Parsha Behar (Leviticus 21:1 – 26:2)

1. Dominion, There Comes A Time. . .

Behar discusses how Hashem wants the land of His creation to be cultivated and managed. The first part in this week’s double portion establishes rules for farming and land “ownership.” Just beneath the surface a deeper current is flowing and that is the inevitable time when we must recognize our role and place in this world. The classless and environmental sustainability commandments for land management are given to a nomadic people before entering Zion as a lesson in self realization. We all must come to terms with where we as an individual are as a person and as part of a people. We can only grow closer to being a more complete Jew and selflessly performing Tikun Olam by accepting that there is a time when we must recognize the role we play in our families, our communities, and within Hashem’s creation. There may be times in our lives when we flourish financially and other times when we struggle just to survive on the most bare subsistence level, we are created beings living in a created world that has existed for a very long time. Hashem may have granted us the privilege of Dominion but we remain created in a way where we cannot live without each part of creation playing its unique role. The time for that realization and awakening is now.

Parsha Bechukotai (Leviticus 26:3 – 27:34)

1. Heads or Tails

Bechukotai is a dire warning from Hashem. If you are anything like me you have noticed that Leviticus is like watching a coin flipping its way up and then down before reaching its final resting place in your hand. No more is this true than in the final chapters of Torah’s third book. The beginning chapter of this week’s second portion deals with cause and effect. Hashem stresses the importance of living a righteous and loving life the reward if you do so is prosperity and happiness, but if you do not the flood gates of despair will open. In just one chapter the key to what everyone wants (good health, a safe home, a clean environment, and family) is given juxtaposed against the punishments for not keeping the commandments (famine, disease, violent death, and cannibalism). Levitical law is something many detractors use to argue against organized religion and that’s easy to do when you only look at every other chapter or in other words just one side of the coin.

2. Taxation Without Representation
Leviticus ends in a way that seems almost anti climatic. Bechukotai ends with of all things tax code related. Almost as a reminding nod towards commandment keeping and what will befall the Jewish people for not heading Hashem’s ideal for a perfect Jewish life, Torah’s third book ends with who must provide what for each offering.

Jeremiah@punktorah.org Twitter: @circlepitbimah

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In this modern age we do not live in a tribal nomadic society drawn from ethno-religious lines. Jews can be found living just about everywhere in the world and our racial features are literally across the board. While we are all Jews our Jewish stories vary widely but this was not the case thousands of years ago. For example, if I were to be in an accident caused by another which resulted in the lose of an eye I do not want that person’s eye I would rather have my medical bills and any special needs taken care of financially. Because of the place and time an ancient Hebrew in the same situation was not in a position where monetary retribution for pain and medical treatment could easily happen.
Retribution is about making wrongs right not feeding a craving for vengeance.

While reading this week’s portion I’m reminded of something that happened to a very close friend of mine, we will call him H. In our hometown there was a punk infused heavy metal band associated with a large Born-Againer Christian Church. The metal fans in the area really weren’t into their style of metal and the local punks weren’t into their style of hardcore, this meant there fan base were only fellow congregants.

H gets invited to a birthday party where this band is booked to play, now H is not a Christian nor is he extremely religious he’s a mild mannered tattoo artist who finds solace chanting the Maha Mantra at the local Hare Khrisna farm. He shows up at this kid’s house and the place is full of people from this church, from small kids all the way to middle aged adults. As he told me this story he pointed out how uncomfortable he felt from basically being eye ball judged because of his heavily tattooed appearance.

As the band plays the chorus to one of their songs the word restitution is screamed in regards to J.C.’s crucifixion this causes something inside H’s head to snap and he reacts. As the chorus nears a second time H runs towards the make shift stage parting the sea of people in half, reaching out he grabs the mic, places his mouth over it and as clear as the moon on a cloudless summer night yells PROSTITUTION! Needless to say if looks could kill. . . kill they would have.

As an opened minded Jew I found H’s proclamation hilarious and while not blasphemous towards Judaism it is towards Christianity. Despite being in an enclave of the “saved” no one had a right to stone or burn H. In our society we can afford disinters because we are not nomadic, our resources are stable, and because of education it is harder for a rabble rouser to seriously challenge the moral and religious belief system that makes and keeps us Jewish.

In what other ways has the passing of time changed societies views on restitution? Leave a comment below or send me a message.

Jeremiah@punktorah.org Twitter: @circlepitbimah

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But wait, as the infomercials say, there’s more!

There’s the white cane perched in its holder on the side of my wheelchair.
There are my hearing aids, which are different colors right now because I
like to go for a little variety every time one of them needs repairs.
There’s the close-focusing telescope I use to read. And there is, of
course, the simple conspicuousness of being a newcomer. It can make one
nervous enough to want to scurry back home and hide under the bed.

But I didn’t stay home under the bed. I showed up. And it takes a lot of
extra work to show up. I need to first find a synagogue on a side of Los
Angeles that most Jewish people left fifty years ago, and comb through its
website for clues about its culture and whether I might feel comfortable
there. I need to look into public transportation, to see whether I can get
there in fewer than three hours and make the necessary bus transfers, which
has its own logistical challenges for someone who has about half of one
percent of normal vision. I need to spend time looking at Google Street
View to get an idea of how I might recognize the building since I can’t see
signs or address numbers, and to check out whether it’s accessible to people
who use wheelchairs. I know that sounds like something a phone call could
tell me, but everyone has a different idea of what accessibility means, and
“only three steps up to the door” counts to a surprising number of people.
I bring my own kippah because I probably won’t be able to find the communal
box, so that’s one less thing to worry about.

Those are logistical challenges, though, and those–if I can work around
them–are routine. What really makes me nervous is being a newcomer. Is
the siddur a familiar one? Was I paying enough attention this morning to be
sure that my socks match? What can I do to appear more friendly than
nervous?

Everyone needs community, and nobody finds it easy to enter into a new one,
even when they’re friendly, and even when people are open and welcoming.
It’s inherently awkward. It’s also worthwhile to go out on that limb. A
new person is saying, with their presence, “It’s important to me to be
here.”

For me, though, there are extra things I need to be ready for. Consider
kiddush snacking. One does not turn down food among Jews, but a buffet line
is about the most inaccessible thing I can think of for someone who can’t
see what’s there, much less find a plate to put it on and then balance on
one’s lap because one’s hands are occupied with maneuvering one’s chair.
The obvious answer would be to ask for help, but there my ears become an
issue. Hearing aids can’t correct hearing losses in the way glasses can
correct minor vision losses. In noisy situations, their function is largely
decorative. And this is why I wear colorful ones: if someone speaks to me
and I appear to ignore them, I hope they catch sight of the hearing aids so
they realize I’m not being rude. Many people with hearing losses can
compensate visually to some extent–by seeing that someone is trying to make
eye contact, for instance–but that’s not something I can do.

Here we all are, a room full of nice people with good intentions, wanting to
connect, to introduce ourselves, and we can’t. They don’t necessarily
understand what the barriers are, and I can’t explain them, nor do I really
want to. I don’t want to talk about disability; I want to say hello, to
tell them my name and learn theirs, to chat a little bit about their
community, the parshah, the weather–anything!

I remind myself that I didn’t come for the kiddush. My real goal is to be
there, among people, looking pleasant. When the crowd starts to thin, I
might be able to pick out individual voices and join conversations. I might
be able to ask about community events that I’d have an easier time with,
like adult education classes, where only one person speaks at a time and I
don’t have to worry about moving around once I’ve found a place to sit. I
might find out about what sorts of volunteer opportunities there are in the
community. I might even be able to connect with one person or family, and
that, too, is community.

These are specific examples from one person’s experience. It’s been a bit
of a rough road to travel, and I’ve put a lot of thought into what could
make it smoother, not just for me, but for the larger goal of people
connecting with each other when they don’t quite know how to reach out.
People can tell immediately that I’m fairly unusual, but that’s true of all
of us. The only real difference is that some of what makes me unusual is so
immediately apparent, while with other people, it may take some time to see
how they stand out.

I have compiled the following off-the-cuff list of things I would want
people to think about as they approach people with disabilities in their
communities. I think many of these things apply to any new person entering
any community. The details will vary, so please trust your own good
intentions, wisdom, and experience.

1. Start with what you have in common, and branch out from there.

You don’t have to agonize over your words; just start with “Hello.” When I
was in college, I took a lot of linguistics courses, and I learned that the
essential meaning of the word “hello” is, “I’m aware of your presence, and
I’m not hostile.” There’s no more welcome message to a newcomer than
“hello.”

Sometimes, people in Jewish settings avoid talking about Jewish topics
because they don’t want to get involved in the micropolitics and contentious
categories that can be a source of internal division among Jews. That’s
understandable, and there are plenty of other good topics that can open a
conversation. I mentioned earlier that I’m happy when people talk about the
weather. Why? Because one thing two strangers in the same place can be
sure they have in common is the weather.

Try to avoid using disability as a topic to open a conversation. When we
meet someone we see as noticeably different from ourselves, we find the
difference interesting, and we’re naturally curious. This can be a source
of stress to a person who is often approached around the ways they’re
obviously not like other people. Disability isn’t taboo, but there are
better and easier starting points, because it feels more comfortable to
begin with something that can bring us together rather than something that
defines us as different. I will add the specific caution that trying to
relate to someone around disability, while often well-intended, often sets
people farther apart: many people try to relate to my experience by saying
that they “can’t see a thing” without their glasses, or that they used a
wheelchair for a week after an injury, and this only emphasizes to me how
different our experiences have been. My disabilities are a lot more
interesting to other people than they are to me; for me, this is just daily
life, and I’d rather talk about something I find more interesting.

When other people focus heavily on my disability, I feel as if they’re not
allowing room for me to have more going on in my life than that. For
example, I have a master’s degree in library science, and I worked for
several years in public libraries, which has given me some funny stories to
tell. I also love to knit, and maybe that’s a point of connection. If I’m
answering a lot of questions about my disability, I can’t get to those other
things, nor can I ask about another person’s interests. That’s a loss to
both of us.

2. It’s not up to you to figure out what will be most helpful to someone
else.

Many people want to be helpful and don’t know how. They’re also nervous
about offering, because different people have very different reactions, some
more or less friendly (or even civil) than others. I can only speak for
myself. I’m never offended to be offered help, unless it’s offered in a
patronizing sing-song voice, and even then, what offends me is being talked
to like I’m three years old, not the offer of help. If I don’t need
anything, I’ll smile and decline and thank a person for having offered, and
I’ll consider it friendly contact.

Even an offer that is not specifically needed can be helpful, because it
lets me know that a person is willing to help, and that eases the way for me
to say, “I’m all right with this, but would you please help me with that
instead?” Often I just need to ask for information, like where I can put my
plate down. I’m much more willing to ask for help from someone I know is
interested in giving it.

You might also feel as if you should wait to offer help until you see
something specific that’s needed, because you’re afraid that an offer that’s
not specific might appear less sincere. Specific offers are great, but not
necessary. And if you’re offering help because you’re not sure what else to
say, you can just say “Hello.” I want my interactions with people to be
about more than just giving or receiving help, so those simple things
matter.

The most important thing is that you are expressing good will. A person
might or might not need you to put that into a more concrete form, and you
can trust them to let you know what they need.

3. Try not to think in terms of “special needs.”

This is more about how we think about people than how we talk about people.

By describing people as having “special needs,” we unintentionally set the
relationship off-balance. All people have needs, and all people have
something to offer. People accommodate each other all the time, so it’s
often a matter of which things we pay attention to. As much as curb ramps
are accommodations to people who use wheelchairs, streets are accommodations
to people who use cars. There are more people who use cars, so we don’t
think of streets as special accommodations for them. The point is that
singling out one group of people as being about “needs” is a raw deal for
everyone.

4. Accessible communities are good for everyone.

When communities think about how to become more accessible to specific
people, the changes they make often benefit more people than anticipated. A
familiar parallel serves as a good example: people with disabilities had to
work for many years to convince Congress pass laws to require ramps in more
places. Many business owners had argued vigorously that there was no need
for ramps because people who use wheelchairs didn’t visit their businesses.
Now that ramps are in so many more places, they are also considered
essential by parents with strollers, and just look at the rolling backpack
industry. (This also illustrates the earlier point about the narrowness of
defining people in terms of “special needs.”)

Changes do not need to be big or expensive in order to make important
differences. This can be as simple as making different choices when light
bulbs need to be replaced. People do not need to have certifiable vision
impairments to benefit from better lighting.

If the community’s approach is that changes are made inclusive of disability
considerations, rather than with a grudging “compliance” mentality, the
atmosphere is healthier, and people are drawn to a good atmosphere. A
community that makes itself more actively open, even before a specific need
arises, will likely find that more people want to get involved.

5. If one thing doesn’t work, another might.

Not everything will work for everybody. Kiddush kibitzing will never be a
really accessible activity for me. Plenty of other things will work,
though, like classes, small group meetings, or volunteer opportunities.
That is true of everyone in a community, for various reasons–schedules,
personalities, finances, family situations. Each person has places where
they shine, and places where their particular abilities have less scope to
come out. If you see someone and aren’t sure where they might fit in, just
let them know that you would like to see them involved in the community.
People might not know where they fit or where they do best, but they can try
different things. The vital thing is that they know that they are wanted in
the community. People are motivated to give when they know that what they
have to give is valued.

