Does Saying “Shabbat Shalom” Make You A Jerk?

Question: I know many non-observant Jews. We work together and we are friends. I am becoming more involved in Judaism and often say “Shabbat Shalom” on Fridays. People are now looking at me like I am a jerk! Should I just say “have a good weekend” since Friday night is Shabbat for me, but not for them?

Answer From Patrick: They are clearly not your friends because they are not as religious as you. Get new friends. Thanks for reading PunkTorah!

Just kidding!

I hear questions like this a lot. The same thing came up on Yom Kippur a few years back.

Do you say “have a meaningful fast” if your friends and family aren’t fasting? Do you go super Politically Correct and say, “I hope that you have the Shabbat you wish to have, if you have decided that this is indeed Shabbat, and if not, I am sorry if I have offended you. Please resume eating your Baconator from Wendys while I daaven Birkat over my lousy, overpriced falafel pita that I got from the angry man at the shwarma place”.

I say, if Shabbat Shalom annoys your friends, then don’t say it. They know you are going to shul. They know you are turning off your cell phone. One day, they’ll think that’s cool. And if they don’t, that’s their issue. But in the mean time, friends go in different directions. Not everyone does the same thing all the time. The problem is not you, it’s that you’re doing something new that they aren’t a part of, and on some level, they may think they are losing their friend.

What do you think?