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Converts, Cheesecake, and Other Reasons To Like Shavuot

My Letterman-style Top Ten Reason To Love Shavuot:

10. Cheesecake Brownies. It’s like shooting heroine and cocaine at the same time..only a lot healthier and legal. Dairy and Shavuot go hand-in-hand, and since I seldom eat meat this holiday glorifies everything I love that makes me fat.

9. You get to remember who Ruth is. Ruth is the national symbol of Jewish feminists. I kinda wish we read her megillah instead of Esther’s: instead of booing Hamen, we’d be applauding the Moabite.

8. Everyone stays up late studying Torah. Or just rockin’ the kiddush. If you’re an early to bed, early to rise type, just read our backlog of Shavuot articles.

7. Converts get some respect…for about six hours. On Shavuot, you’re the most Jewish person in the room…even if you were born with the name Christopher Jesusman. And converts are generally the only people who know what Shavuot is in liberal circles, so you get to feel like some kind of tzadik for your intense knowledge.

6. Work restriction. This year is the best because it falls middle of the week, then it’s over, then it’s Shabbat. It’s like taking a week off, since you mentally check out from work a day before any holiday anyway.

5. It has that kinda made-up feeling. Shavuot is a fairly minhag heavy holiday, in the sense that Ruth, studying and milchig is pretty much all there is to it and the rest is just customs to fill in the time. I like that because you never have to worry about doing the wrong thing on Shavuot. Hanukkah is like that, too.

4. Weird conversations. I like Shavuot chavrutah with eccentric people, because the combo of staying up late and heavy religious discussion always goes in strange directions: people passing out, talking in their sleep, stoner-like debates about whether or not Boaz’s foot was actually a foot or a euphemism for…ya know…the male part.

3. Energy drinks. When I was in the rockabilly punk band The Love Drunks, I used to slam energy drinks laced with vodka. I found the combination helped me stay up really late, and mellow out at the same time. I’m not into that kinda thing anymore, but Shavuot is my one time a year where I gorge myself on Red Bull.

2. The diversity of Jewish events. If you really want to pull an all day and all nighter, find a small child and force them to chaperone you to a Chabad family event. The ice cream sundaes are always incredible. In the afternoons you can generally find some JCC-type of place doing a late afternoon event catching after school/before dinner crowd, and then you can party with the grown ups all night.

1. The Torah!!!!!!!!!!! Come on, forget all that cultural junk. It’s all about the Torah, people.

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Selling Your Daughter And Destructive Oxen: Parshah Mishpatim

(Subscribe to R. Michael’s weekly D’var Torah at OneShul’s IndieYeshiva by clicking here)

Parshah Mishpatim is focused on, as the name implies, laws, mishpatim being the second word of the portion. In mishpatim Hashem jumps from giving us the Ten Commandments, the basis for our law, and begins to gives us the laws regarding, among many others things, slavery, selling your daughter before puberty, and what happens if you have an ox that destroys your neighbors home.

What does this have to do with us today? More than you may think!

First of all, the question needs to be asked, why, after setting down the ten commandments, the ten mitzvot that are the basis for our relationship with G-d and man, does Hashem run full speed into talking about some crazy slavery laws? For a few reasons.

1. We are watching as G-d takes a bad situation and makes it more fair and compassionate.

Slavery was a big reality at the time, no matter what reservations and objections we have today. G-d was taking what was a terrible practice and trying to humanize it.

Think about this, the Israelites were just freed from slavery in Egypt. G-d is saying, “Remember the hard lives you just had? Well guess what! You can’t do that to anyone else now either!” G-d is grabbing the reigns, so to speak, and gradually re-directing the course of reality. The argument goes that if G-d had come and said “No more slavery!” it would be like trying to teach a caveman to dial a cellphone. It is so outside their realm of understanding that they weren’t ready for it yet. In fact, at the time, being a “bondsman” was a way to sort of “fix your credit”. An Israelite was supposed to choose another Israelite over a slave of another nation, even if they “cost” more, to make sure that one tribesman helped another. And after six years, or the Jubiliee year, they were to be released from their bond. At least there was a light at the end of the tunnel.