6. If you say the “wrong” thing, it’s not the end of the world.

Finally, sometimes we just put our feet in our mouths. The only way to
avoid that is to talk through clenched teeth all the time. If our general
warmth, respect, and appreciation for people are clear on an ongoing basis,
then it’s much easier to move past missteps. I know that some people aren’t
sure how to approach me, but I would feel sad to know that someone doesn’t
speak to me because they’re so afraid of saying the “wrong” thing. Who
among us doesn’t have a long list of awkward things we’ve said? The most
important thing is to start a conversation. I’d rather work through the
occasional hiccup than miss an entire friendship.

This has been a thoroughly incomplete list of the ways communities can reach
out to new people. It is not a checklist of ways you should make sure you
are “doing enough.” Instead, I hope it highlights familiar things in new
ways and helps you to recognize that you are already doing a lot of what it
takes to welcome new people into your communities.

Written by Jeremy Congdon 

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I get the feeling that Jewish holidays were developed by drunk rabbis throwing darts at a dartboard with words like “etrog”, “no leaven” and “bows and arrows” written on them. Had the inebriated rabbis thrown differently, we’d have holidays like Yom Lag Ba’Chanukkah, which includes repenting our sins while throwing menorahs at your fireplace.

Lag B’Omer (aka Lag BaOmer aka Lag LaOmer) is basically a break in the Counting of the Omer. Like someone on a diet taking a day off to eat a Double Down from KFC, Lag B’Omer gives people a chance to chill out from the mournful, contemplative time between Passover and Shavuot.

There’s some good reasons for it. Apparently in the time of Rabbi Akiva, 24,000 of his students died in a mysterious plague. Lag B’Omer was the day the plague ended, so why not celebrate?

Jews love camp and eating, so it makes sense that Lag B’Omer would involve picnics and bonfires. But really, Lag B’Omer symbolizes something really important that all people can get behind: sometimes, you just need a break.

I’m not talk about a Shabbat break. That’s not a real break: that’s a break from doing fun things to do holy things (that are sometimes fun, too). This is a break that doesn’t involve whacking your head against the wailing wall saying my favorite Jewish phrase, “they tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat.”

Sometimes fun needs to just be fun. Thank G-d for that.

And since I’m a fan of “laggin” on Lag B’Omer, here’s an old Lag B’Omer video. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-3lCiaKy_o

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Adam Yauch, rapper in the pioneering hip-hop group the Beastie Boys, has died at the age of 48 from cancer. Yauch had been sick since 2009, after the discovery of a tumor in his salivary gland.

All over the internet, music fans are reposting articles about his tragic illness and death, as well as the incredible contribution he made to music and human rights, especially the cause of the Tibetan people.

And that’s where we hit a bump in the road: do we say Mourner’s Kaddish tonight for Adam, who left Judaism for Buddhism?

Some people believe “once a Jew, always a Jew” (see the Chabad picture above as evidence). But in the case of Yauch, is that really true? Yauch was definitely a Buddhist…and not in a meditate-then-drink-a-beer kind of way. He took it very seriously and frankly, in many circles, is know more for founding the Milarepa Fund than License To Ill.

Here at PunkTorah, we make a point of creating mourner’s kaddish YouTube videos when prominent Jewish people die. But in Yauch’s case, would that have been the right thing to do? Yauch was a Buddhist and we want to respect the fact that this is the spiritual path he took. We have no judgements of that. Would we then be judged if we made a YouTube video with the kaddish overlaying a simple hip hop beat? Would this be us Bible bashing Yauch’s choice to convert? We didn’t want to go there…so we wrote this article instead.

Either way, Yauch was an incredible musician, philanthropist and activist, and we send our condolences to his family. May his memory be a blessing.

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The epic fantasy miniseries by Rivkah Raven is back with two new chapters from Steampunk Torah, a re-imagined series of Jewish midrashim (legends) based on the parshah of the Torah.

Never read Steampunk Torah? Catch up on what you’ve missed by reading the archives!

Download the next two chapters, Chayei Sarah and Toldot by clicking the links below.

Chayei Sarah

Excerpt: Varya Leangrin did not do her own carrying. She had others do the work: Jac and Mari were bundled with sheets over their heads, tied very thoroughly with silk cords binding their arms to their sides, and made towalk; Varya had pressed some of the citizens of the Lost Kingdom into her service by assuring them that they were doing a good deed, that this was for the women’s own health. Jac did not walk silently; she lectured Varya, scolded her, harangued her, her language growing increasingly “purple” as they moved toward the professor’s workshop tower.

Toldot

Excerpt: Mari turned to Jac with a joyful smile. “Jac, this is Professor Malone.”

Jac had whirled back to the door as it closed, slamming her hand on the thick oak as she heard the key turn in the lock. She bowed her head for a second, then she straightened and turned back to enter the room. “Professor, my upbringing demands that I say ‘nice to meet you,’ but what I really want to say is: Is there a way out of this room? What avenues have you explored?”

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Parsha Acharei Mot (Leviticus 16:1 – 18:30)

1. You Say Yom KipPER, I Say Yom KipPOOR

I really like the sixteenth chapter of Leviticus and in a way I wish Acharei Mot was . . .you know “my portion” (I was born in November no such luck). In this chapter lots are cast to decide which animals are sacrificed and which animals are let loose into the wild for atonement. Oh and before I forget, this is the Yom Kippur part of the Torah. In a previous Dvar I mention how I became a zealous atheist at the age of thirteen which lasted until the ripe old age of twenty-two. I only bring this up again because Yom Kippur was the first mitzvah I kept after returning to the rank and file of our tribe and despite my views on animal sacrifice Acharei Mot remains very important to me.

2. Blood Free Youth.

In my notes for this section of Acharei Mot I have scribbled “quote chapter seventeen verse fourteen and be done with it.” It’s a great verse look it up, read it, and meditate on it, but this part is all about keeping Kosher, a blood free palate and more importantly promotes compassion. How can we as Jews and as a “Priestly People” promote the dignity and respect so inherent within our faith when we insist on picking and choosing what needs Tikkun Olem. Remember its repair the world, not repair the markets or an inflated sense of self worth. What we put inside of ourselves, whether its something physical like food or an ideological concept, will in turn emanate from us through our thoughts and actions.

3. No Harm No Foul.

Controversy! It goes without saying incest is not alright but is consensual male homosexuality really a sin, and what about female homosexuality? Look. . . .some real talk. . . I think the Torah’s wording in regards to homosexuality is presented in a way which allows for same sex relationships. Relationships of all types are complicated and narrowing everything down to a few lines here and there is never going to encapsulate every aspect of every relationship. I wish I had more to offer on this subject and on one hand I’m proud that I am not homophobic but on the other hand as a hetero its something I really don’t think about that often. Please feel free to discuss in the comments or send me a private message.

Parsha Kedoshim

1. Representative Eric be a CANtor not a CAN’Tor.

In this country, this country that I live in it is an election year. This means in November I will vote for candidates who feel the same way I do about issues important to me and against candidates that stand for issues important to people whose views I disagree with. Why is this important? Glad you asked Kedoshim is two chapters the first of which (being first makes it more important at least in my opinion) Hashem provides commandments to protect the earth, those less fortunate, and indirectly opposes classism. Sure, there is some stuff in there about getting tattoos, beard shaving, and ghost whispering but the fact remains the same Hashem wants us to occupy the world with justice, compassion, and equality.

2. Manifest Zion.

No two people are alike and Hashem knows this because that’s how He created us. Kedoshim concludes with some warnings and corporeal punishment commandments making this now complete portion appealing to both sides of the aisle. As an American living in the southwest it’s a little hard to think that the Navajo and Pueblo nations who first inhabited New Mexico were wicked and that’s why this area is now part of the United States of America (fun fact: not only is Albuquerque the city I call home but our first two mayors were Jewish, in fact Jews and New Mexico have a long and fruitful relationship going back to the mid 1800s). While I might have problems reconciling this concept others seem to truly understand it and are glad to be part of a nation who has helped de-wickedify (new word?) tyrannical regimes hoarding prosperity from everyone except themselves.

Jeremiah@punktorah.org Twitter: @circlepitbimah

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Click here to play or check us out on iTunes.

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With that in mind we’re going to focus here not on the details of the practice, but rather on the innovative and awesome Omer Calendars people have created to help take this practice out of the ethereal and intellectual and move it to the physical and embodied realm!

Counting the Omer: Quick Primer
The practice began as a 49 period of counting the barley harvest: an omer is a measure of barley.  Over the centuries it has transformed into a 49 day period of introspection, which uses the kabbalistic “sephirot” or emanations of G!d/dess as daily and weekly spiritual themes.

For those that want more on the practice first, here’s some links to great primers on Counting the Omer.

• Ritual Well: Counting the Omer
• NeoChasid: Counting the Omer
• My Jewish Learning: How to Count the Omer
• Chabad: Counting the Omer
• Wikipedia: Counting the Omer

Omer Calendar Styles
Just like everything else in Judaism there are Omer Calendars for every possible affinity and style.  Omer calendars mostly fall into one of three categories (abacus, page a day, workbook) and over on Pinterest I’ve created a PinBoard of tons of different ones you can explore.

Think about each style and how they might best fit your spiritual needs for counting the omer.  Matching the right kind of calendar to your style can make all the difference in adopting a new practice like this.

Style 1: Abacus
The abacus style of omer calendars really work just like an abacus.  They allow you to tick of the days and see both the theme of the day, and also the past and the future.  Some are very literally like an abacus, like this stunning Omer Calendar created by artist Susan Duhan Felix. This is probably one of the clearest examples of the abacus style.  Others fall into a more subtle reference to an abacus like this “perpetual calendar” from the Museum of Tolerance. To assure you that not all Omer Calendars have to cost a fortune, check out this kid-friendly DIY abacus style one from Amy Meltzer.

Style 2: Page-a-Day
To understand the page-a-day style, just think of a page-a-day calendar.  You only see the day you are on, and when that day is over you rip off the page to reveal the next day.  I can see this being super satisfying for a lot of people. A lot of digital Omer Calendars follow this style.  Take the Omer Calendar Widget from NeoChasid.org as a good example. With this widget you only ever see today.  Some just tell you what day you are on, and others will include a daily meditation.  This very traditional olive wood calendar, is a great example of this style that is not confined to the digital realm.

Style 3: Workbook
The third style, could be seen as an aspect of the “page-a-day,” but what differentiates it is that it’s really more of a workbook for spiritual growth.  It’s intended to be engaged and interacted with, not just read or observed.  The “A Spiritual Guide To Counting The Omer” by Rabbi Simon Jacobson is probably one of the best known examples.  I’ve even made an attempt at creating my own version of an Omer Workbook. These workbook styles offer information, and above all ask questions for the reader to engage with.

Within these three basic styles are thematic Omer calendars to fit every possible taste and style; from RK’Jill Hammer’s Omer Calendar of Biblical Women to the Homer Calendar. There is even a whole website dedicated to Omer Calendars and creativity around them.

Questions for You!
So, what style appeals to you?  What is your favorite thematic calendar?  I hope you’ll share your favorites in the comments for the whole community!

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Ketzirah is a Kohenet, Celebrant, and artist.  She works with individuals and groups to explore, discover, and create meaningful rituals and ritual artwork to mark moments in life.

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PunkTorah has always been a promotional supporter of the Atlanta Jewish Music Festival. And we’re thrilled to announce the upcoming arrival of AJMF’s 3rd Annual Atlanta Jewish Music Festival (May 9-13, 2012), with five days of fresh Jewish music, including concerts (5/10 and 12), an open mic night (5/9), a Shabbat service (5/11) and a Klezmer workshop (5/13, full details here).

Tickets are now on sale and for the first time ever, AJMF is offering a Festival Pass, which admits you to all five events (5/9-13/2012) for one convenient ticket price ($30 or 25% off retail).

Hope to see you in May!! Click the flyer above to learn more!

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Parsha Tazri (Leviticus 12:1 – 13:59)

1. Of Babies and Women.

This week’s double shot of Torah begins with what a girl has to do in order to be deemed ritually clean after giving birth and then quickly moves on to discuss, once again, the rite of circumcision. When all is said and done I think us guys made out like bandits, I can’t remember my circumcision but my mom definitely remembers carrying and giving birth to me.

2. Desert Zombies From You Know Where.

Towards the end of the twentieth century I was a lowly high school senior trying to learn a little espanol. One day in class I turn in my seat towards my friend who was sitting on the other side of the room and in a very matter of fact way pointed out that because he was not circumcised he was unclean. Not only did that statement earn me a one way ticket to the Vice Principle’s office I was also assigned a personal escort, she was a cute girl named Tara. After sitting in the teacher’s lounge for a couple periods the Vice Principle came out and read the teacher’s note describing my concerns for my gentile friends Biblical status of uncleanliness. He looked at me and I just looked back like I truly did not know making that proclamation was not appropriate for a Spanish class in a public high school. He totally bought my defense, apologized for keeping me for two full periods and sent me on my way. The I don’t know any better excuse does not work in the world of Judaism because we have all the does and do not’s laid out for us in Torah and Tazri is a perfect example of this.

