Shabbat & Holidays

Parsha Bamidbar – The Age of War

May 22, 2015 By Russell McAlmond

Parsha Bamidbar is about the census of the people of Israel where the counting of all male Israelites started at the age of twenty. The age of twenty was considered to be the age at which a young male Israelite could go to war. The rabbis tell us that women weren’t counted because they were not warriors. Things have changed in a few thousand years.

In Israel today, young women are warriors and go into the military just as men do. In fact, Israel has had numerous women train as fighter pilots for the IAF (Israeli Air Force). Modern treatment of women as warriors has a good and bad side. It is good that women are treated as equals when it comes to defending their homeland. It is bad that women are subjected to the stress and danger of modern warfare. Warfare is not good for men or women, but as it says in the Tanakh (Ecclesiastes 3:1), “There is a time for everything.”

As a former US Marine, I can tell you that those who serve in the IDF and the US military are fervent believers in peace. When I was in Israel, I volunteered on an IDF military base near Tel Aviv and talked about this with the young men and women soldiers. They would like to get on with their lives and not have to serve their country by being in the military. Nonetheless, they serve because they love Israel, the Jewish people and they are willing to die to defend them. I have nothing but admiration for their dedication and service, as I do members of the US military as well.

As a proud member of the Jewish War Veterans, I want to thank all Jews for their service to their country and people. Shalom to all.

#ThowbackThursday: Converts, Cheesecake, and Other Reasons To Like Shavuot

May 21, 2015 By punktorah

My Letterman-style Top Ten Reason To Love Shavuot:

10. Cheesecake Brownies. It’s like shooting heroine and cocaine at the same time..only a lot healthier and legal. Dairy and Shavuot go hand-in-hand, and since I seldom eat meat this holiday glorifies everything I love that makes me fat.

9. You get to remember who Ruth is. Ruth is the national symbol of Jewish feminists. I kinda wish we read her megillah instead of Esther’s: instead of booing Hamen, we’d be applauding the Moabite.

8. Everyone stays up late studying Torah. Or just rockin’ the kiddush. If you’re an early to bed, early to rise type, just read our backlog of Shavuot articles.

7. Converts get some respect…for about six hours. On Shavuot, you’re the most Jewish person in the room…even if you were born with the name Christopher Jesusman. And converts are generally the only people who know what Shavuot is in liberal circles, so you get to feel like some kind of tzadik for your intense knowledge.

6. Work restriction. This year is the best because it falls middle of the week, then it’s over, then it’s Shabbat. It’s like taking a week off, since you mentally check out from work a day before any holiday anyway.

5. It has that kinda made-up feeling. Shavuot is a fairly minhag heavy holiday, in the sense that Ruth, studying and milchig is pretty much all there is to it and the rest is just customs to fill in the time. I like that because you never have to worry about doing the wrong thing on Shavuot. Hanukkah is like that, too.

4. Weird conversations. I like Shavuot chavrutah with eccentric people, because the combo of staying up late and heavy religious discussion always goes in strange directions: people passing out, talking in their sleep, stoner-like debates about whether or not Boaz’s foot was actually a foot or a euphemism for…ya know…the male part.

3. Energy drinks. When I was in the rockabilly punk band The Love Drunks, I used to slam energy drinks laced with vodka. I found the combination helped me stay up really late, and mellow out at the same time. I’m not into that kinda thing anymore, but Shavuot is my one time a year where I gorge myself on Red Bull.

2. The diversity of Jewish events. If you really want to pull an all day and all nighter, find a small child and force them to chaperone you to a Chabad family event. The ice cream sundaes are always incredible. In the afternoons you can generally find some JCC-type of place doing a late afternoon event catching after school/before dinner crowd, and then you can party with the grown ups all night.

1. The Torah!!!!!!!!!!! Come on, forget all that cultural junk. It’s all about the Torah, people.

Free Mishnah Classes at Darshan Yeshiva

April 13, 2015 By punktorah

Talmud study is ridiculously intimidating. But not anymore.

