It’s Rosh Hashana and times, they are a changing. It is a time where we as the Yids all over the world look back on the last year and ask, “what the hell was I thinking?” 5771 became my infamous year of vanity. I spent more money on clothing and hair dye than ever before. Why am I sending my confessions of vanity during a time where we should be spiritually cleansing? Well, my outside needed to start reflecting what I have to offer from the inside. I have been battling with the way I am seen, secular or religious. Then, it happened. I found myself in an expensive (but good, because only the best clippers get near this Jew-Fro) salon. I chopped approximately 10 inches off my hair and went blonde. Since, I have had comments that I look less Jewish. Many people have said I look better? I am surprised; does one equate to another? It took me 5 months to identify with the color hair that sits on my head. I think it looks good, but I’m not blonde. So, was I good to myself in 5771? I created a vain monster that bleaches her hair, doesn’t leave the house without makeup, and now makes fake curls on her freshly bleached head.
I have a hard time identifying what I look like within the community. Hair color seems to be a metaphor as I keep one foot out into the secular world. But like my roots show the truth, the dark curls provided by Has-em keep coming; I am unequivocally summed into a strong Jewish foundation, roots of generations.
There is no way of telling what 5772 has to offer. We will experience joy, pain, simcha, and loss. However, we must do these things as outward expressions of our faith. This year I became skin deep, but I am blessed with the opportunity to question why I chose to focus outward instead of inward. Vanity serves some purpose I suppose. What the purpose is, only time will tell. Like my roots that keep growing and the makeup that will wash away with the winter’s rain, I have to look at myself in the mirror. What looks back is 5771 years of genetics, faith, prayers, miracles, and potential. Chag Sameach! L’Shana Tova and may we all be inscribed in The Book of Life for another glorious year!