B"H

Perspective and Respect

Late night tonight, it’s almost 3am in California. It’s about 5 hours past my typical bedtime and I am up trying to work on my rough draft for my thesis. Yet, before I sleep I read about community members that need a little extra prayer for one reason or another. Childish as this seems at first, I read with skepticism, expecting to see gripes about bruised knees and sprained ankles. Quickly, I realize there are community members who need added prayer and a speedy recovery. I no longer am able to write my thesis chapter or shut my eyes… my perspective has just changed like a paradigm shift between shallow care and deeper meaning.

It seems that the prayers we say should not just be for those who are ill, but their loved ones as well. Is that not the true Jewish value? What is community if we pray for one’s physical welfare while their loved one is emotional suffering by watching? We should pray for both. Aren’t we all affected when someone is ill, dies, suffers? G-d forbid we understand their pain, that we’ve felt it. However, being the sick or watching a loved one be sick, still is suffering.

I find it painstakingly hard to stand in shul and say the name of the person I know who is ill. I am terrified my voice will crack, might I cry, am I so worried that someone might judge me, that someone might ask who the person is and why I have mentioned them as opposed to others. On PunkTorah, people seem to offer sentiments so freely. Maybe I am committing an aveyrah or not being the community member I wish to be.

Upon further reflection, I have decided to add to my list of thoughts and blessings not only the ones who directly suffer, but all parties involved. We are supposed to value life. Like Israel has recently demonstrated with Gilad Shalit, when one suffers, we unify and suffer together.

May our stories of pain and suffrage end on the note Shalit’s did. May we all find our way into the comfort of someone’s arms we love and may those who are in need of healing have the speediest of recoveries. May we as a community, no matter the size, understand that pain is not a trivial feeling of shallow distain, but of genuine discomfort. And may our understanding prove to be commentary that we as a people are constantly in prayer for those in need.

Again, for all those on our prayer list and for some who aren’t, may you find the comfort that is needed to handle these moments, may there be healing and may there be hope.

Be True to the Streets,
Yentapunker

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Of Prayers and Potholders


Courtesy of ufoadministration.blogspot.com

Most weekday mornings I hang out with a great bunch of guys. They are down to earth, come-as-you-are, non-judgemental and yet also passionate about and committed to their Judaism. They appreciate differences. They accept people for where they are in the Jewish spectrum.

They also pray like a heavy machinery auctioneer hopped up on a combination of Jolt Cola and 4 shots of triple-espresso.

By contrast (at least at this stage of my Jewish growth), my prayer is thoughtful and heartfelt. It is also halting, clumsy and slow.

Praying with these guys is an exercise in creative editing. I’ve learned that there are parts of the service I can skip. I’ve been told I can meditate on the theme of each bracha with intense kavannah, sending the avodah (work) of my heart heavenward like the sacrifices of old. And of course God speaks English, so I shouldn’t feel ashamed to do so as well.

Are you buying any of this? Cause I’m not. In real life, those sincerely-offered instructions equate to some prayers only half-said (because I have to jump ahead lest I become irrevocably lost), some prayed in jarringly-out-of-sync English, and moments when my “mediating on the theme” leaves me feel disconnected from the group, from myself and from God.

When you are surrounded by people all praying with confidence, fluency and familiarity – in Hebrew – it’s very very (did I mention “VERY”?) frustrating to be doing anything but.

I confided this to a Rabbi recently. “God knows what’s in your heart,” came the answer. “and no matter how insufficient you feel it is, you have to believe that it is cherished for what it is, coming from the person you are today.”

His words were less than comforting. I feel – quite acutely at times – that I am standing before my Creator, pouring out the best I have to offer, and it is an incomprehensible babble of half-uttered thoughts and disconnected ideas. I feel that God has asked for the intricate tapestry of my prayers, and I’ve shown up with a potholder.

I get it. I honestly do. My kids all made potholders at various grades in school (it must be part of the art curriculum). Each one is uniquely cute, funny and adorable. They were given with great ceremony and enthusiasm. They are cherished.

They are also useless, even as potholders. They are knotted, uneven, garish and full of holes. Very much, I fear, like my prayers.

My wife likes to knit. She makes intricate, useful and extremely gorgeous things. We’re talking people-on-the-street-offer-$200-for-the-sweater-off-my-back kind of gorgeous. I want my prayers to be like that.

I know that prayer – like life – is a process. It’s not a single product nor is it a race or a contest. I know that I’ll look back in a month or even just a week and realize that I have, in fact, improved. In my less whiny moments I recognize that it’s happened already, and (God willing) will continue.

