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Flashback Friday: What’s the Right Cup Size for this Idol? Parsha Balak + Breasts

July 3, 2015 by Patrick Beaulier

bra square

Aside from occasionally stashing an iPod in my sports bra while working out, I’ve never found my boobs a particularly convenient cache for goods. Nor do I imagine anything larger than an iPod would make for swift and graceful recovery in a moment of passion. Which is why I laughed aloud at both the Talmud and Rashi when I read their explanations of the last chapter of this week’s parshah, Balak.

Chapter 25 of Bamidbar (Numbers) reads, “while Israel was staying with Shittim, the people profaned themselves by whoring with the Moabite women, who invited the people to the sacrifices for their god. The people partook of them and worshipped that god. Thus Israel attached itself to Baal-peor, and the Lord was incensed with Israel. The Lord said to Moses, ‘Take all the ringleaders and have them publicly impaled before the Lord, so that the Lord’s wrath may turn away from Israel.’ So Moses said to Israel’s officials, ‘Each of you slay those of his men who attached themselves to Baal-peor” (Numbers 25:1-5).

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Filed Under: Jewish Text (Torah/Haftarah/Talmud), LGBTQ & Women Tagged With: bra, convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, darshan yeshiva, jewish women, online conversion, parashat balak, Parsha Balak, parshah balak, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier

God, Gender Theory, and Embracing the Divine Feminine: Parshah Va’ethanan

August 7, 2014 by Patrick Beaulier

woman sunset

I am in love with a God transcending all forms and constructs. I am awed by the concept of a deep divine flow worlds beyond what my own finite imagination can capture. In many ways, I need my entreaties to HaShem to be spilled into something utterly unknowable. I am not interested in a God that acts, thinks, feels or even looks as I do. Most of us, beautiful certainly, are a bit messed up, as well. I prefer to think of God as more wholly perfect than all of us spectacular and truly flawed human beings.

Such ideas of divinity stand in stark contrast to the anthropomorphic and decidedly male deity of our Torah. Directing prayers of gratitude and veneration to some faraway “He” never felt comfortable for me. How can I embrace an image of God so devoid of my own distinct femaleness? My identification as a woman is as central to who I am as my identification as a Jew. Frankly, if I have to devise an image of the infinite, I’d much prefer a righteous mashup of Lisbeth Salander and Margaret Atwood, with a little Angela Davis and Wonder Woman thrown in for good measure. Which is why, on the one day our sages electrified with female energy, I am willing to suspend my whole hearted acceptance of a God entirely beyond gender.

In Parshah Va’ethanan, we are told, “observe the sabbath day and keep it holy, as the Lord your God has commanded you” (Deuteronomy 5:12). Shabbat is arguably the most important Jewish institution. For centuries, its observance has been defended, advocated for, and enthusiastically adopted. Shabbat is a sanctuary common to all Jews. Through evolving interpretations of our Torah, it has also become a space for welcoming the divine feminine.

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Filed Under: Jewish Text (Torah/Haftarah/Talmud) Tagged With: convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, darshan yeshiva, jewish women, judaism women, online conversion, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, vaetchanan

A Call To Action (Parsha Naso)

May 30, 2014 by Patrick Beaulier

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Defiant women, jealous husbands, and occultish rituals mark this week’s parshah, Naso. Following an accusation of adultery by a husband with no proof, a woman was brought before a Temple priest to undergo the enigmatic ordeal of bitter water. If she were innocent, she would survive and bear children. If she were guilty, she would not.