2. G-d wants to show us that there is no “realm of religion” in the Creator’s eyes.

Unlike a Western point of view where religion deals solely with spirituality and ritual, or a separation of the Israelite “temple” and civil court, to be a true mensch (a good person) and a chassid (a pious person), you need to be “scrupulous in matters of civil and tort law”. Judaism knows no separation between the court and the Temple.

Ramban tells us that the civil law is an extension of the tenth commandment, forbidding covetousness. So in order to know what not to covet, we have to know the rights and property of others.

3. G-d doesn’t want us to struggle alone.

Towards the end of the portion we find the mention of lending money to our fellows without interest. In fact, the phrasing is “When you lend money”, not “if”. Lending to the poor is not an option, it is obligatory! The commentary states that not only are we to lend money with no expectation of invested return, but by lending, the Torah means attachment, to attach ourselves to their plight. They are not alone when they struggle, and that is what is most important, not letting others struggle alone.

Ultimately we see that in our lives as Jews, there is no realm too large or small where G-d cannot fit. Even in dealing with matters of seemingly unspiritual civil law, we find G-d. I invite you to take the opportunity to look for G-d. Look for G-d somewhere you may not have looked before. You might be surprised where G-d can be found.

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Martin Luther King, Jr. and the Ten Commandments (Parshat Yitro)

OK we’ve been there…Moses carried Joseph’s bones… while the rest of the folks in Israel were collecting weapons, gold and silver. Moses didn’t care. He carried the bones in his arms. Then, God goes and sends them the long route.

Fast forward to Martin Luther King. He carried the bones of his ancestry, while others carried cars and homes, jewelry and focused on oppression of others. MLK could have ignored it all and done his thing in his hometown.

He could have not had as much stress in his life, but he chose a different route.  A much harder road to travel. He put himself at risk and was armed more with his beliefs rather than weapons or grandiose items.

Now, fast forward to you right now. What do you carry with you in your heart and spirit? What helps you understand what to keep with you and what to throw out? The Ten Commandments.

Sometimes we are forced to take the long route, and it doesn’t mean it is wrong or bad for us, sometimes we need to circle the goal to see what the purpose really is. We are a lot like Moses and Martin Luther King; both men didn’t want to carry the “baggage” per se, but did so because it was a part of them, and a part of something they valued.

If you look at the ten commandments, where Moses is trying to get people to listen, he is setting up ethical laws… and so was Martin Luther King. If you really look at the bigger picture, the commandments, when followed by differing groups of people, serve as an alliance of sort. They are laws but laws that bring people together rather than tear them apart. In what ways do the ethics of the Ten Commandments bring you together with others or, tear you from others? Have you had peers or friendships that have been weighted by the knowledge that something in a commandment was being attacked, even if at the time you didn’t think of the commandments but instead, the behaviors? Being stolen from, lied to or someone being disrespectful to your parents or to you as a parent could be just some of the reasons you felt a friendship was being tested.

In whole, the ten commandments are often intertwined with our spirits even when we don’t see them; bringing back last week with the bones carried, and MLK with his ancestry and desires; we see that there are things we carry with us that are a part of us. The Ten Commandments are most certainly with us; just recognizing them instead of being oblivious to them, is the key.

This week’s d’var is written by Michele Paiva, wellness expert, publisher, syndicated radio host and PunkTorah volunteer.

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Is B’Nai Noach Proof That Something Is Wrong With Judaism?

My inbox is filled with emails about the Noachide Movement (aka B’nai Noach), most recently an article by Gordon Haber in Killing the Buddha.

Noahides are, according to Haber, gentiles who believe that Judaism is the true path but that they don’t have to be Jews to follow it. Thus they refer to God as “Hashem,” study Torah and Talmud, and follow a kind of halakhah-lite—the Seven Laws of Noah, as opposed to the 613 mitzvot for Jews.