I also have had chances to glimpse the journey of others, and take comfort in the knowledge that they weren’t simply born with a talent I lacked. Like me, they started learning on a particular day in their life, and that learning continued.

The other day, as we continued the (seemingly endless) work of unpacking ourselves into the new house, my wife pulled out a ratty, pinkish, mis-shapen square.

“It’s a potholder.” she explained. “I made it the day Grandma Hetti taught how me to knit.”

There may be hope for me yet.

Originally posted on The Edible Torah

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When You Have Nobody to Pray For

At some point during the Shabbat service there comes a moment when the leader stops and invites the congregation to speak the names of people in need of healing. The congregation, having heard those names, keeps those people in their thoughts as a prayer is spoken.

The prayer is the Mi Sheberach. It is based on a tersely worded entreaty to God by Moses himself – the shortest supplication recorded in Torah: “El na refa na la” (Please God, heal her now!”). It appears in Parsha Beha’alotcha, which we’ll read this comming Shabbat.

There is, of course, something every exposing about the whole process. I know people who would be horrified to know that they had been “outed” in this way.

I don’t believe the tradition developed as a way to satisfy the voyeuristic impulse. I believe that the mi sheberach is a communal experience. We say the names out loud and in the public of our chosen community so that everyone can know when someone needs support without the need for the suffer-er to ask people directly, or to have someone ask on their behalf.

This week, I realized that having this moment during the service accomplishes another important task: it’s a good indicator of how self-absorbed you are.

There are plenty of good reasons not to speak someone’s name: you know someone else is in the congregation is going to do it, you don’t know their Hebrew name and your congregation prefers it, etc. But even so, you have have a name in mind. Your intention is clear.

This week – as most weeks – I sat silently as those around me spoke the names of those they knew who needed healing. I marveled at the 3 people who each held a list of a dozen (or more) names to recite. And that’s when it struck me:

If you have nobody in your life who needs healing on some level; nobody in such a condition – whom you know well enough to want to say their name out loud in the congregation – then there are really only two explanations:

  • Either you are remarkably blessed to be surrounded by incredibly healthy people…
  • Or you are so wrapped up in your own life that you aren’t paying attention to those around you. You aren’t part of your community at all.

So… which is it, and what are you going to do about it?

Originally posted at EdibleTorah:

http://www.edibletorah.com/2011/06/10/when-you-have-nobody-to-pray-for/

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Support the New OneShul Community Siddur

Great news! The new OneShul siddur is ready for print!

This siddur contains new versions of the Shacharit, Mincha and Maariv service for personal and communal use. Kabbalat Shabbat has several sections, including a synagogue and home service for your friends and family, as well as Shabbat morning and Havdalah. Egalitarian, LGBTQ friendly and 100% independent, this siddur is both in English and Hebrew transliteration for people who seek tradition in an open way. As a bonus, the book also contains our Community Birkat Hamazon, Kabbalistic meditations as well as an expanded holiday section!

Pre-orders for the siddur are available until May 20th at 5PM EST.

$5.00 – Advance pdf version (emailed to you)

$18.00 – Advance printed version and .pdf version

+ Add $18.00 per additional copy. All advance orders include free shipping!

Donate via Paypal to receive your copy.

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Who Needs A Siddur Anyways?

A prayerbook is an interesting thing. It begs the question, how well can someone else’s words describe your inner feelings, your deepest needs and desires? Why do we even need a siddur anyways? Isn’t the point of prayer to talk to G-d, or whatever we call that awe-some power that is larger than ourselves?

If we allow ourselves to look at things from a different point of view we can see how we can benefit from a written liturgy.

While we have invited the members of our community to contribute new interpretations of standard liturgical pieces, new understandings of traditional blessings and prayers, we have attempted to maintain a particular sense of order in the creation of the daily service. The reason for this is because the daily services are crafted for a very specific purpose, to create a distinct experience that is a stark reflection of our spiritual journey throughout the day. The services are, in fact, both the map and the territory of a journey into the deepest realms of the spirit.

The order of the service was crafted by the sages to guide us through an experience that reflects the importance of communicating with the Source of Life. Taking us by the hand, the order of service walks with us, laying out a clear pathway to elevate our souls, to describe the madness and miracles we see everyday, and to give us words when our own fail us.