Parsha Metzora (Leviticus 14:1 – 15:33)

1. Calling Doctor Aaron

If that skin crawling feeling is your thing then Metzora is the portion for you…literally. In Metzora Aaron and the priests are given an additional task. This task by today’s standards is akin to dermatology. It was the duty of the priests to examine skin conditions and then declare the afflicted clean or unclean. The unclean verdict resulted in the sufferer exiling themselves for one full week and on the seventh day a follow exam would take place and a new judgment would be given. As someone whose skin is extremely allergic to poison ivy exiling yourself actually eases some of the discomfort, go figure.

2. Dirty Words

Metzora finishes with a discussion about certain states of sexual dirtiness. For women the seven days concluding their monthly menstrual cycle are deemed unclean and women are told to refrain from sex and to withdraw from society until a new cycle begins. Since us men do not have periods our uncleanliness can happen at any time we are told to clean ourselves of any spilled seed. Some may say this is a good example of sexism in the Torah and I can kind of see where that point of view comes from on the other hand I am not a big fan of blood but I am a big fan of taking showers. I don’t know, what do you all think?

Jeremiah@punktorah.org Twitter: @circlepitbimah

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I am going to make a startling statement, but I believe it is true. I believe that for many in the Jewish community, the worship of God has been replaced with a worship of academia. And I have a sense that instead of directing our hearts at the Divine, we direct our hearts instead at substitutionary idols like Jewish continuity and education-for-the-sake-of-nothing.

I don’t blame any one group or person for this. Rabbis aren’t to blame. Institutions are to blame. But a system wide epidemic is to blame. I call this collective social disease Meritocracy.

Meritocracy, in its simplest explanation, is the belief that those who have achieved the greatest amount of merit are the ones who should lead. On the outside, this makes a lot of sense. Why would you want someone who doesn’t know anything and hasn’t accomplished anything to become a leader? It sounds like the antidote to all the things we hate: inherited leadership, financial oligarchy, etc.

The problem is this: how do we measure merit? Judaism has some interesting insights into this.

God chooses people to lead, and not because they are especially meritous. Noah was a “righteous man in his time” (Genesis 6:9). Rabbis of old thought this was a bit of a “stab” at Noah. Remember, the whole world is about to be destroyed for being evil. Noah wasn’t righteous. He was righteous for his time. He was good enough, given the world he lived in.

The same is true for Moses. Midrash Exodus Rabbah 2:2 says that God picked Moses to lead the Hebrews because he was a shepherd. He cared for his father in law Yitro’s animals and the kind of qualities that brings out in a person, such as love, patience and leadership, are the kinds of values that a hero needs. Moses was otherwise a murdering stutterer who often rebuked God and suffered from wild anger and bouts of depression.

There are many other examples of this. King David was such an unlikely candidate for leader that when the prophet Samuel asked Jesse to bring his sons so that God could decide through Samuel who should be the next king, David was not even included. When Samuel questioned Jesse how many sons he had (since God didn’t want any of his other songs), Jesse seemed confused. He says something to the effect of “well, I do have one other son, the youngest one. But seriously? He’s out in the field somewhere with the sheep. Why would you want that son?” (1 Samuel 6). I could continue on, but there are many more issues to discuss.

While Judaism teaches that we should find a teacher and a friend (Avot 1:6), in practical terms, most of the knowledge we gain is not from time spent at a desk, learning what we need to know before we act. Most learning, the learning that makes us who we are, comes from experiencing the moments when everything we know fails us! This is why, I believe, the Torah says that we should “do” and then “learn” (Exodus 24:6-7) as opposed to learning, then doing, which seems to make more sense.

Or does it? If we sat around all day learning how to act, we would never have the time to actually do something and learn from our mistakes. This is part of the reason why converts to Judaism are not supposed to be overwhelmed with learning before conversion (see Babylonian Talmud, Yevamot 47b). If we told people to learn, learn, and learn some more until they are Jewish enough, they could never convert, because learning is life long.

God, it seems, trusts this “do first, then learn” process, which is why God chose us to be a nation of priests (Exodus 19:6). Judaism does not say that we should be a nation of a few priests, with everyone else underneath. This is a distortion of the kohanim, who by the way, were not the intellectual elite: they were men who happened to be born into a family whose job it was to tend to sacrifices. While this would have been a point of honor, the honor of tending to the dead, to butchering meat, to teaching others, are all on an equal level. Bottom line: there is no one better in Judaism. We’re all the same, no matter what our job title.

Spiritual meritocracy is one thing. But there is another issue that may be more important, given the fact that fewer and fewer Jews are going to synagogue. What do we make of the people in “secular” Jewish institutions, which many of us feel removed from? Again, the same rule applies: there is no one greater or lesser in Judaism. It’s also important to look at the motivations of these organizations. I had one non-profit organizer tell me, “we don’t care what Jews do. We just want them to identify as Jewish. We want to know that fifty years from now, today’s Jewish children won’t be Catholics.” The idea of Jewish continuity, that Jews are an ethnocultural group devoid of anything else is more heretical than anything I have ever posted on PunkTorah. But for many, it is the operating mantra.

The Torah warns us many, many times about this kind of attitude. God does care what we do (the incident of the Golden Calf being a fairly straight forward example). And frankly, the belief that we are a closed off society that needs to be protected from itself is ahistorical. Midianites, Moabites, Canaanites and many others (including the mixed multitude of Egypt) became part of the Jewish people. Your ancestors at Mount Sinai were not just Hebrew slaves in Egypt, but all the other people who wanted to take part in the creation of a new civilization based on the One God. And our messiah comes from one of those people, Ruth the Moabite. While Jews are meant to be or l’goyim, the light to the other nations, it is a bizarre and frankly shocking idea that the way to achieve this is through a desperate pseudo-racial paranoia that removes Judaism from Jewish life and Jewish life from any context other than survivalism.

What does this have to do with meritocracy? Simple put, many wealthy organizations operate under this false, non-religious, ahistorical attitude. It creates a meritocracy where a wealthy elite are in charge of preventing the annihilation of the Jewish people that seems to always be lurking around the corner. Out of our deep seated fear of our own destruction, which blamelessly comes from the horror and shock of the Holocaust, we have put a lot of stock into this lowest-common-denominator way of maintaining Jewish community. But since it is not based on God, the Torah, the Jewish people as having anything to contribute to the world or anything else in Jewish principal, it is over time doomed to failure and frankly is transparent.

So if you agree with anything that I have stated, we are left with one question: what do we do to stop it? I have a few simple ideas:

Take Action – when you see a situation where elitism is being used to deny someone’s Judaism, stop it. Fight. Be a rebel. If you read PunkTorah, I assume this isn’t a problem for you. But fear, including the fear of being the lone voice of reason, can be intimidating. Don’t give up!

Use Love As the Litmus Test – when you consider putting your faith into someone or something, ask yourself what the motivation of that person or organization is. Are they interested in the kind of open, dynamic Jewish life that you believe in, or are they appealing to something else, like fear? When love, and not power, control, and anxiety becomes the pillar on which Jewish life is built, it will stand until Eternity.

Make Demands – Jewish leaders and organizations belong to the Jewish people. Rabbis don’t lead synagogues: they are contract workers, like the person who paves your driveway. You are in charge. So demand that elitism be taken out of your community

Support Goodness – there are hundreds of wonderful Jewish leaders who believe what we believe. The ones that live on the margins of Jewish life, the ones doing the grunt work to make Heaven on Earth, are the ones that we need to cling to. These are the outsiders, the freaks, the independent thinkers, the people that are not occupying the high seats of Jewish academia or prestige. Find these people, and love them.

Ditch the System – there is a belief that we can “work within the system”, building bridges, and trying to make the world better with the resources that others have. I am convinced this will not work. All radical movements that work manage to do it because they offer something else, something unique, and people will awake from their collective slumber to the reality of its shining beauty. So ditch the system. Don’t repair something that, when fixed, still won’t work. Do something new. If you must work in the system, or you see something good about being in it, then don’t let it white wash you. I have seen this happen. There are; however, many resilient personalities that do buck that trend, and I am proud to see these people band together.

Radically Love – people are not to blame for the meritocracy, the system is. And once we ditch the system (and that can mean different things to different people), we need to radically love. Love always attracts others. Fear, hostility, exclusion, and a superiority complex are no way to gain friends or influence others long term. But intense, passionate love for humanity and for God always win.

Ken yehi ratzon. May it be HaShem’s will.

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We all have people in our lives who resemble the Rasha – the wicked child of those famous 4 children who make their appearance at this time of year. Heck, at one time or another (or many) in our lives we may even BE the wicked child: the one who is completely disaffected and disconnected; who stands apart – from the seder, from the family, from Judaism itself.

Reading through the four children, we GET this bad-boy of the seder.

So (asked the Rabbi), what is he DOING there? I mean, most people who don’t buy into Passover, or the seder, or Judaism don’t show up in the first place! But there he his, sitting with his sneer next to the Chocham (the wise child) and making snide remarks under his breath.

Methinks he doth protest too much.

I used to teach a parent-child class at my synagogue, to help kids prepare to write the d’var Torah for their Bar/Bat Mitzvah. There would always be one or two kids who would make all kinds of comments – to the embarrassment of the parent seated next to them. In response to the inevitable parental apologies, I would tell that parent it was more than OK – it was my pleasure. See, the kids could only make those comments if they were listening in the first place. As long as they were listening, I knew we were on the right track.

Ditto the wicket child. He’s there. He’s listening. He’s asking questions. What do his actions tell us, versus his words?

Another point the Rabbi brought up was that the Rabbis who structured the Haggadah put those kids in order of importance. Second only to the wise child, the wicket child is considered more favored than the simple child or the one who doesn’t know what to ask. I leave it to you to ponder why.

And my final item to share, in the hopes it sparks conversation around your table tonight: Those four children could easily represent the course of American immigration and assimilation. The wise child is our grandparents, who arrived here from Europe knowing all the traditions and rules they learned in the shtetle overseas. The wicked child is the first generation American, trying hard to distance themselves from all traces of “foreign-ness”. The next generation asks their (wicked) parent “What’s is that?” to which they are told “Be quiet. Bubbie’s crazy.”

And fourth generation (third generation American) is the child who doesn’t know how to ask. Far from a tragedy, this child is open to learn the fullness of our tradition fresh and new, if only we are willing to keep modeling these strange customs and weird holidays, providing experiences to learn and discover…

…until the moment when they start asking their own questions.

Chag Sameach Pesach

Originally posted here.

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Separation is something I have always naturally been good at. I have never lived a secret life I am just really good at compartmentalizing. As a child I had my religious friends and my secular friends, outside of birthday parties the two never mixed. Fast forward to my late teens and early twenties I was thought of as basically two completely different people, this was due primarily to working full time as a ravenous wild eyed prep cook with post shift partying requirements contrasted by my life as a hardcore kid running with a pack healthy eating and clean living punks. I never lived a lie I just didn’t spin hardcore records or eat steaks at work and drinking in back alleys before all ages shows was never my thing. Same guy just really good time management skills, but that doesn’t change the fact that co-workers thought I was joking about vegetarianism and some punks seemed surprised to occasionally witnessing me drinking out of a brown paper bag. This is exactly what Shemini is all about.

In chapter nine of Leviticus a sin offering is followed by a burnt offering which is then followed by a peace offering. The sequence of these offerings is not a coincidence they symbolize the separation of wickedness, atonement, and forgiveness. If we are unable to differentiate right from wrong and why we are right or wrong then we will be forced to remain in the proverbial wilderness. The wilderness is emotional instability, mental anguish, and physical pain only by identifying our faults and actively working to correct them will we be able to leave those burdens behind and move on to something so much greater.

To illustrate the criticality of this concept is the tragic story of Aaron’s sons Nadab and Abihu. These sons and brothers presented a “strange” fire which Hashem deemed profane and as punishment were consumed by sacred fire erupting from the Holy of Holies. The lesson here is Nadab and Abihu were unable to completely separate their former secular lives from their current sacred lives of Priests. If they had been able to separate who knows they may have played a much more important and positive role within Judaism.

Shemini concludes with a list of Kosher versus Non-Kosher animals. What is so important about this concept of Kosher is not the permission to kill and eat certain animals but demonstrating how important things you consume figuratively and literally are. The easiest way to remember which animals are Kosher is to look at their diets and determine if they are scavengers eating what has been left by others as waste. The lesson here is do not fill yourself with wasteful things because it will only hold you down.

Shemini teaches us how not to live in the wilderness but we have to choose to make that break and enter into a promised life.

