Converting To Judaism

What It Takes To Be a Jew

December 30, 2010 By punktorah

So if you’ve ever read any of my other blogs, you probably know where I started off. But if you haven’t, I’ll just give you a little bit of a rundown so that you can understand this blog.

My mother’s family is Jewish, but my mother converted to Christianity before my brothers and I were born. I was raised in a predominantly Christian household, but now that my mom is in contact with her family a little bit more (they lost contact for a while, but that’s a long story), she’s starting to go back to her Jewish roots, with me leading the way.

For the past 7-8 months, I’ve done nothing but lived, breathed, and ate Judaism. Everything has been about my religion, my religious identity, and where I am in Judaism. So it came as a shock to me when I went to visit a Rabbi a couple weeks ago and was told I am not, in fact, a Jew, and that I would need to go through the conversion process.

Now let me just stop right here to say a few things. Before this rabbi, any Rabbi or any one else I had talked to confirmed that I was, in fact, Jewish. They said, “well, once a Jew, always a Jew, and your mothers family is Jewish, as are you”. So I’ve believed I was Jewish, all up until this one man tells me that I’m not.

I didn’t know how that made me feel. I felt almost like a fraud, that I’ve been living a lie by saying I was Jewish, when I, according to this one man, am not.

So what exactly makes someone a Jew? Well, I’ll ignore the Talmud and the Torah for a second to answer just based on what I think. The mentality that “I’m not a true Jew because so and so reasons” got me thinking, who exactly gets to tell me whether or not I’m a real Jew, except for G-d and myself? Sure, the conversion process is a good thing to validate your feelings about the religion, but I know I’m Jewish, with or without it. I don’t need a Rabbi’s confirmation to solidify my faith. I know many people will tell me, “well that’s wrong”, but think about it: your faith is yours alone, and what does a Rabbi do for you that you couldn’t do for yourself by reading books, the Torah, and going to shul, besides taking you to a mikvah and declaring you Kosher? I can understand how one would see the conversion process as helping to weed out the “true believers” from the “nonbelivers”, of course. I’m not saying that we should throw away a tradition (on the contrary, I think that there should be a conversion process), I’m just saying that you shouldn’t let someone else’s beliefs dictate your own.

On another note, a couple months ago I visited another Rabbi, who confirmed that by what I said, since my mothers family is Jewish, that I am as well; but because I have a “goyish” first and last name, that I would need “proof” that I was Jewish. He explained to me that I would need a family member’s Rabbi to sign off that my family member was, indeed, Jewish, and that I would need birth certificates of my family members to prove that I was related to said family member. Let me stop right here for a second, and just ask something: I need papers to prove that I’m Jewish? If any history buffs are reading this, or even anyone that is a little bit knowledgeable about the Holocaust, they might think that this sounds a little bit familiar.

In Nazi Germany, Jews were required to have papers saying that they were Jewish, and were required to wear a Star of David to further prove that fact. In telling me that I need papers to prove my Jewish Identity, this man single-handidly pushed all efforts any Jews have made in these past years since World War II, back 65+ years.

I’ve lived my life in a more Jewish fashion than many of my Jewish friends who’ve grown up in Jewish homes, have. I’ve talked the talk, walked the walk, and done hours of research and studying. I’ve made my religion into every single part of my life. I know I’m a Jew, and I’m proud of that fact.

This journey has been a long one, and the path continues to grow every day. The experience that I’ve had with others opinions have shown me that my journey will be filled with slight road blocks that might knock me down. But I know that I can get right back up, brush off my knees, and walk around the road blocks, which will in turn make me a stronger person in my faith. If I go through the conversion process, or get papers from family members proving my Jewish Identity, it’ll be of my own accord, not because someone else made me feel like less of a Jew because of it.

I guess the moral of this story is, is that the old saying really does ring true “Two Jews, Three Opinions”, but just because someone else’s opinion might differ from ours, it doesn’t always mean that they’re always right, or that even we’re right. Judaism gives it’s people a lot of leeway in regards to opinion, which sometimes proves to be a hassle, but overall can make us stronger in our faith, and, if we can accept that others will sometimes have differing opinions, it can help us grow more as a united Jewish people.

Is B’Nai Noach Proof That Something Is Wrong With Judaism?

September 21, 2010 By punktorah

My inbox is filled with emails about the Noachide Movement (aka B’nai Noach), most recently an article by Gordon Haber in Killing the Buddha.

