B"H

You’re Smarter Than You Think (Parshat Nitzavim)

PunkTorah is anti-authoritarian.

This is what the young rabbi said about us. Now, he was actually defending us. We had been criticized for being a secret Jews For Jesus conspiracy (which we aren’t) and this rabbi was trying to set the record straight. His critique of us was, “oh, well everything PunkTorah does is weird, or silly, and the leadership and volunteers have no idea what they are doing — but at least they aren’t Christians!”

I wasn’t sure whether to say thank you or not.

The issue of “who knows best” is an all too common one. I would argue that Jews suffer from Rebbe-itis…we have yet to discover that the internet is the best tool for Jewish learning. We still look to the person who went to JTS or RRC or HUC or Yeshivah Blah Blah Blah to tell us how to be Jewish. This stems originally, I believe, from the Temple period. Modern Jews today are still looking for the Levite Priest to offer us a kosher sacrifice.

But Parshat Nitzavim goes against this logic entirely.

For this commandment which I command you this day, is not concealed from you, nor is it far away. It is not in heaven, that you should say, “Who will go up to heaven for us and fetch it for us, to tell [it] to us, so that we can fulfill it?” Nor is it beyond the sea, that you should say, “Who will cross to the other side of the sea for us and fetch it for us, to tell [it] to us, so that we can fulfill it?” Rather, [this] thing is very close to you; it is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can fulfill it. (30:11-14)

Do we need rabbis? Yes. We need rabbis like we need auto mechanics. When my car needs an oil change, I could probably do it myself. Is there a chance I could screw it up? Probably. So I take it to the mechanic. But in reality, I’m smart enough to do it. I’m just being lazy.

Moses tells us not to be lazy with Torah, here. The commandments are close to us. They are in our hearts and mouths, not the hearts and mouths of someone else who knows better.

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A Very Musical (and Danceable!) Parshat Re’eh

Prayer leader Rivka is going to be teaching a class soon about Jewish liturgy and music videos. This got me thinking: I wonder if there is anything musical for Parshat Re’eh that I could post on PunkTorah. Sure enough, we have a music video from G-dcast and an interesting interpretive dance piece for this week’s torah portion. Enjoy!

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Circumcisions For Men, Women and Everyone In Between (Parshat Ekev)

“Circumcise … the foreskin of your heart,” G-d says in Devarim 10:16. But how the heck do you hack off the skin around your heart? And by the way, the heart doesn’t have a foreskin!

Here’s what I gather: circumcision is a mitzvah because Abraham did it, and so should we, right? On the other hand, a circumcision isn’t a child’s choice. It’s something that happens to you without your consent. I suspect if babies could talk, they wouldn’t be too keen on elective surgery.

Also, it’s unfair that men have the opportunity to perform mitzvot that women can’t. And what about transgender people or people with ambiguous genitals? Aren’t we all children of the same G-d, fair and equal? How can G-d put us in a position where one person’s ability to glorify Him/Her is above others? Seems lame to me.

Circumcising the heart resolves that issue. It tells us, metaphorically, to remove the junk that surrounds out hearts, that keeps the good stuff from coming in. Regardless of who we are, and what we have going on “down stairs”, we can equally take part in the mitzvah of circumcision by putting G-d first and peeling away the layers of our own ego that keep us from being truly made in the image of the Lord.

 

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Why Jews Make Terrible Buddhists (Parshat Devarim)

When I first started writing dvrei Torah, I sympathized with Moses. It had to be a real pain to wander the desert for forty years with a bunch of whiney Jews that just want to go back into slavery. I can’t stand unappreciative people, so Moses was my guy.

But now, I’m starting to wonder if Moses was a pain, too. He repeats the same thing over and over again. Like an old man who forgets what he’s told you (and is so lonely he won’t stop talking for fear you’ll walk away), Moses retells the same stories, sometimes adding a few new details, or sometimes glossing over stuff. Parshat Devarim is that exact case.

Of course, it could just be that Moses is responding to his audience. The Hebrews might not be the sharpest knives in the drawer (remember, they were slaves — not a lot of education going on there) and they also love to move around a lot. It’s amazing that JuBus (Jewish Buddhists) even exist, since the prerequisite for Buddhist enlightenment is the ability to sit still for more than five minutes without talking, something that Jewish folks have an impossible time with.