Jeremiah@punktorah.org Twitter: @circlepitbimah

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It was all part of my routine since arriving in this neighborhood 4 months earlier. Thursday nights at the kollel: davening (praying) a quick mincha (afternoon) service and then sitting for an hour to study with my “learning partner” (a euphamism for “the incredibly patient young Rabbi who graciously volunteered to shepherd me through the painful first steps of rudimentary Talmud study”).

7:55, the normal start time for Mincha, came and went but the room was still suspiciously empty. Another 5 minutes and 2 other men arrived, but didn’t have that rushed “I’m late to pray” look I would have expected. I began to suspect I had missed something. Screwing up my courage, I approached one of the guys, a solidly-built man wearing the standard white-shirt-black-suite uniform of the frum Jew, with a thick black beard and a kind face.

“Is Mincha downstairs today?” I asked, hoping I had made the easiest of all possible gaffes.

He paused, and I could see him working hard to understand the context of my question. Which caused my heart to sink further, since this was another clue that I had missed something bigger than just being on the wrong floor.

“Mincha?” he finally answered carefully. “We davened mincha this afternoon.”

I tried to make my voice sound both unperturbed and curious, hoping it wouldn’t betray the embarrassment and frustration that crushed down on me. “Oh really? What time was that?”

“1:30. Mincha is always 1:30 after the High Holidays.” while he spoke with nothing but kindness, my insecurity mentally overlaid a patronizing tone laced with derision.

I thanked the man for the information, choosing not to mention (to yet another person, for what seemed like the hundredth time) that it’s hard to know what “always” is when everything seems to be a “first” for me.

I went back to the place where I had carefully laid out my siddur.
Closed it up.
Placed it back on the shelf.
Fought the urge to just ditch it all and leave.
Sat with myself and came to grips with the fact that I was going to miss mincha prayers entirely.
Waited patiently for my partner to arrive

What frustrates me most in these moments (and this was not the only example that led to my writing this post. Nor was it even the first. Nor, I’m afraid, will it be the last.) is not the mistake. What’s really hard for me to swallow is the feeling that there are instructions for these things, but I’m somehow not seeing them, or understanding them. I feel like an illiterate foreigner, sitting at a bus stop on a national holiday when service has been cancelled. Making matters worse, there’s a large sign next to me stating that fact but, being a stranger in a strange land, I can’t read the sign. I don’t even know the sign has anything to do with the bus service. So I wait, and wait, and wait. Until someone takes pity and tells me what’s going on.

The condition of being both uneducated and inexperienced, of having to figure out what’s going on based on “sideways clues” (the guy next to me turned a page. I better turn mine too.), of always having to put on the self-effacing humor and “oh golly shucks I messed up again” smile because pounding the table in frustration (which is what I feel like doing) will only make the situation more awkward, the effort of swimming upstream against my own ignorance is exhausting in a way I find hard to even describe.

*******************

This essay has sat on my computer for some time, and I come back to it each time there is a new embarrassment, a new gaffe that leaves me feeling demoralized. I would work at the words like one might pull at the strings in a knot, solving nothing and, in fact, only making the entire thing tighter and harder to unravel. But I kept thinking that if I could get this post just right, it would help me find a way out of the cycle.

In the end, my solution came from someone much more experienced in these matters. Not a Rabbi, not a Jewish studies professor, not a Hebrew tutor and not even a been-orthodox-my-whole-life friend. It came from someone who knows a great deal about living with, and even embracing, this state of not-knowing.

As we were standing together one Shabbat morning, I looked up from my prayerbook where I had been painstakingly sounding out yet another prayer I didn’t know, to find my 8-year-old son looking up at me. “Are you done reading that already?” I whispered.

“Nope.” he answered nonchalantly. Then he confided, “I haven’t learned this one. So I pray by watching everyone else.”

There were so many things wrapped up in his small, simple answer. Faith that he would, one day, learn “this one”. Confidence that even if he didn’t learn how to say the words, he still had options. Trust that he could still connect to God in a way that was authentic and valid.

But above all, he was unconcerned about not measuring up. To extend a famous quote by Abraham Lincoln, he intuitively knew that his legs were long enough to reach the ground, and that his soul was tall enough to reach heaven.

I began to study how he experienced the world, and discovered a seemingly endless series of things he didn’t know, which he dealt with daily. I saw the way faith and trust and a sublime acceptance of the each moment -asking it to be nothing more or less than what it was – how all of that was a natural part of his responses. I realized that, in growing up and getting all sorts of amazing skills and tricks and knowledge, I lost the very thing that allowed me to acquire all those things in the first place.

That disconnect, more than anything, was my actual problem. I’m now working to fix this deficiency.

The other day, I found myself in that situation again. Asked to open the ark (twice – once when the Torah came out and again when it was being returned) I found that I had no idea about the mechanics of the job.

I didn’t know when to go up. I didn’t know when to open the doors. The leader waited (it seemed to me) until the last possible second to come up and actually get the Torah, and I stood in pure terror wondering if I was supposed to bring it to him. Instead of escorting the Torah around the entire sanctuary, I (practically) ran back to my seat and stayed there (only to be immediately informed by a well-meaning elder of the congregation of my gaff). Later, when the Torah was put back, I closed the ark too early.

But you know what?

A friend told me when to go up. The president of the congregation (who sits up front) clued me when open the ark. The gabbai, seeing my panicked expression, gave me the “it’s ok” sign so I knew to sit tight and wait for the leader. And when I started to close the ark at the end, the leader was up there and explained I was too early. I re-opened it, and we kept going.

We all make mistakes, and as much as my lack of functional knowledge frustrates me, it’s also to be expected. It is understandable for someone in my position. It is forgiven by everyone in this community, many of whom have stood where I stand. If we are brave enough to start at all, we will all have to start somewhere, and some-when for that matter. And after that moment of beginning, it’s a sure thing that there will be mistakes. The scientific term for this, I believe, is “learning”.

I got back to my seat after closing the ark (this time at the correct point in the service). My son was waiting to shake my hand. It was clear that, as far as he was concerned, it had all gone off without a hitch.

And he was right.

Leon Adato is the blogger/director of EdibleTorah.com. For more of PunkTorah’s “Jewish Fails”, check out our YouTube series…Jewish Fails!

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Tzav does not teach us anything new what it does do is reiterate important lessons. Making amends and how we present our outward selves are lessons already touched upon within Torah. So why the repeat and why not combine Vayikra and Tzav into one portion? The answer is simple, only people study Torah and its no secret that everyone likes to be reminded of things. This week as you meditate on and study Tzav look through your spiritual spy glass as you would in search of positive reinforcement. Its like being told by someone special that they love you over and over again.

What verbal and non-verbal reinforcement helps you to be a better Jew? Share in the comments below or send me a message: Jeremiah@punktorah.org Twitter: @circlepitbimah

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Chametz (חמץ) is one of two reasons we don’t eat bread during Passover.  There’s a couple of reasons for eating unleavened bread given in the Torah, but beyond eating Matzah there is also this thing called chametz  If it were just bread there wouldn’t be all these other prohibitions on food during Passover.

I’m not going to go all technical about the laws of Pesach or chametz — there’s plenty of other sites you can find that on. Personally, what I love is how Passover practices so closely align the spiritual and the physical.  So let’s do a little more thinking about the symbolism of chametz and why it’s so important.

The simplest definition of chametz is food made from five different grains that has been allow to ferment.  Generally these grains are defined as wheat, barley, oat, spelt or rye. I have found a couple of articles that point out that spelt, rye and oats didn’t grow in biblical Israel — so they really can’t be what the Torah intended.  But we are a people who build and build on tradition, so these grains may have been substituted for Middle Eastern grains during the Diaspora.  But I digress….

What I find interesting here is the correlation between chametz and the “hamotzei” prayer over bread. Two food types have special blessings, wine and bread. With wine we say, “the fruit of the vine,” but there are lots of foods that grow on vines that we don’t use that prayer for: only grape wine and sometimes juice.  The other special food is leavened bread.

What do these two things have in common?  Divine Intervention.

Both foods are created through a partnership between G!d(dess) and humanity that goes way beyond basic cooking. If you’ve ever tried to bake bread or make wine, you totally know this to be true.  There is magick — Divine Essence made manifest — in the act of fermentation.  Why Jews picked these two types of fermentation to acknowledge — who knows?

Even the letters that make up the word chametz are a clue: חמץ.  The letter Chet (ח) is the first letter of the word Chaya — life!  The form of the letter chet, according to Inner.org,  means: “The union of God’s immanence, transcendence, and the Jewish People.”  So let’s look at the second letter, the Mem (מ). Here we have the letter that begins “mayim” — water.  Inner.org puts it very poetically by saying, it “symbolizes the fountain of the Divine Wisdom.”  Lastly we have the Tsadi Sofit (ץ).  Inner.org mostly deals with the Tzadik in its regular, not final form — I found this to be quite revelant, “the consciousness of Atzilut uniting with the source of wisdom and descending to teach Creation.”  Chametz is a substance that transforms and creates new life (ח) through contact to water (מ) and connects G!d(dess) and humanity.

This brings me to chametz and why we don’t eat it during Passover.  During Passover we fast.  Not like the fast of Yom Kippur or other fasting holidays.  We fast, we refrain from creating or ingesting food that can only be created through this incredible partnership.  We remove all traces of the Divine catalyst from our homes so we are sure it is not infected from the twelve plagues as we relive them each year.  We break the final chains from slavery by insisting on self-reliance for a week and eating only foods that can be crafted without this Divine catalyst.

So this Passover, look at that Matzah differently.  Look at the rules around clearing out the chametz differently.  When Pesach ends and you take the first bite of delicious bread — or first sip of beer — think about it.  Say the blessing.  Know that this is evidence of G!d(dess) working in our world.

————

Ketzirah is a Kohenet, Celebrant, and Artist.  She works with individuals and groups to explore, discover, and create meaningful rituals and ritual artwork to mark moments in life.

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Animal sacrifices today are just not practical. This is not because sacrificing an animal is frowned upon (lets face it most people’s diets include killed animals and sacrificing them is not that weird) it is because we display our prosperity in other ways. The ritual and reasons for sacrificial offerings are laid out in Vayikra to strengthen the relationship between Hashem and mankind. Animals or no animals it makes perfect sense Hashem created everything and by default everything is His regardless of what we may think.

In more modern times each of us has our own way of showing just how sorry and remorseful we are. My process is a heartfelt apology acknowledging my scum bagginess followed by a gift of some sort, on the other hand a close friend of mind likes to show remorse with a nice dinner and drinks at a classy restaurant. Both are far cries from sacrificing the choicest of cows but the intent is the same. Making amends is something we have to initiate first in our hearts and then through our actions, this is exactly what Vayikra is about.

Wait there’s more! Sacrificial offerings also add closure. Done with sincerity showing your remorse to those you have hurt helps all involved, both sides are then able to close and lock a door that opens into a painful part of life. Closure is a crucial tool in spiritual growth dwelling on past mistakes will only strangle you like a vine.

What are your sacrificial offerings? Share in the comments below or send me a message: Jeremiah@punktorah.org Twitter: @circlepitbimah

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We are now sold out of seder plates. Thank you so much for your support! To continue supporting PunkTorah, please click on this link to donate.

We have two unique seder plates with free shipping available at PunkTorah for our Passover Fundraiser. Click the image above to zoom in!

Each seder plate is made up of a gorgeous chocolate brown main plate and six small, robin’s egg blue dishes. Included in the set is a haggadah (haggadot type will vary) and a black, hand knitted kippah! The plate is obviously for your Passover seder, but can be separated into multiple dishes for chip/dip, tapas or other serving dish year round.

Shipping is free and 100% of the proceeds go to benefit PunkTorah.org. The seder plate set with haggadah and hand crochet kippah is only $56.99.

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We are now completely out of haggadot. We are so thrilled that we could help so many people.

Still need haggadot? You can download the haggadah from the OneShul siddur, Ahavah Rabbah, free by clicking here. The service starts on page 92.

Want to do a mitzvah? Please click on the link below to donate $6.99 to PunkTorah to help pay for the cost of shipping all the haggadah orders we received.

TZEDAKAH HAGGADOT

Have a wonderful Passover!

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The book will be available late May. But we need your help!

We need your conversion story. Submit it before April 16th to patrick@punktorah.org. We also need volunteer editors. So if you are painfully aware of spelling and grammar rules, this gig is for you.

You can pre-order the printed book for $16.99 and receive an honorable mention on the first page! Pre-orders are made via Paypal. Click here to make your donation. Thank you!

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Parsha Vayakhel (Ex. 35:1 – 38:20)

1. I’m sorry lets make up.

After directing their faith towards a less responsive candidate for godhead in Ki Tisa. The ancient Hebrews are repenting and doing what we all do when we know its our fault and not the other persons. Instead of cooking a nice dinner or sending a bouquet of flowers our ancestors gave completely and totally of themselves. The golden calf was only given a little bit of gold in order to become a physical thing, while Hashem was given everything Moses needed to build the Tabernacle and dress Aaron and the rest of the priests. They gave and gave and gave until they were told to stop.