Noahides are, according to Haber, gentiles who believe that Judaism is the true path but that they don’t have to be Jews to follow it. Thus they refer to God as “Hashem,” study Torah and Talmud, and follow a kind of halakhah-lite—the Seven Laws of Noah, as opposed to the 613 mitzvot for Jews.

If you want to Build-A-Noachide, you need a few basic ingredients:

A Christian who has lost faith in the divinity of Jesus
A passion for Judaism (especially Orthodoxy)
An utter disinterest in becoming Jewish

An honest question: if you enjoy celebrating Shabbat, studying Torah, learning Hebrew, meeting to discuss Talmudic ethics and making sweet promo love with Chabad-Lubavitch, then why not skip the B’nai Noach middle man and become Jewish?

To become a Christian, one simply decides to have faith in Jesus. To become a Buddhist, you simply “take refuge” to the Buddha, his teachings and community. Islam: one phrase, and that’s it.

Judaism takes a year at least. There’s hurdles to jump through, classes to take, an entire culture to absorb, and even then, you’re a ger tzedek and even though technically no one is supposed to point out you’re a convert…well kid…you are.

So I’m wondering whether the B’nai Noach movement is really about Judaism’s conversion-prevention-stigma. We’re so obsessed with being the religion that “doesn’t proselytize” that we have driven people to create a New Religious Movement that’s basically Judaism-lite.

I guess it comes down to this: if a group of people want to believe Jewish, study Jewish, pray Jewish and do Jewish, yet have to make a new religion that is not Jewish…then what does that say about Judaism today?

Love The Stranger

September 8, 2010 By punktorah

By Danny Stauffer

One day as I was studying the Torah I noticed that the commandment to love the stranger was repeated several times. I’m sure as good Jews we’ve all read the Torah and noticed the same thing. In fact, I think anybody, regardless of your level of observance, has come across that commandment several times during their studies.
Why is it repeated so many times? One could assume that a commandment repeated is probably pretty important. So the reason? Because we were once strangers in Egypt. It’s all about not sympathy, but empathy. We have been there before. In fact, we’re there now. If you live anywhere outside of Israel, you’re not in a Jewish nation. So, you could say that we are strangers once again in another’s land.
None of that is news to any of you, I’m sure. What might be news to you is that this commandment seems to be quite often forgotten. If not forgotten then outright ignored! I, believe it or not, am a stranger. I did not come to Judaism through the womb but instead through conversion (which I’m still in that process). And oddly enough, some of the most discouraging people have been Jews. I have been told by Jews that because I’m a homosexual, even with an Orthodox conversion, I’d never be a real Jew. And I’m not the only one.
During my time as a “Jew Under Construction” I’ve developed a network of other converts and people who are converting. And would you believe it? I’m not the only one who faces these issues. A very good friend of mine was so immersed in her Jewish community that even the men (it was a Frum community) were astonished by her knowledge. Yet many refused to call her a Jew. She eventually gave up. No community wanted her to be a part of it so she became a Muslim in order to have a community to pray with (there is nothing wrong with that, of course. It’s just unfortunate that she had to seek elsewhere for a religious community.). After her conversion to Islam her rabbi encouraged her room mates to move out of the apartment.
Where is the kindness to strangers there? Perhaps the more frum will say that we need to segregate ourselves to keep us free from outside influences. But what will that accomplish? I find more segregated Jews leaving their faith than integrated Jews. I can understand being against intermarriage, but let’s face it; we live in a world of non-Jews. We can’t just ignore the rest of the population. I always thought the whole idea behind Judaism and Tikkun Olam was to lead by example. Therefore, when somebody wishes to follow our example, even if not in our exact idea, should we not encourage it? Should we not assist in it?
I have accepted the fact that no matter what route I take for my conversion there will always be large portions of the Jewish community who don’t see me as Jewish. For the most part, I am fine with just ignoring them. With or without a conversion I consider myself Jewish and bound by Jewish law. And part of that law tells me that I have to treat the stranger with kindness and respect. And some day, when the stranger approaches me and asks me how he, too, can become a Jew, I wouldn’t dare tell him to think twice. I wouldn’t tell him he can’t be Jewish because he’s different. I won’t judge him. I will instead give him a hug and call him brother.

Contact info

Connect with us