Starting at the beginning, the opening psalms energize us, they prime the pump of spirit, and help to fuel the engines of prayer that we need to journey deeper into the presence of the Holy One. Each successive prayer gives us new insight into our experience and draws us closer to the heights, symbolically ushering us through the sefirot, guiding our minds and hearts. We reach the apex of our journey, our approach to the Throne of Glory in the Shema and the Amida, the Standing Prayer. We have worked our way upwards the highest heights, reflecting on the oneness of the Universe and the relationship of a people and their essence, the liturgy giving us the words to express the inexpressible inside of us. The Aleinu gives us time to reflect and express our gratitude as we slowly descend in a meditative state, slowly backing down the ladder, en-wrapped in the Shekhinah, enmeshed in the ultimate and miraculous Oneness of Reality. Reciting psalms allow us to de-compress and release excessive spiritual energy, and to rest in reflection of the transformative nature of the prayers.

Does this mean we have to pray exactly as the Sages have written? No. We keep the map, but we need to discover the territory ourselves. This is why we have a community siddur. No one person can express what is in another person’s heart, but they can sometimes come close. If you feel drawn to some prayers in this or any other siddur, use them! If you feel that you need to use your own words, use them! I encourage you to write your own! But do not discard the resources from those who have been there before you.

Does this mean that we are always going to have a “magical” prayer experience? No, absolutely not. The order of the service is there to make sure we make the journey; it does the heavy lifting for us. All we have to do is to commit to the going. It is the doing that makes the difference. Judaism is a spiritual practice and not a “creedal” religion; it’s not about what you believe, it’s about what you do. Take a step, keep moving forward. Allow yourself to be changed, and you can change the world.

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Meet our Newest Project: 3xDaily.org

I would like to introduce you to a new project by PunkTorah: 3xDaily.org

3xDaily is a resource for Jews who want to begin building a practice that includes daily prayers. It there to show those who may be curious one version of how things can work, to ask questions, and to figure out if and how this could fit into theirs lives. The goal is to get people involved in their own spiritual lives, to take them back from those to whom they’ve handed them over, to wrestle with the big questions, to keep asking those questions, and to stand on their own feet.

Why? Because three daily prayers are something that I think the non Orthodox world are missing out on. When I first began reconnecting to my Jewish-ness, first with a number of Reform/Conservative/”Progressive” (and I use the term as loosely as possible), praying three times a day was almost never brought up. It was like “Oh, yeah, Jews used to pray three times a day and some still do…next question.” I look at Islam, where they also pray a number of times a day. If you ask people how may know a little about Islam, they immediately mention that they prayer five times a day. It is an important part of the religion that every Muslim, practicing or not, knows about. Praying three times a day is just as important to Judaism, it is something that we are supposed to do that has been neglected. What this can accomplish is to provide what Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi called a “Shabbat In Time”, a moment to stop, connect with the Creator, and refresh. To pause during the day and give thanks for what we have and to be inspired to work on our shortcomings.
Two of the things that I see holding back non-Orthodox Jews from praying three times a day are time and learning. A regular Shacharis  (morning) service can take an hour or two. We can take this idea of a morning service and bring it to where we are now. What are the necessities? What is it that we really should say? How long could that take? One version that we created takes about fifteen minutes in the morning. Great! If you have two hours to daven through the morning service, also great! Don’t like the version we created? Create your own! Make it meaningful. Otherwise you won’t do it. As for learning, the best way to learn is to do!

Prayer is important because it gives us an opportunity to connect with something bigger than us, and this thing that is bigger than us can mean many things. A Jew who believes in G-d can use the prayers to connect to the Creator. A Jew who may not believe in a literal “god-type” G-d can connect with something larger than themselves in connecting with Jews around the world, participating in tradition, in something that goes back to the time of the temple. Even connecting with those immediately around you in a group or minyan can be important, to form community. Prayer is also important because Jews are not “weekend religious” people. We are Jews all the time. The daily prayers exist to express this at all times. Secluding our “Jewish-ness” to Friday nights or Saturday mornings can limit our identity, or at least for me, not necessarily for everyone.
I think that “taking back” some of these things that are considered “orthodox” are important. These are things that are open to all Jews, and they should be able to participate in something important to our tradition. I would also argue that any Jew who considers themselves Jewish is observant, at least enough so to “observe” that they are Jewish. So in this way we can all participate. And the benefits are described above, we connect with something larger than us, the Creator, nature, community, tradition, and rest for a short period of time, a refuge form the world, if only for a few minutes.

Head over to 3xdaily.org! Take a look around! Try some things out! And let us know what you think!

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The Covenant (A Religion, or a Walk with HaShem?)