2. All Ages Benefit Show.

The ancient Hebrews gave so much of themselves not out of fear but because they truly wanted to give unto Hashem. They were told to stop because the needs of the religious government were met and taking more or even everything would have left the rest of that society in dire need. This reiterates that Hashem is a living G~d who needs a two way relationship with us and not heartless obedience.

Parsha Pekudei (Ex. 38:21 – 40:38)

1. War Against errr For Society.

Often times when we think of nomadic peoples images of tents and caravans creep into our minds eye, we do not envision portable buildings. The ancient Hebrews while technically nomadic were unique because Egypt shares a border with the State of Israel yesterday and today. Pekudei captures the part of history when the Tabernacle is actually built, gone is Moses’ talk about building and present is the construction carried out by Bezalel and Oholiab.

2. From the Old School to the New School

As Exodus ends a new chapter is penning itself. Absent are the heroic styled accounts and morally ambiguous lessons demonstrated in the lives of our ancestors and what we do have is the first physical State of Israel. Hashem and Moses have literally created a viable self supporting nation state with codified laws, a government structure, religious culture, all while remaining partially nomadic. Yes over the course of the next few decades this state will move from here to there and then to other there but an unruly band of nomads in the desert they are not.

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On the surface so many things take place in Ki Tisa one can very easily come away feeling overwhelmed. If that is not enough to make you say “Woah” just beneath the surface the depths of meaning are endless. If you have yet to read this week’s portion , stop right here and go and do it! Fear not I will be right hear where you left me.

Choices, choices, choices…seriously where to begin? Better to choose just one lesson and run, right? Right! Ki Tisa shows us that being Jewish is easier than it seems. Judaism is simply choosing Hashem and His traditions. That latter part has really been expounded upon throughout the centuries but the former remains as is. The anger in this week’s portion exuded verbally by Hashem and Moses and physically by Levitical sword stems from a heart piercing betrayal by the ancient Hebrews. Once again they chose to turn their backs to Hashem and their faces towards a golden calf. Hardly a coincidence then that Moses sees the back of Hashem and then begins to cover his face with a vale.

Three thousand men are figuratively and literally cut from Judaism for two specific reasons. First, this is the second time their hearts yearned for an inanimate god and second the ancient Hebrew’s society was the first true state of Israel. The Hebrew Tribes were surrounded by non-nomadic people worshiping man made divinity, simply put nothing was stopping those slain from leaving the tribe for more “golden” pastures. They chose to stay, stray, and hope for the day when their agenda was the majority one.

Today drawing swords and cleaning the proverbial house is antiquated to say the least, but that doesn’t mean we can’t turn inwards and cut out those things that are foreign parasites feeding off our sparks. Judaism like ever other religion is not hyphenated you can not choose Hashem and attach a belief in other deities to your faith. If you feel called to another faith don’t be hindered by your upbringing or family name, if you allow that to happen your diminishing yourself and the Jewish faith. In essence go and be the best practitioner you can be.

Learning about and from others is crucial to a fearless and fulfilling life but at some point you have to be true to your spark. The many traditions within Judaism often times seem at odds with each other over Halakha but choosing Hashem and Hashem only is the lynchpin that keeps us who we are.

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Anyway, after years of not knowing anything about my mother’s family, we finally discovered that we’re the type of apple you get in lokshen. (See? The apple analogy was totally going somewhere! It surprised even me, to be honest.)

At least, we’re probably the sort of apple you get in a tasty Jewish dessert. We definitely have Hebrew blood. At the very least, we’re kosher apple pie. My mother is quite happy at being apple pie. I, on the other hand, would quite like to be a lokshen-grade apple. I’ve always been spiritual, and I’ve developed a pretty good relationship with G_d (we talk regularly, and I don’t sulk with him as much as I used to). I also love Judaism. I read my Torah portion every week, and honestly, I think I’d cry if a rabbi told me to go back to being apple pie.

So in order to discover the extent of our Jewishness and to learn a little more about my maternal family heritage, I wrote to a rabbi at one of Birmingham’s synagogues (this was back in December 2011). I explained my mother’s adoption story, the information we’d uncovered regarding our Jewishness, and then asked if I could visit the synagogue and perhaps sit in on a service. The rabbi wrote back and was quite lovely. He said he was touched to read my family’s story, and said that we could join in with the shul’s activities once we’d shown him the documentation that proved we were Jewish.

…And there’s my stumbling block. ‘All you have to do is prove you’re Jewish’. For someone as neurotic and as anally retentive as me, this was (and still is) a nightmare. But I still want to visit the shul, and to be honest, I think I need the rabbi’s validation. It would be nice to sit down and hear a rabbi say, “Emma, you’re a big Jew.” It would overcome all doubt and would also give my mother and I a connection to something beyond ourselves. We’ve both always felt like outsiders for one reason or another, and so to belong to something that we both feel an affinity for would be amazing!

This led me to discover just how strict people can be about the idea of Jewish identity. You can’t marry in Israel unless you can produce really watertight documentation to demonstrate that you , your mother and your mother’s mother were all Jewish. They want ketubah and bar mitzvah documents and all sorts! If you want to live in Israel, then you can’t have a great-great-great-grandmother that converted to Judaism. (I read somewhere that they’re even conducting DNA tests now, but this might just be an Internet concocted work of fiction…) I have no ketubah and no bar mitzvah documents. Nothing. Until a few years ago, my mother didn’t even have a photograph of her own mother! I’m sure you can imagine the quiet (yet messy) little melt-down I had upon reading all of this. But then I reasoned that I don’t really want to move to Israel (I’m perfectly adapted to British weather – cold, wet and windy), and my partner isn’t Jewish anyway, so why marry in Israel? Keep calm and carry on, Emma.

So I then wondered what kind of proof a rabbi would actually want. I mean, I’ve found enough to satisfy myself that I’m pretty Jewish, and I can be seriously difficult to convince! But I’m not a rabbi. I don’t know what the criteria are. I did find an encouraging piece online that was written by a Jewish lady who was in a very similar situation to my own. But then she didn’t list the type of documentation she had in her possession. Perhaps she had more than me. Perhaps her mother’s mother’s maiden name was Cohen – that would have been just too convenient, wouldn’t it?! I fantasised about finding a Cohen or a Levy whilst researching my family tree. But no. All the women in my family are awkward! (Which I like, to be honest! We’re awkward, which in my world is synonymous with ‘interesting’.)

So basically, I would be happy to put myself into a tasty Jewish dessert, but would the rabbi agree? I’m writing this in a pretty light-hearted way, but this has become extremely important to me. I’ve now collated all the information I could unearth. I’ve explored every familial avenue I could find, and it keeps coming back Hebrew (to me at least).

For instance, I’ve found that three generations of my family lived in the Jewish Quarter of Birmingham during the Victorian era. (Some of them were also there back in the Georgian era.) There was my great-grandmother, great-great-grandmother and great-great-great-grandmother, along with their husbands and in-laws. All the family names I’ve found have strong Jewish connections, and I also discovered that before moving to Birmingham, the various branches of the family all orbited a place called Stroud in Gloucestershire. (Stroud once had a thriving Jewish community, and even possessed a synagogue and Jewish cemetery.) I even found DNA projects for my grandmother’s and great-great-grandmother’s families. The results from both revealed the primary haplotype to be J2, which places them in the Mediterranean and Fertile Crescent regions. They both also possessed the J1 haplotype to a lesser extent, and that places both branches in Torah Country. The documentation I’d previously uncovered revealed that both families have Sephardic roots, and the DNA results would seem to confirm it! So I suppose it’s all looking good!

But there’s a catch. (There’s always a catch!) During my genealogical adventures, I’ve also learned how wildly protective some Jewish communities can be of their cultural heritage, to some I guess it might even seem elitist. I can understand why this is, of course I can. The Jewish people have been scattered across the world, enslaved, and persecuted time and again. The only way for a people to survive that kind of hardship and maintain a cohesive culture is by adhering closely to its traditions and precepts – to be protective of it. However, it can be very daunting and hard for those trying to find a way in – or back in. If I don’t meet the rabbi’s prerequisite level of Jewishness, then I have to go back to being kosher apple pie, which would frankly break my little heart.

Still, I’ve started on this journey now and I’m quite determined to finish it. I emailed the rabbi’s PA on Sunday (yes, the rabbi has a PA) and asked for an appointment. Which is what he asked me to do back in December. So very soon, the verdict should be in! (Next Tuesday at 11am, to be precise.) The question is, is Emma Jewish enough to call herself a Jew?

Emma Holton
20th February 2012

(You want to know the really scary thing? …I haven’t even learned anything about my paternal grandfather’s family yet! Can you imagine…)

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In Tetzaveh Hashem via Moses codifies instructions to consecrate everything priestly. This includes oil for the Tabernacle, priestly garments, ordination of the priesthood, the alter, and incense burning. In today’s age the Temple has been reduced to a wall supporting the earthly foundation of a Mosque and we no longer have a family of priests we have Rabbis and any Jew can be a Rabbi after the proper training. Looking at this week’s portion within the framework of the early 21st century we can apply these laws to how we as Jews view and present ourselves within the world surrounding us.

Anyone who knows me well will tell you that in so many words I talk and act like I spent 3 years and 8 months in a federal penitentiary. The truth is I spent that time living and working a desk job in Charlotte, North Carolina and the culture shock of the mid south was something I never became accustomed to. During the past week while I reflected on Tetzaveh I was reminded of a co-worker in Charlotte who was adamant that I was not Jewish because I did not look like a Jew. I have absolutely no clue what a Southern Baptist thinks a Jew looks like and honestly I didn’t ask since we worked in an office building and that conversation would not have ended politely to say the least. Then I started to think about my misspent youth and how sometimes I would be followed through stores based on my “look” but we are not even through Shemot and I have talked about myself way too much. The inspiration for these reflections is how important our presentation is to our self image, our community, and to the non-Jewish community at large.

I really wanted to forget about Tetzaveh because challenging myself and asking how do I want my presentation to be, is a very heavy task. At this point in Torah, Aaron and his sons are finally at a point where dressing in priestly garments is a natural and comfortable expression of themselves and the greater Hebrew community is ready to except them as is. Before this point dressing as a priest would have resulted in a small flicker of awkardness emanating from the priestly caste and even a small flicker would have been blinding to those within the Hebrew camps doing more harm than good. Like Aaron I want to exude a complete and confident Jewish aura instead of an awkward or uneasy aura. The first thing I want Non-Jews whom I interact with to think when they hear the word Jew is something positive. I do not want that response to be something like “Oh, you mean your like that stiff, awkward guy Jeremiah.”

This week examine yourself. How do you find comfort in outward Jewish expression? Are there times when an outward expression makes you feel uncomfortable? In the past how did you overcome that discomfort?

Jeremiah@punktorah.org Twitter: @circlepitbimah

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Before PunkTorah became a non-profit, Jewish multimedia company and hub for independent Jewish spirituality, I often went on diatribes about young Jewish professionals. I mentioned how much I hate the term in PunkTorah’s latest book and probably the third most read article on PunkTorah is about the secret language of these strange beasts.

Problem is, I’ve become one.

Yes, I am a young, Jewish professional. I run a Jewish non-profit. I am becoming a rabbi. I am a lay spiritual leader at the world’s only online, independent chavurah. I find myself in-and-out of the young, Jewish professional “scene” and I have to admit, I am normally able to hold-my-own in a crowd, but these suit and tie, business card flashing, hair gel coma inducing events of romantic hookups and business deals give me panic attacks and warm thoughts about psychiatric drug commercials. I recall one event I went to at a college, where in the intensity of name tags, Jewish Geography and let’s-take-an-arial-photo-of-us-on-my-Smartphone-so-I-can-publish-it-to-the-young-Jewish-professionals-Facebook made me want to run to the bathroom and hold myself in the fetal position until it all blew over like some kind of Yiddish tornado swallowing up the town.

Obviously I have strong feelings about this. So I made a YouTube video about it. Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ux5IocEMjZw

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Relationships go both ways it is unfair to all involved when only one side gives and the other only receives. Often there are times we forget that Hashem created the human race for companionship and not as subjects for an experiment in rule. Hashem asking the ancient Hebrews for supplies for His earthly dwelling is just the beginning it is also an indirect plea for the overall health of the community.

The lesson of Terumah is so far reaching and inclusive in our day to day lives its impossible to find a place were it stops. Its like outer space its endless. This is because human beings are pack animals. We are at our healthiest when we are in a functioning environment with other fulfilled and happy human beings. Think about it who do we fear the most? We fear the recluse, the loner, the outsider while we gravitate towards people who make us laugh and who we feel comfort from being around. By building the Tabernacle Hashem and the ancient Hebrews took the next step in a relationship designed to make humanity and world the best it possibly can be.

For the sake of time and my sanity I’m going to leave this portion as is. Seriously though I could probably write a book exploring the merging of spiritual and physical in community from the home all the way to society on a global scale. Terumah is important because it forces us to view ourselves as individuals in a whole. If the tribes are united then they will never be divided.

P.S.

If anyone in the greater Albuquerque area (or anyone willing to move out here) wants to build a Tabernacle out in the Mesa I say lets do it!

