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Aside from occasionally stashing an iPod in my sports bra while working out, I’ve never found my boobs a particularly convenient cache for goods. Nor do I imagine anything larger than an iPod would make for swift and graceful recovery in a moment of passion. Which is why I laughed aloud at both the Talmud and Rashi when I read their explanations of the last chapter of this week’s parshah, Balak.
Chapter 25 of Bamidbar (Numbers) reads, “while Israel was staying with Shittim, the people profaned themselves by whoring with the Moabite women, who invited the people to the sacrifices for their god. The people partook of them and worshipped that god. Thus Israel attached itself to Baal-peor, and the Lord was incensed with Israel. The Lord said to Moses, ‘Take all the ringleaders and have them publicly impaled before the Lord, so that the Lord’s wrath may turn away from Israel.’ So Moses said to Israel’s officials, ‘Each of you slay those of his men who attached themselves to Baal-peor” (Numbers 25:1-5).
Recently I reached out to a young woman on Facebook who is about to go through the process of the beit den to finish her conversion to Judaism. Although I am a Jew-by-Choice (a term I will be using to describe myself but I do not apply the same phrase to others who have converted unless they chose to identify as such), it is hard to believe that less than two months ago today, I was in the same position myself.
I decided to reach out to her because she was expressing some of the same fears and anxieties that I had both leading up to the date as well as the actual day itself.
In my opinion, Judaism is one of the most intimidating religions to convert to as well as one of the most challenging, and one could certainly argue, with good reason.
Unlike other religions, you take on a legacy and a history quite unlike any other. Along with all of the richness and beauty that comes with the religion, also comes along the ugliness of persecution and discrimination.
It is not something that converts to other religions usually have to be so consciously aware of. Yes, their newfound faith certainly had its dark side but it is not something in many cases (in mainstream religion at least),that threatens its survival. That is a huge burden to chose to take on.
When I began studying Judaism I was so intimidated to mess up, to do something disrespectful, to say a bracha (blessing) wrong. I was in awe of anyone that could speak Hebrew fluently and who could perform rituals without a second thought.
I felt like an outsider for the longest time and was subconsciously expecting someone to call me out because I was not officially “Jewish” yet.
Then something changed in me after I started getting more and more involved with the community. I craved finishing my studies so I could officially join the Tribe. The more I learned about Judaism, the more I fell in love. Then my mentality changed and all I could think was “how can I not be Jewish”.
I could not help it. I was in love with Judaism, and I had found it all on my own. I wanted to share this beautiful belief system with everyone but I definitely overloaded some of my both Jewish and non-Jewish friends with constantly talking their ear off on anything and everything Jewish. I could not be satiated.
The day of my conversion, I was on the verge of having both a panic attach and a complete meltdown because my emotions were running so high. It was hard to believe that all of my learning and studying had boiled down to this very moment. What would happen if the beit den wanted me to wait to convert? Part of me felt like I would never be ready and the other part of me felt like I had to be ready because why wait any longer.
I will say I am now drawing a blank on what I actually said during the beit den because I was so nervous but I do know that I was crying happy tears both in the mikvah and afterwards. I have never felt so happy in my life and proud of myself.
Its amusing to me sometimes when born-Jews don’t seem to understand why I, or anyone else for that matter, would choose to convert to Judaism. I think that, for me atleast, the beauty of the religion is worth the risk for the potential ugliness that can come along with it. Yes, I do worry about anti-Semitism daily and my heart drops every time I hear a new report in the news about it. Nevertheless, there is so much beauty to this religion, that how could I not be a part of it. To share the joy that Judaism has brought to me is why I have chosen to start blogging about it starting right here and right now.
Channah C. is a newly converted Jew-by-Choice who enjoys reading, writing, volunteering within her local Jewish community, and learning everything she can about Jewish living. She converted through Darshan Yeshiva and is currently studying to be a Darshan through their training program. Follow her on Twitter @JewishlyNew
Three things to talk about here. First, let’s talk about clothes…what they communicate about who you are, what your life is about, and what you think of yourself and the world around you. And RuPaul. Then we’ll talk about a tent in the wilderness. And after that, Starbucks, sacred ritual, and how we’re basically living the same lives we were living thousands of years ago.
