I am going to cheat this week. I am cheating because like the ancient Hebrews in Behaalotecha I am literally living in a desert; but unlike those whose story unfolds in this portion it has only taken three years and seven months in the desert for this Jew to settle down in a permanent home or as I like to think of it in my own small piece of Zion. What resonates with me the most in this portion are the delicate intricacies involved when falling into a routine versus falling out of synch with that routine.
I am not picking sides because I am cheating this week. Like so many of us I love when things go smoothly, I love when word is kept, and I love when things start to change and lead toward a place I perceive to have greener grass (or I suppose browner sand in my case). Behaalotecha is about this dynamic, it is a deep nuanced portion. It is about following through on your word, it is about the importance in following a routine which works, and it is about how what you may think is the best for you right now is not the best for you ever!
I cheated on this week’s Dvar because I used to have a routine that worked for me and I no longer do. I said I was going to buy a home this summer, I did, and now I am disorganized and aching for daily motion of familiarity . The good news is I made the right choice and it is just a matter of time before I have a modified routine fusing the old and new together in harmony. I am going to go unpack some things and try and figure out what size mezuzah I need in lieu of a welcome mat. Shalom.
Have you found yourself in a place of upheaval and resentment like the Hebrews described in Behaalotecha? Has breaking away from what you are used to benefited or hindered you? How has Hashem and His Torah played a part in all of that? You know what to do. . .so do it!
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