Perhaps there’s something zen-like about this constant repetition of story telling. Active meditation, the practice of doing the same task correctly over and over again until reaching a profound state of bliss, in common in Buddhist monasteries. Remember the Karate Kid…wax on…wax off. It’s that kind of thing.

Moses might have been tapping into that: the peacefulness that comes with practicing the mundane in such a way that we receive some sense of profound knowledge. Of course, it was the Jewish scientist Albert Einstein who said that the definition of insanity was “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”.

Bummer.

 

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Yuppies Pretending To Be Revolutionaries (Parshat Korah)

If you like stories about political rebellion and massive death, then Parshah Korach is right up your alley.

In this week’s parshah, Korach decides that Moses needs to be overthrown. In his mind, Moses has too much authority and sits on his high horse, talking to G-d, and looking down on everyone else.

So he challenges Moses authority. He gathers a bunch of guys, and they confront Moses. So Moses calls him out on it! Moses and Korach go to the Tent of Meeting with fire pans of incense and sure enough, G-d sides with Moses. Korach and his dudes get swallowed up by the earth and the rest die in a massive plague.
Basically, you don’t mess with G-d.

A lot of people read this Torah portion as a way of promoting fundamentalism. “See, if you rebel against G-d, you’ll be punished! So burn your Urban Outfitters shirts and step away from the indie rock, because you need to sit all day reading Gemara or G-d will punish you all the days of your life.”

That’s a lie. And they know it.

This story is actually about DISTRUSTING authority.

In the first part of the story, we learn that Korach comes from a powerful family. The Midrash (Jewish legends) about Korach teaches that he was wealthy, too. And if you look at the people he recruited to overthrow Moses, they weren’t anti-establishment. They were princes, men from the assembly, nobility. They were yuppie power brokers!

Korach used these two hundred and fifty men to challenge Moses, not because they wanted equality, but they wanted power for themselves. Worse than that, they managed to trick people into following them under the lie that “everyone in the congregation is holy” (Numbers 16:3).

There are people in this world: politicians, celebrities, people in power, who claim that they are looking out for the common man. But sometimes, these people aren’t really looking out for you. They are just using you.
Why did G-d side with Moses and Aaron and not Korach? Because Moses and Aaron were the real deal. Yes, they were the guys in charge. But their hearts were in the right place. They weren’t out for “number one” like Korach.

So if you’re going to challenge the system, go for it! G-d likes rebellious people. Just make sure that you aren’t being tricked by some yuppie jerk who talks a good game.

This week’s d’var is a repeat, but some goodies are just worth reposting. Originally posted here: http://punktorah.org/?p=1028

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Are the Mitzvot Pointless? (Parshat Bechukotai)

Why should anyone follow the commandments, the mitzvot? They’re out dated and strange.

God tells the Hebrews that if they do not follow the commandments, He will “order upon you shock, consumption, fever, and diseases that cause hopeless longing and depression. You will sow your seed in vain, and your enemies will eat it…You will eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters” (Lev. 26:16-29).

Eating your own children? That sounds like a good enough reason to me!

Of course, there is always a positive side to life. Should the Hebrews choose to remain true to God, their reward is an abundant harvest and safety from their enemies.

If we look at Parshat Bechukotai and read it plainly, then there’s no need to question why the world operates the way it does. Good things happen to the faithful and bad things happen to the unfaithful.

Yet, the world doesn’t seem to operate this way. Suffering happens to all people, regardless of how good they are or what their level of Jewish practice is. Does this mean that the Torah is wrong? Absolutely not!

The Torah has layers of meaning. And it’s my belief in this week’s portion that we’re meant to read this as a psychology book, not a theology book. Instead of reading Parshat Bechukotai and seeing an angry, Zeus-like God in the sky throwing down bolts of lightning, we should turn inward and see how the rewards and punishments described in the Torah reflect something that is deeply connected to personal happiness.

If you follow My statutes and observe My commandments and perform them, I will give you..