If you want to Build-A-Noachide, you need a few basic ingredients:

  • A Christian who has lost faith in the divinity of Jesus
  • A passion for Judaism (especially Orthodoxy)
  • An utter disinterest in becoming Jewish

An honest question: if you enjoy celebrating Shabbat, studying Torah, learning Hebrew, meeting to discuss Talmudic ethics and making sweet promo love with Chabad-Lubavitch, then why not skip the B’nai Noach middle man and become Jewish?

To become a Christian, one simply decides to have faith in Jesus. To become a Buddhist, you simply “take refuge” to the Buddha, his teachings and community. Islam: one phrase, and that’s it.

Judaism takes a year at least. There’s hurdles to jump through, classes to take, an entire culture to absorb, and even then, you’re a ger tzedek and even though technically no one is supposed to point out you’re a convert…well kid…you are.

So I’m wondering whether the B’nai Noach movement is really about Judaism’s conversion-prevention-stigma. We’re so obsessed with being the religion that “doesn’t proselytize” that we have driven people to create a New Religious Movement that’s basically Judaism-lite.

I guess it comes down to this: if a group of people want to believe Jewish, study Jewish, pray Jewish and do Jewish, yet have to make a new religion that is not Jewish…then what does that say about Judaism today?

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OneShul: The First Completely Online Synagogue

PunkTorah is proud to announce the fund-raising launch for OneShul.org, the world’s first web-based, community run synagogue.

OneShul was inspired by group of PunkTorah volunteers who began meeting online to daven with one another, using PunkTorah’s recently released Indie Yeshiva Pocket Siddur (available online and through ModernTribe.com). With the popularity of this “DIY Prayer Service” came the idea for a virtual synagogue without borders, based on collective Jewish values and spiritual independence.

“Synagogues are shutting down for the same reason that brick-and-mortar business are closing,” says Executive Director Patrick Aleph. “People live online and if you believe in being where people are, then you need to be there, too.”

Says PunkTorah Creative Director and “Alterna-Rebbe” Michael Sabani, “OneShul is an open synagogue for all of us to congregate, learn, lead, and empower each other. Traditional Jewish organizations and leaders have said that real community can’t be achieved online, or as they see it, synthetically. We challenge that notion. We say that yes, real community means communicating with each other in a meaningful way and that can be done online. We are proving it right now.”

OneShul is “independent” meaning that it does not tow a party line to any of the established Jewish movements. Instead, by being community ran, participants get to decide what kind of minyanim to make, the style of worship, etc. PunkTorah hopes that OneShul will be a diverse place, where all Jewish opinions are appreciated.

OneShul has already seen major success with its live, interactive Afternoon Prayer Services and Jewish classes, led by different members of the PunkTorah community via UStream. PunkTorah hopes to expand OneShul into something much larger, providing Kabbalat Shabbat, more holiday services, an “indie yeshiva” of Jewish books and blogs that are written collaboratively by volunteers, spiritual counseling via skype, a mobile davening app for the iPhone/iPad, tzedakah and tikkun olam programs, OneShul outreach houses across the country, volunteering and internship opportunities for students interested in Jewish communal service, and a launching pad for the spiritual future of the New Jew community. “Everything that a physical synagogue has, but better,” says Aleph.

To make this happen, PunkTorah has launched a fundraising drive through IndieGoGo.com and plans to raise $5,000 to create the “synagogue of the future”.

With OneShul, PunkTorah is challenging the notion that community only exists in neighborhoods. Says Michael Sabani, “Which community is more real? The one where I show up once a week and sit next to what is essentially a stranger, say ‘Shabbat shalom’ and then leave? Or the one I am in constant contact with through Facebook and Skype, who I know I can turn to in a time of need?”

