooted in a sense of love that is beyond the material world. So remember this Valentine’s Day, whether it’s romantic love, the love of a friend, familial love, or the love of a child, remember that love, and G-d, are within us, always

And as a side note, there is a Jewish Valentines Day called Tu B’Av. 

A Letter to my Besheret (Soul Mate)

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Dear Besherit-

Thanks for not showing up again. Oh, wait… I should start this out a little nicer. Do you remember when I was a teenager and I thought I would have found you by the time I was 25 so by 27 I could be married. I am totally okay with not being married, but let me tell you these first dates are starting to really suck ass. I meet men who say I am “too Jewish” or “not Jewish enough”. My mother is starting to tense up every time I commit to another failed (again) relationship. I have decided you’re probably sitting in a coffee house or a pub right now with friends wondering why I am no where in sight. Maybe we even know one another, however, I doubt it because I am sure my instincts would have told me so.

Let me catch you up a bit. I work as an English teacher for 11th graders in Orange County. I have found it’s pretty cool to play Dr. Dre or some Israeli rap while the kiddos do their vocabulary. I know, you’re stuck doing some horrible nonprofit work (sense the sarcasm) or sitting at a desk making the world a better place. I just hate that you and I enjoy work so much that we might not have met. What the heck?

Now how dare you possibly have passed by me at some random Jewish function in Los Angeles, Long Beach, or Orange County. I know you didn’t mean to, but I was surrounded by so many people. I get it, you played coy. That’s cool… but I am pretty dense, you’ll have to be more upfront with me.

I would have made you a CD of all the dance music my students gave me. I have been jamming on it in the car and cutting a rug with friends every so often at Woody’s on the Warf of Newport Beach. I know you like to dance. I get it. Bar Mitzvas are where you can try out all your craziness.

Speaking of which my dress was not creased or wrinkled! I washed it and use this anti wrinkle spray on it. I am clearly wearing flats to that evening you need me to attend for your work. I don’t want to fall like the time I did on 2nd street (totally sober mind you) and broke my wrist, all because I wore a small heal. I am a klutz! I cant help it! And for your information I didn’t spend ANYTHING on the sweater, I sewed the flowers on an old one because I was bored. So there! J

In Los Angeles, there is this awesome Carlebach minyon that I like to daven at on Pico. Naw, I know you and I aren’t frum, but I am really glad that you understand I like to tap into my spiritual side and it’s cool that you support me in my religious zealousness every now and again. By the way, I appreciate you cooking vegetarian for me because your kitchen isn’t kosher and mine is. I am really excited that you don’t give a shit that I separate my milk from my meat. It was cute how you sang the song from NOFX as you stepped into my kitchen. Ha! And yes, I would like to go to the music festival with you.

You love Star Wars and a Bronx Tale too? Holy crap! Maybe we can have a marathon on a rainy day and then make fun of one another as my dog and cat make plans to escape from my condo because you and I are just so damn weird together. I have decided before I meet you under the chuppah I want the “dum dum” sound from Law and Order to play. I know, you wake up to me watching it at odd hours of the night and you find it charming. I like that you smile at my weird idiosyncrasies. Can you pass the frozen yogurt since you’re getting up to grab the newspaper anyway? You know I am more up on my politics than you are… don’t try and act like you know something before me. 😉 Silly!

Oh, you moved my bookmarker you stinker. I was reading _________________ in the bathroom, but apparently you also took a liking to it. Get another bookmarker and I can share it with you. For goodness sakes, put the seat down though! I almost fell in and Phoebe likes to drink from the bowl. Gross!

Last weekend I forgot to tell you thanks for coming to my softball game. The Matzo Ballers have gotten so much better since we have two non Jews on the team. Go figure right? J I wrote about it on my blog and somehow ended up sending some rant to PunkTorah as well. That site is really taking off and I am proud to have a small hand in it. Michael seems to put up with me, but Patrick is really the catalyst for all my nonsense.

My mother called three times yesterday asking when you are going to join my parents on the boat. I told them you’re excited, but I wanted to take you on the kayak with me and Willow, my pup, before you commit to a day of Jewish parents on the open seas. Nothing says rockier than Jewish parents and 10 foot swells.

I should get to bed so I can wake up early and see the new exhibit at LACMA or the Getty. I know, how many museums can I visit in a year? I don’t mean to be a geek, but I ran out of acrylic paints and my sewing is really coming together and I want new inspirations. Yes, you’re a muse, but I really love Van Gogh’s painting style. Either you can come with and we can nosh on some yummy Asian fooders or you can hang with the boys and see me tomorrow night if you like. The day after I’m headed to a “Handmade” fair again. I know, more art…! When you get time we’ll take a weekend to drive up the coast or to go to Napa or something as we discussed. I like weekends with you. Stop pretending like you’re the funny one. Okay, you do make me laugh so hard I am sure I’m going to explode, but you think I am pretty goofy too AND YOU LOVE IT!

Okay Mr. go getter punk rock briefcase using contradiction of a Jewish man (aka my besherit), we’ll talk tomorrow.

XOXO and be true to the streets-

Yentapunker

PunkTorah: Rebel Jews

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httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDscMtHPSR4

By Michael Sabani

In May of 2010, the known hate group Westboro Baptist Church came to Atlanta to spread their hate-filled rhetoric. We followed them. Everywhere they went, we were there. For every sign they held up saying “G-d hates you”, there were two saying “G-d loves you”.
We were able to stand up and let them know that we aren’t afraid of them. They held signs saying “Jews Are Evil”, “G-d Hates Jews”, and even had one of their seven year old children holding a large sign proclaiming “Rabbis Rape Kids”.

We are called in the Torah to fight evil, not to ignore it. We have a responsibility as Jews to repair the world. Sometimes that means coming out of our comfort zone, standing in front of the world, and proclaming that yes, I am proud to be a Jew, and there is nothing wrong with that. Yes, G-d does love us all. Yes, peace is stronger than hate.

And I say:

Shalom

Salaam

Peace

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