  • Security
  • Bravery
  • Comfort
  • Love

If you…do not perform all these commandments…I will [give you]…

  • Hopeless longing and depression
  • Breaking of your pride
  • Bereavement
  • No satisfaction
  • Fear
  • Paranoia

What God is talking about here is not something physical like grapes, winning wars and making babies, but something that is deeply psychological! Not following God, it seems, takes us out of a rhythm of life and puts us into a place where we are never satisfied and struggling just to get by emotionally.

This might sound over the top, but consider the recent work that has been done in Positive Psychology. Dr. Tal Ben Shahar, an Israeli and popular professor at Harvard, has suggested in lectures that the rituals and teachings of Judaism are directly related to discoveries he has made in what truly makes people happy. His research unlocked something in the scientific community that Judaism has taught for thousands of years: it does not matter how much money or success we have, what really matters is our connection to community, family, a sense of purpose and reason to life. These are the values of Judaism and what the mitzvot are all about.

So although it’s easy to throw away the commandments as outdated folkways, consider that it’s these “silly rules” that may lead you to the kind of happiness you’ve always wanted.

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Holiness Is Apparently Not A Gay Buddhist In Blue Jeans (Parshat Kedoshim)

Many of my friends struggle with this week’s Torah portion because of one line:

And a man who lies with a male as one would with a woman both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon themselves (Lev. 20:13).

It’s interesting to note that none of my friends are having theological problems with wearing blue jeans (Lev. 19:19), falsifying weights and measures (Lev. 19:35) or cussing out their mothers and fathers (Lev. 20:9).

I get it: I’m a big flaming liberal when it comes to Torah. I support gay rights. I have tattoos. I’m not on an epic quest to vandalize my local Buddhist monastery a la Abraham’s idol smashing and I’m freaked out by any attempt to create a new Sanhedrin in Israel (or anywhere for that matter).

Holiness is not just a matter of following rules. It’s also a matter of having a pure heart, for as the Torah tells us in this same portion:

Thou shalt not oppress thy neighbour…Thou shalt not curse the deaf, nor put a stumbling-block before the blind…in righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour…Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thy heart…thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself…if a stranger sojourn with thee in your land, ye shall not do him wrong…thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt (Lev 19:13-34).

So why do we struggle with one line of Torah about a sexual act, but don’t seem to be freaked out at all by the idea that we have to be one hundred percent selfless, loving all people as we love ourselves, treating everyone equally and never doing any harm to anyone, ever?

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There’s No Such Thing As Judaism (Parshah Acharei)

This week’s Torah portion goes into details about the Yom Kippur service, which frankly was a lot bloodier than the hunger-and-white-clothing event which we have today. Acharei also talks about the casting of lots onto goats for sacrifice to G-d and to Azazel.

Wait…Azazel? Who is this guy?

 

Azazel can be a who, but it can also be a what. Ask Chabad and they will tell you that Azazel is the cliff that the goat was pushed off. That makes sense, as Azaz is rough or strong, and El is the root of Elohim. But Azazel can also be the name of a shadowy supernatural demon related to warfare. Perhaps it’s both, or a little more of one component or the other, depending on who you are and what time in history it is.

There’s no denying anymore that the religion practiced by the ancient Israelities was bordering on paganism. While I love the modern cultural midrash that the people of the past were closer to “Bible Times” and therefore closer to the true teachings of the Jewish faith, science is teaching us that truly, the ancient Hebrews weren’t really better Jews than we are today. Their idols were clay statues. Our idols are TV stars and fast food restaurants. As the old joke goes, “same stuff, different day.”

 

I don’t think Judaism really exists as an ongoing practice that we need to adhere to. Judaism, like many other -isms, can be idolatrous. Really, the Torah doesn’t teach us how to be religious. I think instead it teaches us, in a very long winded way, that we are in a covenant. Strip everything away and you’ll find only one sentence that remains true through all the ups and downs of the Torah: I am the Lord your G-d.

 

I am the Lord your G-d inspired the Temple and the sacrifice. When the Temple was gone, it inspired the shul and the rabbis of the Diaspora. After the Holocaust, it inspired social justice and political action. And in today’s global world, it inspires those of us who are taking the message of HaShem “to the streets” (or should I say, Facebook) to shout out loud that G-d in Heaven is G-d alone and there is no other.

So what is more important to you, G-d or Judaism?