Jeremiah@punktorah.org Twitter: @circlepitbimah

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Yes — it’s time for Purim!  Who doesn’t love Purim?  They tried to kill us, they failed, we kicked their @$$ to the 7th generation — LET’S PARTY!!!!

Over on my own site, I waxed poetic (and ritual) about the hamantaschen.  Over at NewKosher.org, you can find some great hamantaschen recipes.  Here at PunkTorah — I want to talk Purim Shpiel.  Next to Passover, Purim is one of our most accessible and fun holidays and like Passover, it’s also serious.  The Purim Shpiel is the tradition of doing a humorous play that mocks our enemies.  Jews do love comedy, after all.

For years, I threw a killer Purim Shpiel at my house.  I just called it a Purim party — but it was all the same.  It’s amazing how awesome a party where everyone gets lit and acts out the bible while I read it can be.  It was also always a huge opportunity for learning. I always read the JPS translation — and all the way through.

When we hit the end one year, my sister started to yell that I was making up the part where we slaughter Haman’s extended family.  She didn’t remember that from Purim as a child.  A HUGE debate ensued about this and whether or not they actually read the whole Megillah at our childhood synagogue and how this changed our impression of the holiday.

But seriously — when can you read the bible to people without seeming creepy?  It’s awesome!

Here’s how I do it.  I have some props that are for each main character and either asked friends who wanted to be whom, or in the true spirit of Purim,  had them draw lots for parts. If people were unfamiliar with the characters, I would do a quick explanation.  Everyone who didn’t play a part, had groggers and other noise makers — plus they got to drink.

Then I just start reading, and my friends act out any interpretation of what I’m saying they like.  I can assure you, we had some fascinating interpretations going.  I remember a prissy, pissy french Haman.  One time it turned out the hidden story was that Haman was jealous of Vashti’s awesome gold/velvet stole.  And well, Esther bowing before the King’s “golden scepter” lead to a not so family friendly interpretation of how Esther saved her people….

This year — invite your friends over and read the bible to them.  Read the whole Megillah — word for word.  Drink — you are obligated by Jewish law to eat, drink and be merry.  Seriously — this is the only holiday where you are obligated to have fun.  Take the opportunity to see what you can learn from the reveling and topsy-turvy experience of Purim.

———–

Ketzirah is a Kohenet, Celebrant, and Artist.  She works with individuals and groups to explore, discover, and create meaningful rituals and ritual artwork to mark moments in life.

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One can easily argue that last week’s portion Yitro more than any other represents Torah as a whole and one can easily argue that this week’s portion Mishpatim represents the Talmud. Mishpatim to me marks a departure from the format the Torah has been unrolling itself as, gone is the moral ambiguity of the Patriarchs and Matriarchs and present are divine laws. Last week Moses established a government body consisting of judges and this week he takes his nation founding to the next logical step by codifying laws on parchment and thus finding a way to unilaterally make the Torah relevant to every person then and now.

This week Moses gives his first dictation regarding law for just about everything. For the hardline right we have an out for murder, slavery, assault, and male immodesty and for me and my lame liberal brothers and sisters big government checks and balances regulating the treatment of widows, no interest loans, false witness, bribes, and respect for foreigners. Moses would be so unelectable today.

So does this mean do what you want just make a good argument for it after the fact? Probably, but I want to be a better Jeremiah today than I was yesterday and the only real way to do that is to strip yourself down to a point where you are moving forward in the direction of righteousness and not constantly resetting yourself always looking for that oh so sacred of a path. I am in a place now where the afore mentioned woes are non-issues in my daily life. True I have never murdered anyone in cold blood but I have definitely thrown my fair share of hook punches, the point is I am at a place in my life where fighting really is not a reality for me. I am way beyond that. The challenges for me lay with the later. I live in society, I interact with people in society, I am part of society. When one suffers we all suffer.

Mishpatim is the Talmud portion of Torah because it opens the discussion for fairness and what is righteousness while codifying what is and is not permissible within Jewish society. What this week’s portion is not are stagnant rules to take advantage of to further a special interest group’s agenda. Maybe you feel more comfortable eating steak in a tri-corned hat while shooting shifty eyed glances at widows with funny sounding last names or maybe you’re a vegan pot luck type of person who can’t quite figure out why the government is so hesitant to provide more basic needs for those it rules over.

Allowing those of different dispositions to gravitate towards one common root is the genius of Judaism. If Hashem wanted the Jewish people to be stagnant and set in a certain way he would have ended the Torah with Yitro but He didn’t in fact there is a lot more to come. Don’t be stagnant and set in your ways meditate on where you are at right now and challenge yourself to press forward along the path of righteousness.

Where do you see yourself now? Where would you like to be tomorrow or a year from now? Leave a comment below or jeremiah@punktorah.org Twitter @circlepitbimah

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Simply visit the OneShul site and contact us. We will specially design a memorial “plaque” based on your needs. Though we ask for an eighteen dollar donation in support of OneShul, we will not turn away anyone who cannot contribute that this time.

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Ten set in stone easy to follow rules are not the reason I was frustrated and gave up it was the fact that something so straight forward is so muddied by people. Each commandment is nothing more than a branch sprouting out of the simplistic Essence of Judaism (aka the Golden Rule) but the rest of the Tanakh, Mishnah, Midrash, et cetera are arguments for either an open left handed caress or a clinched crushing right handed fist. ARRRRGGHGHG!!!!

The good news is I have always been a thinking man, meaning my distaste for my parents over zealous approach towards religion was the fuel that made me strike out on my own but it was not enough to keep me away. Of course I was antagonistic towards anyone observant until I could no longer justify my atheism and now my approach to Judaism is very secular and very modern but I am a Jew nonetheless and not an angry atheist or a member of another faith’s flock.

The thirty-three year old me understands what the thirteen year old could not and that is Halachah is meaningless unless it naturally flows through your life like a fresh water spring. Commentaries and parshot are great and I love them but they are there to feed you ,to strengthen you, to make you grow not to hinder your spark.

Shortly after turning twenty-two I apologized to Hashem for walking out on Him and since then I try and keep it simple but I do work hard at emanating the big ten internally and externally. For example number six sure I don’t kill people heck I don’t even eat or wear animals but it is also a charge against self destructive behaviors. Hashem wants us to live and you can’t do that when your killing yourself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Now when I study commentaries I always try and look at things from the author’s point of view. In order to truly find balance and grow as a Jew it is so important to fully understand opposing ideals and to completely embrace those you agree with.

Don’t just do something because it is tradition do it because you need to in order to be the best Jew you can be. Shalom.

Jeremiah@punktorah.org Twitter: @circlepitbimah

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The long awaited saga Steampunk Torah continues with Rivkah Raven’s new chapters: Noah, Lech Lecha and Vayeira.

Not familiar with Steampunk Torah? Check out the unfolding saga here at PunkTorah.org.

Click below to download the newest chapters:

Chapter 26: Parshat Noah

Chapter 27: Lekh Lekha

Chapter 28: Vayera

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Beshalach is a tough one not because of moral ambiguity but because the most recognizable Torah tale takes place right here in this week’s portion. Yep this week Moses parts a large body of water and if that is not enough sweetens water to quench thirst, negotiates for daily quail, and survives an impressive endurance test during a battle with the Amalekites.

My Dvar for this week is deliberately short because we all know this portion better than any other and since Circle Pit the Bimah is a reference to a hardcore punk dance move it is appropriate to have a least one brief parsha.

So here we go, Beshalach is about being a leader and focal point for our Jewish communities. Unlike the Shoah we do not have individual accounts of triumph and tragedy we have Moses being the focal point as the leader and with Hashem as provider, we have Miriam as the feminine focal point leading the dance, we have Aaron and Hur being focal points of support. Be Jewish, be yourself, be the focal point.

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In this week’s podcast, Patrick (with cohost Stefanie) respond to the outrage over the Atlanta Jewish Times article suggesting that Israel may want to assassinate President Obama. Patrick also answers your questions about rabbinical school!

Click here to listen to this week’s podcast.

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comic start and follow up, “one year later“.

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If you have never been to a Limmud, you are missing out!

Limmud Chicago’s family friendly annual festival of Jewish learning will be held February 19th at the University of Illinois Chicago Student Center East. This all day event includes dozens of lectures, discussion groups, workshops and films on all things Jewish. Participants come from all backgrounds, all ages and all levels of observance. It’s an exciting opportunity to push the boundaries of what Judaism means to you – and your family.

Go to www.limmudchicago.com for more details and registration information. Interested in reserving a time for being interviewed for The G-d Project? Click here to email us.

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Judaism is monotheistic period. This means everything, or lack thereof, emanates from one source, Hashem. Whether it is righteousness, wickedness, or something in between the root, the seed, the source is the same and never wavering. We as human beings are created in Hashem’s image and this does not mean He looks like us externally but that we encapsulate pure dualism just like Him. Every act, belief, and feeling we have is only present because its opposite is not acted upon. Sure we exist but we emanate good and evil based on our will just like our creator.

Passover is the perfect lesson to explain the compulsions of good versus evil we all have seeded inside of us. In fact this week’s portion is the blossomed fruit matured from the seed sprouting out of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. The Hebrews marking their door posts is a conscious choice to do good when faced with doing evil. This choice to mark themselves apart saves their sons and leads directly towards breaking the yoke of bondage. The Egyptians refusal to do the right thing results in the evil inclination running rampant in their hearts and minds leading to death, sorrow, anger, and the lust for vengeance. Such a heavy portion.

Bo is the perfect moral lesson to carry as a reminder while navigating all of life’s temptations. Sometimes we are the ancient Hebrew yearning to cast off the burden of evil inclinations and sometimes we are the ancient Egyptian willfully afflicting those around us. Bo is more than just the first Passover it is the morality of where we as human beings created in the divine image of Hashem exist. Actions have consequences and only you the individual can choose which path to take.

Jeremiah@punktorah.org Twitter: @CirclePitBimah

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Tree of Life Concept by Ketzirah

When most people think of Shevat, they think of Tu b’Shevat, the “new year” of the trees.  Tu b’Shevat is one of the four new years in the Jewish religion.  What began thousands of years ago as a tax day on fruit trees, has grown into the Jewish arbor day and/or a spiritual opportunity to explore new growth and our connection to the environment.  Like so many of our holidays there are so many layers, so Tu b’Shevat can offer an amazing array of in-roads to exploring Jewish practice.

Tree Planting
It’s no wonder that Jews love Tu b’Shevat, after all we call the Torah the “tree of life.”  In ancient Israel we even planted trees when children were born to commemorate their birth and then these trees were used as the chuppah poles at their weddings. That’s just one of many amazing tree-based traditions in Judaism! If you want to plant a tree for Tu b’Shevat, there are lots of organizations that you can donate to that will help you with that, since it’s a lousy time of year to actually plant trees in most parts of the world. If this is what you are looking for, then check out Casey Trees and Jewish National Fund. I’m sure there are tons of other great organizations, and I hope you’ll share your favorite in the comments.

Seders
By now most people have heard of a Tu b’Shevat seder, even if they’ve never been to one.  So where do you start?  Thankfully, there are many free, and really good, Tu b’Shevat seders available online.  Here are few of my favorites to explore:

• Tu B’Shevat Seder of the Seasons
• Tu B’Shevat Seder of the Four Worlds
• The Trees are Davening: A Tu B’Shevat Haggadah
• Peeling a Pomegranate Tu B’Shevat Seder (pdf)
• Babaganewz: Tu B’Shevat Seder for Families
• Ritual Well: Tu B’Shevat Seder
• Hillel: Tu B’Shevat Seder

If you are a more DIY kind of person, check out this Tu B’Shevat Seder Outline, from Kolel.  It gives you a bit of a mix and match set up that allows you to easily create your own Tu B’Shevat seder.

Editors Note: we will also be having a Tu B’Shevat class on Monday, February 6th at 7PM EST at OneShul.org as well as an online Tu B’Shevat seder on Tuesday at 7PM EST.

Psalms
I learned about the tradition of reciting the fifteen “Psalms of Ascent” (120-134) during the first fifteen days of Shevat from my teacher, RK’Jill Hammer.  She has taken this practice further by associating a specific type of tree with each psalm.  Since the psalms have become a big part of my daily spiritual practices right now, I’m very excited to explore this concept this year.

You could even create prayer trees by writing or printing out pieces of the psalms of ascent and tying them to trees in your yard.  Imagine if you write the psalms on pieces of ribbon or fabric, how pretty the tree would look!  You could leave the fabric up just during Shevat, or if you use unbleached cotton or muslin, you could even just leave it to disintegrate naturally over time.

Final thought…

Whatever you do, take some time to appreciate Judaism’s long and complicated history with trees.  You might even want to take time to reflect on your own relationship with trees and nature.  No matter where you live, take some time to appreciate these amazing partners in life.  Without trees, we couldn’t breath, have paper, firewood, and a million other things!

———–

Ketzirah is a Kohenet, Celebrant, and Artist.  She works with individuals and groups to explore, discover, and create meaningful rituals and ritual artwork to mark moments in life.