“The priest shall bring her forward and have her stand before the Lord,” our Torah describes. “The priest shall take sacral water in an earthen vessel and, taking some of the earth that is on the floor of the Tabernacle, the priest shall put it into the water. After he has made the woman stand before the Lord, the priest shall bare the woman’s head and place upon her hands the meal offering of remembrance which is a meal offering of jealousy. And in the priest’s hands shall be the water of bitterness that induces the spell. The priest shall adjure the woman, saying to her, ‘if no man has lain with you, if you have not gone astray in defilement while married to your husband, be immune to harm from this water of bitterness that induces the spell. But if you have gone astray while married to your husband and have defiled yourself, if a man other than your husband has had carnal relations with you -’ here the priest shall administer the curse of adjuration to the woman, as the priest goes on to say to the woman – “may the Lord make you a curse and an imprecation among your people, as the Lord causes your thigh to sag and your belly to distend; may this water that induces the spell enter your body, causing the belly to distend and the thigh to sag.’ And the woman shall say, ‘Amen, amen!’ (Numbers 5:16 – 22).

The entire experience would have been one of intense emotional turmoil. Such a woman, known as a sotah, would first confront the suspicions of a jealous husband and then endure the public shaming which undoubtedly accompanied a formal accusation. She would have been forced to appear in her community’s most sacred space in a state of humiliation, choke back the dust of the Temple floor, and wait for her body to respond. Our Torah offers no recourse for women who suspect their husbands of infidelity, nor advice to the husband who has wrongly accused his spouse.

Today, the majority of Jewish women worldwide do not define their existence exclusively by marital status or reproductive capacity. We do not put women on trial because their husbands are abusively possessive. We know infertility is not divine punishment. In the west, though we continue to navigate both covert and subtle elements of a patriarchal paradigm, we are closer to gender equality than ever before. Women of other cultures, however, are forced to endure the attitudes exemplified by this week’s parshah. Recently in Sudan, Meriam Ibrahim was sentenced to death both for adultery and for renouncing a Muslim identity. In both Pakistan and Saudi Arabia, adultery remains punishable by death. In Somalia, a woman may be stoned if found guilty of infidelity and in Bangladesh, a woman may be publicly flogged.

I choose to read the above passage as a call to action. The description of ritualized misogyny is a reminder that such practices still exist. For me, parshah Naso recalls the powerful words of Devarim. “Justice, justice shall you pursue, that you may live and inherit the land which the Lord your God gives you” (Deuteronomy 16:20). My duty to God is my obligation to my sisters and brothers in our shared human family. Grateful for the privilege and freedom I enjoy as an American Jewish woman, I have the power to effect change for my sisters. This week’s parshah provides an opportunity to reflect on the evolving sphere of women in Judaism, as well as the current experiences of women worlds away from our own communities.

Akiva Yael is an enthusiastic participant in all that is holy, including Torah study, powerlifting, and the beauty of our world.

Filed Under: Jewish Text (Torah/Haftarah/Talmud), LGBTQ & Women Tagged With: convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, darshan yeshiva, jewish women, naso, online conversion, Parsha Naso, parshah naso, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, sota, sotah, women

Tichels, Tzniut & All About Jewish Women’s Hair Covers (Plus A Video How To)

January 29, 2014 by Patrick Beaulier

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You may have heard of or seen Jewish women wearing scarves as a head covering. They are often referred to as “Tichels” which is the Yiddish word for scarf. The Hebrew transliteration is mitpachat. Many of the women wear them because of the Jewish law that a married woman should cover her hair when around non-immediate family members. Part of the reason is due to honoring the privacy of the intimacy of a husband and wife since the hair is seen as a private area for a married woman. Others wear them for additional spiritual reasons, including the concept of tznius. Tichels are not the only methods of covering the hair. For example non-Sephardic observant Jewish women may chose to wear hats, snoods, or wigs.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y1yHRATlOY8

Tznius is the Jewish concept of modesty and privacy but not only for the husband and wife relationship. It also has a beautiful meaning for a woman’s relationship with the Holy One. The idea is that the holiness is revealed when the physical is hidden which is why we wear clothing. When a person, man or woman, reveals their bodies that is often the first thing a person will notice about them. This is not a judgment but an observational occurrence. However, when you meet someone with their bodies covered and their hair/head covered you tend to notice the windows of the souls first, their eyes. Many women have said that they fear hair covering causes us to lose our freedom or is oppressive. However many of us do not see it this way. When a woman is not forced to practice hair covering, we see it as a beautiful freedom for the soul. How could tying scarves on the head be freedom you may ask? One answer is because we are free from the sexualized image norms bombarding us in society. Our physical self no longer dominates our soul, and the way other people see and treat us is different as well. Ultimately, we are expressing our freedom of religion and identity as Jewish women.