Darshan Yeshiva is now offering a seven-part Intro to Mishnah class, a great way to get started in Talmud study. With seven podcasts and thirteen handouts, students will gain a sense of what the Mishnah is all about, thanks to the thoughtful approach by Lex Rofes, who provided the content for this class series.

Best part? The Mishnah class is part of Advanced Jewish Studies which is only $5/month and has a 14-day free trial. So yeah, you can basically take this class for free if you cancel before 14 days.

PunkTorah’s Virtual Mishloach Manot

March 3, 2015 By punktorah

Every Purim we give mishloach manot, little goodie bags filled with cookies, candies, airplane bottles of booze…you know, whatever you are into.

Unfortunately, an online community doesn’t have virtual mishloach manot. And while 3D printers can do amazing things, we haven’t managed to find one that can bake the perfect poppyseed hamentaschen from digital schematics.

So instead, we offer you this grab bag of of favorite Purim treats on PunkTorah. And since giving tzedakah is part of the Purim experience, we hope you’ll give a suggested $18.00 donation to support all our hard work providing Jewish community to over 300,000 people every year.

Recipes

Almond Hamentaschen Recipe

Learning

Kid Friendly Feminist Purim Lesson Plan

Adar: Food As Transformation

For Kids

Paper Plate Hamentaschen and Purim Masks

Other Fun Stuff

Purim Shpiel with Ketzirah

If You Only Come To Shul Twice A Year

Adar: Enter the Purim Shpiel

March 3, 2015 By Ketzirah

Yes — it’s time for Purim! Who doesn’t love Purim? They tried to kill us, they failed, we kicked their @$$ to the 7th generation — LET’S PARTY!!!!

Over on my own site, I waxed poetic (and ritual) about the hamantaschen. Over at , you can find some great hamantaschen recipe. Here at PunkTorah — I want to talk Purim Shpiel. Next to Passover, Purim is one of our most accessible and fun holidays and like Passover, it’s also serious. The Purim Shpiel is the tradition of doing a humorous play that mocks our enemies. Jews do love comedy, after all.

For years, I threw a killer Purim Shpiel at my house. I just called it a Purim party — but it was all the same. It’s amazing how awesome a party where everyone gets lit and acts out the bible while I read it can be. It was also always a huge opportunity for learning. I always read the JPS translation — and all the way through.

When we hit the end one year, my sister started to yell that I was making up the part where we slaughter Haman’s extended family. She didn’t remember that from Purim as a child. A HUGE debate ensued about this and whether or not they actually read the whole Megillah at our childhood synagogue and how this changed our impression of the holiday.

But seriously — when can you read the bible to people without seeming creepy? It’s awesome!

Here’s how I do it. I have some props that are for each main character and either asked friends who wanted to be whom, or in the true spirit of Purim, had them draw lots for parts. If people were unfamiliar with the characters, I would do a quick explanation. Everyone who didn’t play a part, had groggers and other noise makers — plus they got to drink.

Then I just start reading, and my friends act out any interpretation of what I’m saying they like. I can assure you, we had some fascinating interpretations going. I remember a prissy, pissy french Haman. One time it turned out the hidden story was that Haman was jealous of Vashti’s awesome gold/velvet stole. And well, Esther bowing before the King’s “golden scepter” lead to a not so family friendly interpretation of how Esther saved her people….

This year — invite your friends over and read the bible to them. Read the whole Megillah — word for word. Drink — you are obligated by Jewish law to eat, drink and be merry. Seriously — this is the only holiday where you are obligated to have fun. Take the opportunity to see what you can learn from the reveling and topsy-turvy experience of Purim.

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Ketzirah is a Kohenet, Celebrant, and Artist. She works with individuals and groups to explore, discover, and create meaningful rituals and ritual artwork to mark moments in life.

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