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We’ve started a fun, new Twitter account @JewishLaw. Every day (hopefully!) we will post a line of text or an insights from the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, an abbreviated compilation by Rabbi Solomon Ganzfried (translated by Hyman Goldin). Please follow us and get involved in the dialogue about Jewish law, spirituality and text!

Do you want to support @JewishLaw? Please give a donation of $5.99 to support one month of our tweeting!

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Va’eira begins with Moses doubting his ability and really not wanting a leadership position, and from what the Torah tells us the Hebrews agreed with Moses. This personality trait of Moses I can relate to in a complete and whole way, because like Moses I have made the same suicidal gestures with my career. On multiple occasions and to different levels of leadership I have made it clear that taking the step into management is not my goal and in so many words something I never plan on pursuing. This is not career suicide but it can be read as a suicidal gesture, in reality the incredibly small increase in pay is just not worth the stress of having to be available around the clock while “parenting” grown adults most of whom are many years older than me, and worse of all terminating the income of someone with children. I like to think this is Moses’s outlook as well besides it is not like there are no other candidates for the position, there is Aaron who becomes the head of the Hebrews 40 years after liberation and we learn later on of other Hebrews who really want the job as well.

Moses is smart enough, educated enough, and a believer enough to know the Hebrews will be set free. . . eventually. He knows it will be a long hard road to lead, move, and settle a new land with a people who have a collective body disfigured with deep scars from generations of slavery. Moses’s life is different than those he is charged to lead he understands more and leads for the greater good not the lesser few. Growing up in the west in a pursuit of wealth driven society it is nice to see that Moses’s lesson on humbleness over power is what makes him the most influential leader to Jews and one of the most influential leaders to all other people.

What does Moses’s reluctance say about Jews today? Are we as human beings scattered across a globe living comfortably under different types of government at odds with the type of character and leadership Hashem would like? Or are we so far removed from the Exodus that model is no longer relevant? Comment below or send me a message jeremiah@punktorah.org Twitter: circlepitbimah

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At any rate, here is Dan Sacks from Deleon on his new album, his move abroad and the perils of the Jewish music industry.

Click here to listen to the Deleon Podcast

More info on Deleon’s Spotify project…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcFCu5aSsJ8

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k372K07L8j8

Visit Stereo Sinai online.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ByVqQa218AU

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The Hebrew numbers are vastly multiplying and since dominance is about resource management fear of the other burns brighter and hotter in the hearts and minds of the Egyptians. Enter baby Moses, nothing special about him and the other newly born Hebrew boys except his mother has that rare perfect balance between fear and cunning. Knowing it is only a matter of time before Moses’s short life is made even shorter she places him in a basket and sets him afloat in the same river Pharaoh’s Daughter likes to bathe and relax in; and the stage is set the Hebrew G~d gives the royal family a beautiful baby boy via the sacred Nile River.

Nursed by his own Hebrew mother and loved and courted throughout his adoptive Grandfather’s kingdom Moses truly is the gift from the Hebrew G~d. In fact Moses is Egyptian for “because I drew him out of the water” and he keeps this name for the rest of his life. Like all of us Moses has a weakness, a character flaw, unlike the Patriarch’s flaws he is easily moved to a violent anger. After killing an Egyptian to protect Hebrew slaves he flees to the wilderness finds a wife and is content to settle down and live a quiet full life. Hashem allows this time to run its course before confronting Moses with a charge to return the Hebrews to the Promised Land. Hashem adjusts the spark within Moses allowing him to approach the Egyptians in a way their magicians will understand and respect if not fear.

Returning to the grand halls of his youth this quiet soft spoken man mutters “Pharaoh, let my people go,” and Pharaoh says “no.” Immediately following this discourse Pharaoh strengthens his people’s dominance over our people, what was hard before is now unbearable. The age of the Patriarchs and Matriarchs is unabashedly over and Hashem ushers in the Age of the Prophets with Moses and Aaron.

What symbolism does Moses in a Basket floating in another faiths holy land mean to you? Why do you think Hashem gives Moses the ability to perform miracles in a way the Egyptian magicians will be in awe of? Should Moses have a Hebrew name? Share your thoughts comment below or send me a message jeremiah@punktorah.org Twitter: @circlepitbimah

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Welcome to 10 Tevet: a day long Mourner’s Kaddish.

On 10 Tevet, the Babylonian army laid siege to Jerusalem. Thirty months later, the city walls were breached, and on 9 Av of that same year, the Temple was destroyed. The Jewish people were exiled to Babylonia for 70 years.

After the blast of Hanukkah with food, candles and fun, suddenly our commercial break from reality is interrupted by a fasting period and solemn reflection.

To a degree, 10 Tevet is like a day long kaddish. While Mourners Kaddish marks a sad moment, it’s also uplifting, because the actual kaddish (the Aramaic words you don’t actually know yet somehow angels do) are not that sad at all:

Glorified and sanctified be God’s great name throughout the world which He has created according to His will. May He establish His kingdom in your lifetime and during your days, and within the life of the entire House of Israel, speedily and soon; and say, Amen.

May His great name be blessed forever and to all eternity. 

Blessed and praised, glorified and exalted, extolled and honored, adored and lauded be the name of the Holy One, blessed be He, beyond all the blessings and hymns, praises and consolations that are ever spoken in the world; and say, Amen.

May there be abundant peace from heaven, and life, for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen.

He who creates peace in His celestial heights, may He create peace for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen.

There is a custom that even in dark times, we should say a few good words of hope. Mourner’s Kaddish does that. And for 10 Tevet, I believe that healthy dose of emo, darkwave and 80′s music will be the light at the end of the tunnel. So here’s a YouTube music video list that I hope will make 10 Tevet a little more tolerable. Have a meaningful fast.

The Cure – Boy’s Don’t Cry

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n547VhR1aRY

The Mars Volta – Eriatarka

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjAltxAWTRk

Feeding Fingers – Manufactured Missing Children

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JB6WQh6YylA

Sunny Day Real Estate – 8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XS_tfEjoiss

New Order – Regret

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_r4QGJpsYaE

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As in life dualism places an integral role within Judaism, and at no other time is the clash between religious observance and secular life more evident than as it is with Joseph. Joseph is the patriarch who represents a secular life accompanied by belief in fact our holiday of Hanukkah which is observed during Joseph’s Torah portions is a holiday founded around that clashing of the religious and secular worlds. Very fitting, why is all of this important? Vayechi continues this tradition, Israel blesses Joseph’s sons out of order defying the normal process, Joseph returns Israel’s body to the land of his forefathers for a religious burial, and Joseph stays in Egypt and when he dies is interred under Egyptian customs.

Even today it seems most of the time the secular minded of us are attacking the fundamental foundations of the more religious Jew’s life by trying to impose a different set of day to day values than what they are used to. Depending on where you live the orthodox do the same to us, and unfortunately this will never change. Sometimes a marriage will occur between both worlds other times it may seem we are more cruel to each other than our enemies are to us. We will never be without the other. Eden is the only place within creation where there are only two mitzvot the first is just live and the other is do not eat the fruits of this one tree. If we were all Rabbinic Torah masters what need would we have for the Torah and Jewish fellowship the same is true if we are all righteous secular Jews.

The world we live in demands a Torah and that will never change, what we can change is how we approach the other side. The reasoning which might sway me probably will not work on my polar opposite and it is arrogant to think the same is true when the situation is reversed. I will always need a Rabbi because I am not a Rabbi, just as a Rabbi will always need a student so that he can be a Rabbi.

Where do you think a person should draw a line, if any, between religious and secular pursuits? Have you ever felt singled out for attack by the other side of the same family? We want to hear from you. Comment below or send me a message jeremiah@punktorah.org Twitter: @circlepitbimah.

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Now, before you panic, yes — many kinds of divination are … frowned upon in Jewish tradition.  Of course, if it’s the BESHT doing it — it doesn’t count.  But I’m not the BESHT. Several sources, including the Encyclopedia of Jewish Myth, Magic, and Supersitiion,  call the Jewish tradition of bibliomancy “Sheilat Sefer” (שאלת ספר).   Sheilat Sefer simply means, “Question a Book.” This makes sense since dream interpretation is often called Sheilat Halom – Question a Dream (שאלת חלום).

Techniques like Sheilat Sefer allow us to tap into our deep intuition, and open ourselves to the wisdom of the Divine. They allow us to move beyond our rational minds to finds ideas, answers, or inspiration. Technically you could use any book for this practice, but traditionally it’s done with either a Chumash (The Five Books of Moses) or The Book of Psalms.  But there’s a host of other amazing Jewish (and not Jewish) texts that can provide a powerful experience.  Personally, as the folks at OneShul found out, I like to use the Encyclopedia of Jewish Symbols by Ellen Frankel.  I think the Perek Shirah, the Song of Nature, is another fabulous Jewish text to use for this practice

Curious?  Want to give Sheilat Sefer a try?  It’s pretty easy.  Just grab a book, and flip randomly to a page. Then either without looking put your finger on something and read, or use whatever your eyes first fall upon.  Don’t cheat — that’s really not the way to go.  Just read and see what thoughts,  feelings, or images  the words bring up for you. This all works a bit better if you clear your mind, maybe state your Kavanah (intention) or question, and even give a little prayer to center yourself.  Be sure to also give a prayer of thanks for the wisdom received — even if you don’t feel like you got much!

Want to learn more?  Check out these articles

• Jewish Encyclopedia article on Bibliomancy
• ZEEK: Priestesses, Bibliomancy, and The Anointing of Miriam by R’Jill Hammer
• Peeling a Pomegrante Bookstore – lots of books on and for bibliomancy

——-
Ketzirah is a Kohenet, Celebrant, and Artist. She works with individuals and groups to explore, discover, and create meaningful rituals and ritual artwork to mark moments in life.

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It’s a decision I have gone back-and-forth on for several years. Soon, I will blog about why I made this decision, where I am going, the impact that I feel it will have on PunkTorah (none, but that’s a whole other story), and all the misadventures along the way.

Before I start shooting my mouth off with everything that is going on, here’s a fun video just to celebrate this new phase of things. Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a-s3aw0GZKY

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Joseph up until this point is the quintessential conservative archetype, he worked hard building himself up in wealth and power while maintaining an uncompromising stance in blind faith and “got over” being a slave and prisoner. The Joseph of Vayigash is the polar opposite of this approach, he provides land for his reconciled family to live on using his status as a statesmen, he also negotiates with the populace securing all the land and resources in Egypt for Pharaoh and his government creating a socialized large government, and it works with great success.

What really stood out to me this week is what transpires at the end of the Parsha, where Joseph barters back the land of Egypt from the locals for Pharaoh. As much as I might try to block out what is about to happen in the coming week’s portions in regards to the Hebrews in Egypt I just can not do it. People are not born racist, they are taught racism and yet in a way you can’t teach racism because when you think about it being racist is an impossible state of being for humans what is not is being an “economist.” Living my entire life in the United States stereotypically Jews and East Asians are viewed as smart and crafty but not industrious, anyone with black or brown skin is often portrayed as lazy and dim witted and of course not industrious. The industrious people of American society are the white Christians all of whom have built and maintain the only world super power. This is all ridiculous non-sense but we can see a parallel with our modern society and ancient Egypt. The Torah never mentions Joseph hiding the fact he was a foreign ex-slave who served hard time in prison, because he was able to provide for everyone he was excepted and loved as was his tribe by proxy. As the generations passed the Egyptians forgot about how Joseph showed mercy and treated all like a brother and his kinsmen became the others of society and thus a liability.

What do you think? Was Joseph driven by mercy? How has your views on other cultures within your own changed over the years? Please share post a comment below or send me a message jeremiah@punktorah.org Twitter: circlepitbimah.

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When Adam and Eve ate of the fruit one of the seeds they swallowed was that of privilege and conceit. We all have this seed embedded within in us from birth, but like all seeds for the weed to sprout and grow it must be tended to by a dutiful gardener tending flowers. The remnant of Jacob left in Israel watered, pruned, and nurtured this seed within Joseph causing the weed’s root to sink through his heart piercing his soul. When a weed is that embedded plucking it is no easy feat only completely removing the root will remedy the unwanted affliction.

The only hope for Joseph is an extreme one, sold out of jealousy into slavery by his brothers, he works his way into as good of a situation as a slave can. Due to lust he is cast into prison only to once again make a positive impression with his fellow inmates. The sin of forgetfulness rears its head leaving Joseph abandoned behind bars for a couple more years. Finally, Joseph’s crop of privilege and conceit has withered and been plucked from his soul, mind, and body, he is redeemed and ready for his place as a lynchpin in the Patriarchal succession within Judaism.

Only by the grace of Hashem is Joseph pulled from prison after interpreting Pharaoh’s dreams predicting 7 bountiful years followed by 7 lean years. He shaves his beard…OH NO!!! marries a nice Egyptian girl…WHA WHA WHAT! and starts a very successful and important career as a freed man.