Let’s do this!
Holy Drag Queens
What a person wears says a lot about who they are, and what they represent. A cheap suit means an attempt to be upwardly mobile, in a tasteless way. A military uniform commands power from civilians, or shows rank among the troops. We can see a person’s lot in life from what they wear, and of course, how they wear it. The clothes don’t make the man, but in a way, they do.
Once upon a time we had these priests called the Kohanim, and yowzah, they had some drag man. The priestly vestments contain several “clues” as to the way in which a priest was to be understood in relation to the community: the mixing of linen and wool (shatnez) and the blend of crimson, purple and blue with gold interlaced.
First, the mixing of wool and linen must be addressed, because it’s really, really, really strange (then again, so is most of the Bible, so shocker, eh?) The commandment for the high priest to mix wool and linen comes before the prohibition of shatnez. This is arbitrary at first glance. Perhaps wool and linen represent two seasons that are not supposed to be mixed together, reflecting how the ancient Israelites thought of God as the maker of a world of opposites: light/dark, land/sky, sky/water, winter/summer, etc. Another possibility could come from a later prohibition on cross-dressing.
Drag.
Grrrl-power badassery shines from the pages of our Torah this week! Although Parshah Sh’mot is usually defined by baby Moshe in a basket, a burning bush, and a debate with God, it also features possibly the first recorded act of civil disobedience in history. An act perpetrated by two women of courage, who with one small decision widened their influence from midwives to reproductive rights activists with mad birthing skills.
A new Pharaoh has ascended the throne, one unfamiliar with the history of the Israelites. By this point, their numbers have increased substantially and although their labor clearly benefits both the royal court and the Egyptian state, the Pharaoh finds their presence odious. In a severe, short-sighted and ultimately nonsensical attempt to rid them from the land, he calls upon Shifra and Puah. “The King of Egypt spoke to the Hebrew midwives, one of whom was named Shifrah and the other Puah, saying, ‘When you deliver the Hebrew women, look at the birthstool: if it is a boy, kill him; if it is a girl, let her live” (Exodus 1:15-17).
Deeply connected to the lives of Israelite women, Shifra and Puah have witnessed every aspect of reproductive life. They have bonded with women preparing for pregnancy, labor and delivery. They have ushered into the world beautiful, healthy babies. Shifra and Puah have deftly facilitated the grieving process for those who delivered children stillborn or lost their babies in miscarriage. They are frequently sought after for advice regarding infertility, child spacing, and any complications that might arise during and after pregnancy. When a girl reaches first menstruation, it is Shifra and Puah who counsel her on the magic of her body. Shifra and Puah, trained from their earliest years to guide their sisters through the unique and powerful journeys of their bodies, flatly reject Pharaoh’s order.
I’d love to know the conversation between Shifra and Puah immediately following their meeting with the Pharaoh. Did they plan their subversion in detail, evaluating different ruses to determine the most effective? Or did they simply laugh at the absurdity of the suggestion that any woman trained as they were would slaughter a child? Did they mutter riotously about the Egyptian control of every aspect of the Israelites’ lives? I personally enjoy envisioning a dialogue comparable to Rage Against the Machines’ “Killing in the Name,” but one of the wonderful things about Torah is that you can imagine this scenario however feels empowering to you.
Shifra and Puah play brilliantly on the Pharaoh’s racism towards their people when called to account for continuing male births. They tell the Pharaoh that, much like animals in the field, Israelite women give birth too quickly – a baby simply arrives before the midwives have a chance to do Pharaoh’s dirty work. Remarkably, he accepts their explanation. For their righteous actions, God rewards both midwives with families that manifest into dynasties and Pharaoh is left to find other solutions to his perceived problem.
Much discussion continues on the patriarchal tenor of our Torah. What makes our book a living document, however, is everything you and I bring to its reading. Show up to Torah study armed with whatever philosophy you like, and see what you find. Look for yourself in the Torah’s pages – both who you are and who you’d like to be. Ultimately, our sacred text is about people very much like you and me. What you get from it is largely determined by what you give to it.
Akiva Yael is a positive and enthusiastic participant in all that is holy, including Torah study, powerlifting and the beauty of our world.