Produced by Joshua A. Kaplan

“What is the purpose of the covenant? Many fragmentary answers have been given in the tri-millennial & variegated history of Judaism, and perhaps only this much of a generalization is possible – that, located between Creation & Redemption, a Jew testifies to the reality of the first and the hope for the second. This testimony has a positive and a negative aspect. The positive is the possibility, unheard of prior to the advent of Judaism, of a mutual relation between G-d beyond the heaven of heavens and man on earth. The negative is against all the false gods – against idolatry.”

-Emil Fackenheim (1916-     ), [What is Judaism? New York: Simon and Schuster, Inc., 1987]

Most have forgotten that the Torah is a Walk with HaShem and not a religion. We have forgotten that the Torah requires us to walk and behave within and according to His commandments, statutes, decrees, and ordinances at all times. It tells us that these are eternally binding even to a thousand generations, and to discuss them with our children – when we walk on the way, when we sit down, when we retire and when we arise, and to live it out at the market and at the workplace. The Torah tells us, “And you shall love your brother as yourself.” (Lev. 18:19), it screams to us, “You shall surely pursue righteousness!” (Deut. 16:20) – yet we hate our brothers and pursue honor and filthy, unrighteous lucre. Thus, the hand of faith has been weakened. Most of the Nation has left the camp of the believers, for not many remain faithful; there are virtually no men of truth. Very little light that illuminates in this world of dark corruption.
Even so, that is exactly what the Torah is. It is a light to a dark world, as are those whom bear it’s truth. It’s purpose is to free mankind, and lead all toward total spiritual/physical perfection. Furthermore, it is HaShem’s covenant, made for all of humanity, which even rules and regulates the natural laws of the infinite and boundless Universe. Which means that the Torah is infinite, transparent to our soul [neshama], and is transcendently beyond the finite grasp of man. A very discerning & insightful man (Rabbi Marc Howard Wilson) once shared with me, these words of wisdom:
The finite may try to grasp the Infinite, though it is like taking a sip from a “Raging-Firehose”
Therefore, only the ALL-Transcendent One can give it’s true interpretation. Moreover, one must also keep in mind; as the covenant is eternal so is knowledge, wisdom, understanding, revelation, truth, and onward. These gifts [obtainable by man, only from G-d], as others like them, go on and on ad infinitum.
All are progressive. No one is absolute or exclusive.
Rather, all are one and all emanate from our One and Only who is magnanimous in all His deeds, and gives freely to all who would humbly beseech Him with a sincere heart. He is His Knowledge, He is His Wisdom, He is His Understanding, and He is His Truth [He is His “Light”]!!! Nevertheless, the questions remain. How does one successfully walk with The Most High? By what means can one who is finite receive true interpretation from The Infinite?
Is it merely enough to involve ourselves in study and absorption in prayer? How will we know and recognize when He has answered our cry, our petition, or request?

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Parshat Behar-Bechukotai

Parshat Behar-Bechukotai

In the beginning of this week’s Torah portion, G-d tells Moses that every seventh year, the Hebrews should let their land “rest”. No planting, harvesting, etc. Just leave it alone. And if the land has any produce, make sure to leave some your animals, slaves, hired workers and people who live with you. G-d wants the land to rest, because then it will “become fertile”. There is a sense, here, that human beings spoil the land through their work, and that nature needs to repair itself so that it can continue to grow.

Farmers cultivate the land with tools, and the result is the harvest. Similarly, prayers are used as tools to cultivate divinity, the result being a connection to something transcendent.

Maybe it makes sense, then, that there be a “Sabbatical time” from prayer. It’s great to say brachot, daven, meditate, etc. But maybe we need to just chill out and enjoy life, so that our spiritual “land” can replenish itself. Instead of worrying about all the brachot, the correct prayers for each moment of life, keeping tabs of the weekly Torah portion, etc., we sometimes need to just step back, go on autopilot, and take a break from “being, thinking and acting Jewish” to just “being” ourselves.

Even though we aren’t “cultivating” the spiritual land, we will still have plenty of spiritual “produce”. And we are commanded to share this with everyone! And what happens after the Sabbatical? Our spiritual land is fertile again, and we can get back to business as usual, refreshed and more bountiful than before.

Bottom line: even rabbis take a day off (and from what I understand, it’s usually Monday).

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Prayer Before Meals: Ha-Motzi

Barukh atah Adonai Elohaynu melekh ha-olam
ha-motzi lechem min ha-aretz.
(Amen)

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Tallit?

Wrap yourself in Hashem’s love with Tallit/Tallis! G_d acts as a mother, clothing us in her love. This video is brought to you by PunkTorah.org. Check us out at twitter.com/punktorah and also on Facebook!

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