Hi guys! Did you miss me as much as I missed you? I bet you did.
This being my first real life Passover, I wanted it to be killer rad. Like every other holiday I’ve tried to make special, something weird happened in my life that’s forced me to re-evaluate the approach I wanted to take on said special day. This time it was school, teething babies, and blah blah blah. Life guys, it gets in the way of all the fun stuff huh?
I didn’t want to fully disappoint you all though, so I got to thinking. What makes Passover awesome? Well other than all the obvious things, it’s probably Matzah. Right? No. Well, I think it’s kind of cool, and I couldn’t be FULLY alone, because here in this lovely post I’ve put together a whole bunch of random things people put matzah on and sold to other people. Maybe it’s offensive, maybe it’s just tacky, or maybe you just think it’s really hilarious, it’s all right here. And if anything, it’s good for a late hostess gift am I right?
1. Look at this bag. First three adjectives I think of? Classy. Elegant. Glamour. Well.. not really. But it makes you laugh. Or at least it made me chuckle a little. I mean come on guys, it’s a bag, and it’s silly.
2. This pouch! What can’t you do with it? You can store things! You can hold things! You can place it places! Multifunctional is what it is. And necessary for the person on the go! Can you go wrong with buying this for someone? No. You really can’t.
3. The buttons? I mean come on. Everyone needs and wants some sort of “Keep Calm” slogan in their life. It’s in no way a phrase that is well past it’s 15 minutes or anything! Well anyways, it’s cute.
4. These ear rings? I own 12 pairs. Or I would if I was as awesome as I want to be. You know how sometimes people wear annoying things on their ears and you just want to pull them off sometimes? Yeah, these are in no way like that. They’re just exquisite.
5. Now dogs like Passover too ya’ll. Why shouldn’t they get in on the fun? I mean, nothing says I’m here to party like a Matzah collar for your pooch. I mean, how can I even try to sell you on this being a good idea for a present? It kind of speaks for its self. Am I right?
1. Baby shirts with funny sayings on them never go out of style. Trust me. They’re going to be around as long as neon colored Crocs. FOREVER! Why not let your favorite little person get in on the fun too?
2. Babies, or at least babies I have, don’t like wearing things on their heads. Kippah’s aren’t any exception. Maybe if it was Matzah related you can barging with the toddler you’re wanting to look adorable. And if not, then well you can just keep it for next year.
3. A 1st onesie?? Oh boy! Honestly? I do like this one. It’ll be my little guy’s first Passover, and he’s awesome so pshh it’s perfect.
4. The only other thing cuter than a funny saying shirt, is the tie shirt. Don’t tell me you don’t squee a little on the inside when you see a little dude in one, because you know you do. They may be a little one sided-but honestly a little girl in a tie with a big old bow on her head would be stinking cute too. AWW!!
5. Bibs? Every parent lies to themselves and says “Oh y kid doesn’t need one” or maybe it’s just me. Either way, most kids look lame in them, and this is a great way to change that.
1. Who in the world doesn’t need a new iPhone case for every month of the year? I do. I have like a good 5 that I rotate every other week. And unlike most of the joke’s I’ve made on here today, that’s true. If I had this one? BOY HOWDY I’d be the coolest kid on the block!
2. This shirt is just classic. Hilarious. AND NEON! Do yourself a favor and get like 8 of them so you don’t have to run out when you spill wine on yourself during Seder.
3. A towel? With a pun! OY! SIGN ME UP FOR ALL THE TOWELS!!
4. Now, this pin isn’t like the other pin earlier. It’s square, and square pins are in right now. Don’t believe me? Just look in any fashion magazine. I’m sure you’ll see one…….somewhere.
5.This hoodie. I might actually get this guy. Passover here is going to be super cold, and will ruin all my cute little outfit ideas. This might help me out a little, and it’s hilarious.
Now, I hope I helped you out on your matzah fix. I also hope you laughed a little. I know I did.
Jacqueline D. is a 20something “stupid new converting noob”, who likes comic books, nail polish, and will be your best friend if you buy her a slushy. Most of her life is spent over at Mother Mopher where she blogs sometimes.