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D’var Tazria & Itchy Skin Diseases

D’var Tazria (Vayikra/Leviticus 12:1 – 13:59)
Submitted by Neal Ross Attinson

Icky skin diseases consume most of our attention in this week’s Torah portion, but the cause and effect probably aren’t what you think.

Our parsha goes into great detail about a handful of different skin afflictions, collectively called “tzaraat,” all subject to inspection by the priests. (The theme is expanded in next week’s parsha to include similar afflictions in clothing and houses.) But while tzaraat is usually defined as “leprosy,” the details aren’t hygenic – in fact, the main consequence of tzaraat is “tumah,” being unable to bring sacrifices to the Mishkan — and this only when the tzaraat is in a state of flux (no pun intended). If you’re completely covered in it, the priest judges you “tahor” (pure/clean/) and that’s that, at least until the tzaraat begins to recede.

(When I teach this to 12-year-olds, I describe tzaraat as “spiritual cooties.” My teacher Rabbi Jack Gabriel tells me that expresses it nicely.)

Homiletically, our rabbis and sage have interpreted tzaraat as the consequence of lashon hara – otherly known as snark, gossip, trash talk – in that it makes us unfit to draw close to G?d. In light of the beginning of Genesis, when G?d created everything out of words, we see the importance our tradition places on speech (not to mention writing!).

These days, what with texting and pop-ups and the interwebs, words are a cheap commodity. It’s not always easy to see their sacredness; certainly not in the way of our Torah ancestors, for whom “closeness to God” was a spatial, rather than spiritual, concern. When words lose their sacredness, however, so do we. Snark is easy when sarcasm and creative character assassination are the coin of the media realm. But Jews don’t do things the easy way — we do them the meaningful way. For example: PunkTorah” can be re-rendered into funky Yiddish as “punkt orah” – a point of light. So let light flow from our mouths, and kindness from our words; and may these small actions help bring our banged-up world into holy and peaceful shalom.

Neal Ross Attinson teaches b’nei mitzvah students in Sonoma, California (AKA “Anatevka-among-the-vines”) and blogs at http://metaphorager.net. He feels uncomfortable without a pad and pencil.

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Martin Luther King, Jr. and the Ten Commandments (Parshat Yitro)

OK we’ve been there…Moses carried Joseph’s bones… while the rest of the folks in Israel were collecting weapons, gold and silver. Moses didn’t care. He carried the bones in his arms. Then, God goes and sends them the long route.

Fast forward to Martin Luther King. He carried the bones of his ancestry, while others carried cars and homes, jewelry and focused on oppression of others. MLK could have ignored it all and done his thing in his hometown.

He could have not had as much stress in his life, but he chose a different route.  A much harder road to travel. He put himself at risk and was armed more with his beliefs rather than weapons or grandiose items.

Now, fast forward to you right now. What do you carry with you in your heart and spirit? What helps you understand what to keep with you and what to throw out? The Ten Commandments.

Sometimes we are forced to take the long route, and it doesn’t mean it is wrong or bad for us, sometimes we need to circle the goal to see what the purpose really is. We are a lot like Moses and Martin Luther King; both men didn’t want to carry the “baggage” per se, but did so because it was a part of them, and a part of something they valued.

If you look at the ten commandments, where Moses is trying to get people to listen, he is setting up ethical laws… and so was Martin Luther King. If you really look at the bigger picture, the commandments, when followed by differing groups of people, serve as an alliance of sort. They are laws but laws that bring people together rather than tear them apart. In what ways do the ethics of the Ten Commandments bring you together with others or, tear you from others? Have you had peers or friendships that have been weighted by the knowledge that something in a commandment was being attacked, even if at the time you didn’t think of the commandments but instead, the behaviors? Being stolen from, lied to or someone being disrespectful to your parents or to you as a parent could be just some of the reasons you felt a friendship was being tested.

In whole, the ten commandments are often intertwined with our spirits even when we don’t see them; bringing back last week with the bones carried, and MLK with his ancestry and desires; we see that there are things we carry with us that are a part of us. The Ten Commandments are most certainly with us; just recognizing them instead of being oblivious to them, is the key.

This week’s d’var is written by Michele Paiva, wellness expert, publisher, syndicated radio host and PunkTorah volunteer.

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