(Jewish) Internet Dating Tips From Someone Who Should Know
This post is courtesy of Justin Corsa, the president of http://www.supertova.com
I’m going to introduce several common tips concerning internet dating in order to help develop your online dating skills. Though, it’s only “internet dating” it still requires a simple set of skills in order to maximize your dating potential.
I’ll begin with photos. I don’t know how to stress this enough. In order to maximize your potential, it’s important to submit a photo. You will receive more views and more messages. That’s the bottom line. If you don’t feel comfortable uploading a photo to an internet dating site, it’s understandable. However, look at it in this perspective. Everyone is on here for the same reason. We are Jewish, single, and actively looking. There’s no reason to hide. Further, when uploading photo, make it a recent one. No sense on posting a photo from 10 years ago. Deceiving someone is not the best way to walk into a first date.
Many people are under the impression that waiting to be contacted is the best way to encounter online dating. They feel, “why should I contact someone? They should be contacting me.” This strategy is probably not the best idea in order to locate your best match. It’s extremely important to utilize the search tool to locate exactly what you’re looking for. Some believe that having a profile is supposed to act like a magnet. It’s never the case. Even if you’re receiving a dozen emails without contacting someone, you are still limiting yourself. The reasoning behind this suggestion is because you could have the “perfect” match on the website, however, you didn’t take the time to look.
You should not feel embarrassed about contacting someone. Get aggressive and reach out to the matches you feel are the best potential (this is for both men and women). The law of probability states that the more people you connect with, the better your chances you will find the best possible match. In addition, the more replies you will receive.
Another important tip is to never get disgruntled if someone doesn’t reply. It happens. It’s happened to me several times; and it happens to everyone. Do not let it bother you; and don’t get angry with the person if they don’t reply. The best thing you can do is move on to someone else. Eventually, someone will reply to you. If someone doesn’t reply after the 2nd email, I wouldn’t send another one. There could be a multitude of reasons why the person didn’t reply. It’s a waste of time to try to figure out exactly what went wrong.
When writing an email to someone, make sure it’s not your typical “cut/paste” email. I learned 15 years ago (when I initially began using the internet as another avenue for dating), that women want to read something sincere. A simple “hi, how are you?” may seem too vague. Talk about something they had mentioned in their profile. They want to know you are actually reading their profile. Put in some effort during the email and I can assure you, the reply volume will increase.
Before meeting someone, you must communicate in depth over the phone. Get a sense of the person before making plans to meet. I strongly encourage you never to rush into it. Get to know the person and if you feel comfortable vocally, go ahead and set a date to meet in person.
Ask for several photos prior to meeting. If someone doesn’t have a photo on their profile and refuses to send one; I’ll leave this one up to you. In my personal opinion, I wouldn’t take the chance. It’s better to put a face to the name. As I always say, it’s not shallow; just being rational.
The best places to meet are public places. Most people feel comfortable in these types of settings. Parks, restaurants, lounges, and museums are great places to meet on a first date. Bars, clubs, and movie theaters are limited with respect to communication. Try to avoid those places. The purpose of the 1st date should ONLY be to get to know each other in order to figure out if a 2nd date is a good idea.
Don’t engage online dating with a negative attitude. If that’s how you enter the arena, you will probably leave the arena with the same attitude. With anything in life, approach everything with a positive attitude. You will develop more positive results.
Please. If you don’t receive any messages; and you have not made any effort in contacting someone, the only person you can blame is yourself. You cannot approach internet dating; or any other dating, with laziness.
Good Luck to everyone!