To learn more about PunkTorah’s OneShul project, visit www.indiegogo.com/oneshul

PunkTorah is a non-profit (501c3-pending) organization dedicated to independent Jewish spirituality, culture, learning and debate.

Press Contact: Patrick Aleph

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What’s Up With Tzitzit?

The who, what, why, how, and when of tzitzit.

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Conversion Bill Alert!

Here’s the thing, whether or not you agree with who is in charge of Israel, sweeping 85% of the Jews under the rug and declaring that they are no longer members of the family is a lot of power to give to one group of people. Click here to send an email to Prime Minister Netanyahu expressing your concern about the conversion bill before the Knesset!

Stand up! Let your voice be heard! Ani veAtah Neshane et HaOlam! You and I will change the world!

-Michael and Patrick

(From the Jewish Federation of North America Website)

Issue Background:

As you know, The Jewish Federations of North America (JFNA) has articulated concern about a proposed bill in Israel’s Knesset amending Israel’s Law of Return. One proposed change could affect those who convert to Judaism after spending time in Israel, and potentially prevent them from immigrating under the Law of Return and gaining automatic Israeli citizenship. The bill also, for the very first time, gives the Orthodox Chief Rabbinate authority over conversions in Israel, something that could well alienate the 85% of North American Jews who are not Orthodox.

Representatives from JFNA and the Jewish Agency for Israel (JAFI) met this winter in the Knesset with the bill’s sponsor, MK David Rotem of the Yisrael Beiteinu Party, and delivered a concerted and forceful message that, as Diaspora Jewry’s representatives, we wish to engage in discussions on any such initiatives before the law is changed.

MK Rotem pledged no changes would occur without our consultation. Rotem and former Israel Ambassador to the U.S. Danny Ayalon later met with Diaspora Jewish groups in the U.S., including Ayalon with JFNA, to reiterate these promises.

This past week Rotem suddenly advanced a new, even more troubling amendment, without consulting with JFNA or JAFI. The new changes would give “authority” to the Orthodox-run Chief Rabbinate in Israel to carry out all conversions and says a convert can only be recognized if one “accepts the yoke of mitzvot according to halacha” (as defined by the Chief Rabbinate).

Since these developments occurred, our leadership told Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, Knesset leaders, and Rotem that these latest proposed changes would “drive a wedge” between Israel and the Diaspora and cause “significant damage” to the Diaspora-Israel relationship. JFNA and JAFI have delivered a strongly worded letter to this effect to the prime minister and have met with Knesset members this week to underscore that message.

These changes would potentially affect a broad swath of Diaspora Jewry, and also make a theological and ideological statement about the more liberal Jewish movements to which most Diaspora Jews belong. JFNA and JAFI have issued public statements to this effect and spoken out to the Israeli press.

While our leadership has been advocating in the halls of the Knesset, we need your help to send an even louder message to Prime Minister Netanyahu.

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Ask The Alterna-Rebbe: Jews and Organ Donation

What does Judaism say about organ donation? Is it permitted? Find out!

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Meet our Newest Project: 3xDaily.org

I would like to introduce you to a new project by PunkTorah: 3xDaily.org

3xDaily is a resource for Jews who want to begin building a practice that includes daily prayers. It there to show those who may be curious one version of how things can work, to ask questions, and to figure out if and how this could fit into theirs lives. The goal is to get people involved in their own spiritual lives, to take them back from those to whom they’ve handed them over, to wrestle with the big questions, to keep asking those questions, and to stand on their own feet.