Personally for me the practice of hair wrapping and head covering elevates my soul, my mind focuses on higher things, and as a practical element my hair stays clean when I go out. Additionally my environmental allergies are not as strong for some reason. I truly cannot start my day until my head is wrapped and I even add an adapted blessing because it is so special to me: “Baruch atah HaShem, Eloheinu meleckh ha’olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav, v’tzivanu al mitzvot tznius.” This translates to “Blessed are you Holy One, our God, King of the Universe, Who has sanctified us with His commandments and commanded us regarding the practice of modesty.” We are commanded to walk modestly before our Creator and this is part of my fulfillment of this beautifully rich and delicious command. Also, there is a cultural element. For thousands of years women have been wearing scarves on their heads with flowing beautiful gowns. Tichels give me that feminine connection to my ancient sisters as well as my modern ones, no matter which religion or denomination of Judaism, there is this respect for the Holy One, for ourselves, and for each other that scarves tie together.

Chavivah is a graphic design volunteer and beta tester for Darshan Yeshiva

Filed Under: Judaism & Belief, LGBTQ & Women Tagged With: chavivah, convert to judaism, darshan yeshiva, hair covering, hijab, jewish wig, jewish women, modesty, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier, sheitl, snood, tichel, tzinut, tznius

Nigella’s Butternut Squash with Pecans and Blue Cheese

March 30, 2012 by newkosher

Nigella Lawson’s Jewish identity is pretty interesting. Taking part in the third series of the BBC family-history documentary series, Who Do You Think You Are?, Lawson sought to uncover some of her family’s ancestry. She traced her ancestors to Ashkenazi Jews who originate from eastern Europe and Germany. Though both of her parents are Jewish, she was not raised in the tradition. And like most British people, she has a love of Christmas (culturally only, as Lawson is an atheist). To her credit though, Lawson has said that she has developed a distinctly “Jewish character”.

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Either way, we love her recipes and even though this recipe was listed as a great Christmas or Thanksgiving dish, we think it makes an even better Passover dish. Chametz free and totally easy, Nigella’s Butternut Squash with Pecans and Blue Cheese will put you into a food coma that will make you recline even more at the seder table than you are supposed to! Thank you, Food Network.

4-pounds 8-ounces butternut squash
3 tablespoons olive oil
6 stalks fresh thyme or 1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
1 cup chopped pecans
1 cup crumbled Roquefort or other blue cheese
Salt and pepper to taste

Preheat the oven to 425 degrees F.

Halve the squash, leaving the skin on, and scoop out the seeds, then cut into 1-inch cubes; you don’t need to be precise just keep the pieces uniformly small. Having trouble with this part? Just click here for a video how-to.

Put into a roasting pan with the oil and strip about 4 stalks thyme of their leaves, sprinkling over the butternut squash. If you can’t get any fresh thyme, sprinkle over dried (but honestly, fresh is best).

Roast in the oven for about 30 to 45 minutes or until tender.

Once out of the oven, remove the squash to a bowl and scatter over the pecans and crumble over the cheese tossing everything together gently with salt and pepper to taste.

Filed Under: NewKosher (Recipes) Tagged With: butternut squash, Butternut Squash with Pecans and Blue Cheese, convert to judaism, convert to judaism online, darshan yeshiva, how to cut butternut squash, jewish women, nigella lawson, nigella lawson jewish, online conversion, patrick "aleph" beaulier, patrick aleph, punktorah, rabbi beaulier, rabbi patrick aleph beaulier

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