Why? Because three daily prayers are something that I think the non Orthodox world are missing out on. When I first began reconnecting to my Jewish-ness, first with a number of Reform/Conservative/”Progressive” (and I use the term as loosely as possible), praying three times a day was almost never brought up. It was like “Oh, yeah, Jews used to pray three times a day and some still do…next question.” I look at Islam, where they also pray a number of times a day. If you ask people how may know a little about Islam, they immediately mention that they prayer five times a day. It is an important part of the religion that every Muslim, practicing or not, knows about. Praying three times a day is just as important to Judaism, it is something that we are supposed to do that has been neglected. What this can accomplish is to provide what Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi called a “Shabbat In Time”, a moment to stop, connect with the Creator, and refresh. To pause during the day and give thanks for what we have and to be inspired to work on our shortcomings.
Two of the things that I see holding back non-Orthodox Jews from praying three times a day are time and learning. A regular Shacharis  (morning) service can take an hour or two. We can take this idea of a morning service and bring it to where we are now. What are the necessities? What is it that we really should say? How long could that take? One version that we created takes about fifteen minutes in the morning. Great! If you have two hours to daven through the morning service, also great! Don’t like the version we created? Create your own! Make it meaningful. Otherwise you won’t do it. As for learning, the best way to learn is to do!

Prayer is important because it gives us an opportunity to connect with something bigger than us, and this thing that is bigger than us can mean many things. A Jew who believes in G-d can use the prayers to connect to the Creator. A Jew who may not believe in a literal “god-type” G-d can connect with something larger than themselves in connecting with Jews around the world, participating in tradition, in something that goes back to the time of the temple. Even connecting with those immediately around you in a group or minyan can be important, to form community. Prayer is also important because Jews are not “weekend religious” people. We are Jews all the time. The daily prayers exist to express this at all times. Secluding our “Jewish-ness” to Friday nights or Saturday mornings can limit our identity, or at least for me, not necessarily for everyone.
I think that “taking back” some of these things that are considered “orthodox” are important. These are things that are open to all Jews, and they should be able to participate in something important to our tradition. I would also argue that any Jew who considers themselves Jewish is observant, at least enough so to “observe” that they are Jewish. So in this way we can all participate. And the benefits are described above, we connect with something larger than us, the Creator, nature, community, tradition, and rest for a short period of time, a refuge form the world, if only for a few minutes.

Head over to 3xdaily.org! Take a look around! Try some things out! And let us know what you think!

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600,000 Letters: Disagreeing With The Torah

by Michael Sabani

Should you ignore something just because you don’t believe it? Can you still learn from it?

It was during a recent discussion with some friends about the Torah that I realized something that opened the Torah up for me almost completely.
We were discussing the different interpretations that one can have about things that happen in the Torah. I don’t want to get into specifics, but there was a questions as to what happened in a particular part of the story. Most everyone believed that one “counterculture” interpretation was true. In fact, they felt so strongly that it seemed they were almost offended to hear that a traditional or Midrashic interpretation could even be entertained. I was honestly kind of shocked. Not that they would entertain a view that doesn’t necessarily portray the patriarchs or matriarchs as saints because, let’s be honest, they weren’t! The issue I had was that they almost wouldn’t even listen, and when I did share, I felt like I was viewed almost as an anachronistic, ignorant, orthodox party pooper! And I most certainly am not!

What I learned is this:

We are a tradition full of ideas. You know that old saying, “three Jews, five opinions”. The thing is, when we hold on to one interpretation over another, when we almost outright refuse to listen to something from our own tradition that differs with what we want to believe, we are only cheating ourselves. In order to be informed, in order to be fully aware of what the Torah is trying to tell us, there has to be a balance. Just because you don’t like an idea, DOES NOT mean that you should run from it! Instead, embrace it! Look it right in the face and figure out exactly what you don’t like/believe about it. If, after you’ve listened you still don’t agree, GREAT! At least you learned something. And as people of the book we are called to always learn.

There is a saying from the sages that the Torah has 600,000 letters, and each represents one Jewish neshama, one Jewish soul. This means that there are as many ways to read the Torah as there are Jews who read it!

The sages also say that every letter of the Torah, down to the smallest yod ( ‘ ) is there to teach us a lesson. It would seem to me that in order to get the most out of the Torah, especially today, we should pay attention to even the smallest letters, especially when we disagree with it. Only through that friction can we release the Light, and only through that struggle can we brighten the world.

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