After what seems to be a long agonizing journey Joseph is complete. He has the spiritual integrity, the physical confidence, and the mental wisdom to provide for everyone in the region. Joseph knows what’s coming in just a few short years and yet he is mature enough to start a happy family in the present while working to provide for their needs in the near future. When the 7 lean years arrive and people start to go hungry, because of Joseph Egypt becomes the humanitarian capital of the ancient world. The balance Joseph has achieved within himself has allowed him to enjoy the present while preparing for the future, but what about his past?

No truly complete person can live only in the present with a nod to a prosperous future without coming to terms with lessons learned from their past. Joseph is no exception. When his brothers come to Egypt to purchase food he recognizes them immediately and manages the situation in a way where he will not neglect his duties but will still be reunited with his beloved elderly father. Joseph at this point in his life knows what happened in his past is not all his fault or his fathers or even his brothers. He knows they all played a part in the evil that transpired this realization alone allows for him to finally be reunited with his family.

The concept of patron saints is foreign to Judaism, however if it was part of our tradition I feel Joseph would play a much more prominent role in some circles. I feel a bond with him which I haven’t felt until this week. Like Joseph I do not live in Israel, in fact I am happy living in the southwest region of the United States. Like Joseph I have a Hebrew name and a “Gentile” name. Like Joseph I have been in serious relationships with non-Jews and while in them never compromised my beliefs (don’t worry Kosher Gals I am currently on the market wink wink!) . Most importantly, like Joseph I like to think of myself as someone striving for balance in all aspect of my life.

How have you reconciled your past, present, and future? Where do you struggle when it comes to balancing the mind, body, and spirit? Does being orthodox help solve these problems? Reflect and grow and share. Comment below or send me a message

jeremiah@punktorah.org Twitter: CirclePitBimah

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In other news, thousands of children die every year from drinking unsanitary water, starving, suffering from diseases we cure with a quick ride to Walgreens and getting blown away by terrorists and dictators.

Who cares about Matisyahu’s beard? Apparently 125 people…because that’s the number of people who wrote on his wall comments like, “what, are there only 612 mitzvos now?” and “so have you given up on your faith?”

I have a challenge to the people who are so bored with life that they have to talk lashon hara on Matisyahu’s website: if you are so angry about him “doing off the derech” (which he never claimed he was), then donate $18.00 for every hair he shaved off his face to a charity that helps children and their mommies around the world. HaShem will be delighted that you are doing such amazing work, so much that he’d thank Matisyahu for shaving!

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Vayeshev is the story of Joseph, his coat, his many brothers, his relationship with Mr. and Mrs. Potiphar, and his interactions with the chief Baker and Butler of Pharaoh’s court. If that is not enough for you an interlude involving Judah, his daughter-in-law and the conception and birth of their twin sons Zerah and Perez takes place.

Maybe I approached this week’s portion with a cocky naivety, can you blame me? Vayeshev’s brim is overflowing with people who can just as easily play the hero as well as the villain. All four chapters are full of jealousy, deceit, envy, and self centeredness only to be garnished with modesty, self realization, spiritual growth, and overcoming the hurdles of life, and yet I have nothing insightful to share. In fact I had for lack of a better term an Anti-Vayeshev week. I had a great week. I work from home the majority of the time so when it snowed I was happy to camp out indoors and admire the winter wonderland from my windows and balcony. A couple days after being snowed in the temperature dropped to single digits during the day and sub-zero temperatures over night, again no worries my home is warm and I didn’t have to venture out. Towards the end of the week I went to a surprise party for my best friend, and I received a lot of recognition from my boss for going above and beyond this past year for the company I consult for. I lead a rough life.

As one week ends and the next begins I am looking forward to gleaning spiritual nutrition from the various commentaries I listen to and read which will only help me grow in a way where any arrogance sprouting within me will be plucked like a weed in a garden before causing ill intent in others, where I will not let jealousy drive my actions, and where I will have the foresight to avoid acts which will later result in being outed as a hypocrite.

How does the lessons found within Vayeshev aid you in your day to day acts? What advice can you offer the rest of us? We want to know comment below or send me a message. jeremiah@punktorah.org Twitter: CirclePitBimah.

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Ketzirah in the Fairy Lights (c 2000)

So I’m sitting here listening to Matisyahu rock it on the Miracle remix EP and thinking about Hanukkah.  I’ve been having this nearly heretical thought lately.  I know, not shocking for me — but go with it.

Hanukkah is the festival of lights – right?

The solstice aspect and the reviving of the light is even older than the Maccabee aspect, if you think about it.  There’s certainly ancient midrash about Adam at the solstice and such.  The central ritual activity is lighting the 9-branch menorah called a Hanukkiah. Just about everything else we added on over the centuries, which is just fine.

But let’s go back to that light thing again.  It’s the festival of lights….

Okay, so here’s what I’m thinking about.  All those super pretty lights, preferably the white ones – not the tacky color ones, that our Christian neighbors put up this time of year.  Yeah…we have the festival of lights, but they put up the lights? I know it could be seen as the height of assimilation, but what if we adopted white lights on our homes too.  It seems like the urge to put all those lights and candles up all springs from a deep mythic place where we are all afraid of the dark.  Where we’re all afraid that the sun really won’t come back and it will just keep getting darker and darker.

I know when I walk home during the winter I’m so grateful for all those lights.  They push back the darkness.  The remind me, even the tacky ones, that I have neighbors and I’m not alone in the world. Someone must be there to make those lights  happen right?

Trust me, I’m not for the Christmas-ization of Hanukkah.  I had a “Hanukkah Bush” when I was a kid.  It makes me a bit ill in retrospect. There’s just no way that tacky white plastic tree had anything to do with the Jewish wheel of the year. But lights I think we have a pretty valid claim on.  I know traditional Judaism likes to put as many walls between us and breaking mitzvot as they can, but would some pretty white lights be so wrong during these dark days?

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You may remember my friend who was so inspired by seeing another person davening at the airport, that he (and I) got our own set of tefillin. If not, you can read the original blog post here. He’s been busy – both in his “regular” work life, traveling and doing what he does; and spiritually, slowly taking on the mitzvah of wrapping tefillin and taking a moment to connect with The Infinite each morning. But so far it’s been a private affair. Each morning in his hotel room or home, he’s been able to set aside the requisite minutes and then pack up his things and move on with his day. Until this week. I got this on Monday:

“My first time laying Tefilin in a public place, at the airport. I think I violated Halacha, too early, but it was either now or later in the day in CA. I am confident HaShem understands. I found it tough to concentrate even though it was very quiet this early. Hopefully comes with practice.”

…and then on Thursday morning, this follow-up:

“In Sacramento, found a relatively quiet spot but still  surrounded by people, first time “in public”,was very self conscience, sort of weird. Actually alerted the gate agent that these were not bombs I was strapping to my arm and head. Did I scare people or cause personal reflection in others, move them to greater understanding or a desire to learn, cause them to scoff at ancient rituals, or be in awe of them, who knows. Is it unfeeling to think “who cares” this is between me and my G-D?“

In talking with him about it, I made the following observation:

I think – once you get past the initial self consciousness that comes with any new habit – it is perfectly reasonable to focus on your experience. It’s not a show after all. You aren’t responsible for others’ perception. It seems very much like your habits of exercise and vegetarian lifestyle. You don’t do it for show, you don’t draw focus to it. You do it for you. You are willing to talk about it with people who approach you, but otherwise, it’s a non-event. Your davening is (or will become) part of you, your routine. If others derive inspiration that is great, but it’s a by-product.

The conversation made me reflect on my own experience with tefillin so far. I’ve been traveling for the last 3 weeks - something that I haven’t done in a few years – and I discovered it to be easier to make time for ritual when I don’t have carpools, homework, or plunging toilets to distract me. Which was an interesting counterpoint to a post  by The Velveteen Rabbi, where (as a new mother) she is coming to terms with the challenge of juggling the irresistible force of her baby’s needs with the immovable object of the time-bound mitzvot.

It comforted me to realize that there might be a natural ebb and flow in all this, so I don’t have to worry about being “there”. I should just stay focused on being “here” and moving toward “there”.

Originally posted on The Edible Torah

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If the menorah is considered  “the most central role of all the sacred vessels, for it is the symbol of light,” and a symbol of spiritual illumination — then it’s safe to assume that this is also the role the Hanukkiah plays.  Hanukkah is a strange holiday because it’s not only post-biblical, but also two holidays smooshed together.  I guess we have a lot of holidays that are two smooshed together, though.  Most commonly Hanukkah is the holiday that celebrates the victory of the Maccabbees over the Greeks, and the “miracle of the oil.”  It’s also a Winter Solstice (Tekufat Tevet) holiday, that acknowledges the darkness of the year and returning of the light.  That’s actually found in ancient midrash, it’s not just some modern “new agey” thing.  It’s even one of the stories I included in the Hanukkah Haggadah!

The lighting of the Hanukkah menorah offers wonderful opportunities for spiritual refreshment and renewal.  This year, toss away the annual debates over whether or not Hanukkah is important or just a reaction to Christmas.  Don’t worry about the ethics of celebrating the victory in a war (and that the Maccabees were total zealots, who probably would have killed many of us too…).  Embrace our own holiday of lights at its root level — light.

What do you want to light up?  What areas of your life, your heart, your soul need light?  Dedicate your entire Hanukkiah to bringing light into an area in your life.  Let each candle represent a step along the way, and watch the light grow over the eight days!  Take this time to rededicate yourself — to whatever you need to rededicate yourself.  Bring back the light in your own life, and rejoice in our very special holiday of lights!

Ketzirah is a Kohenet, Celebrant, and Artist. Her mission is to help others experience the best life possible by connecting with the Divine presence, physical resources, creative expression, and communal ritual experience.

Originally posted here: Hanukkiah: Symbol of Kislev | Peeling a Pomegranate http://www.peelapom.com/wheel-of-the-year/chanukah/hanukkiah-symbol-of-kislev/#ixzz1fPdj3kkP

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Almost half way through Genesis this week’s portion reads almost the same as the previous portions just with different names. Jacob is deceived in a similar way in which he deceived his father Isaac, Rachel becomes increasingly jealous at Leah and Bilhah for conceiving Jacob’s children, Laban covets Jacob’s wealth, and Hashem intervenes once again this time with dreams.

What sets Vayetze apart is Jacob’s ladder dream with celestial beings climbing up and down. At first I am a little puzzled that a ladder and not a tree appears in his dream. Trees are so important to Jews of all walks, trees represent life, knowledge, and mysticism, plus like a ladder you can climb up and down. So why a ladder and not a tree? Trees are climbed for fun but ladders are climbed for work. When you climb a ladder you look up or down and then move a rung consciously in your desired direction. Climbing a tree you scurry, reach, jump, swing, and smile your way around and down. Hashem placed a ladder in Jacob’s dream to show him and us that just living life in a way where you just go with the flow while easy is not what is expected from us. Hashem forgets nothing and through his covenants He is being patient and working really hard with humanity to get us back to a Eden-esq or Messianic state of being. The Ten Commandments are being written one by one on the tablets in Sinai they just will not be finished until many years later after Moses climbs the mountain like a ladder a second time.

Today we may have better technology, more comfortable lives, and more transparency in society but at our core our dilemmas are no different than those faced by Jacob. The ancient world is no more or less savage than the one today. Not just in war zones or developing countries but everywhere even in the only super power left in the world. I remember once when I was kid I decided to climb a pine tree. For over an hour I battled with bark in my eye, limbs scrapping open my skin, sap dripping all over me. It was a slow and painful process but I kept reaching and striving for that next rung of branches. When I made it to the top sure I was happy but I knew I would have to start the same painful process to descend. I may have went home with my eyes red and swollen, with blood oozing out of my hands and arms, and my clothes and hair matted with sap but I learned a lesson that is still with me to this day. The easy way is to just stay where your at flowing with the good and bad at the same time. Taking the first step in either direction is hard work in fact so hard that each additional step after the first is just another first step.

I challenge all of you to strive for that first step up, counter complacency and the wicked who are taking steps down. Tikkun Olam can only start inside of you.

What first steps have you worked hard to take? Do you ever stop for a break? Tell us about it comment below or message me jeremiah@punktorah.org Twitter: @circlepitbimah

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Today, in a display of just how awesome the Internet can be sometimes, I stumbled upon a site named “thxthxthx“.

Leah Dieterich, the author, sets out on an exercise in thankfulness – to write one thank-you note a day. Sometimes tongue-in-cheek (“Dear Meeting, thank you so so so so much for being over“), sometimes funny (“Dear Spring, thank you for making boys want to eat salad“) and often disarmingly sincere (“Dear orange tree, thanks for convincing anyone that LA is a magical place.“), her blog posts stopped me in my tracks.

How often can we see past our own immediate circumstances to find and be thankful for what each moment has to offer?

How often do we take the chance to actually thank someone in a thoughtful and mindful way – not just “thanks a lot”, but actual acknowledgement for what that person has done (beyond what they have done for us) in that moment?

How often do we stop ourselves on purpose, to proactively find something to be thankful for?

If I were being trite, I would thank everyone who took the time to read this post.

If I were in a suck-uppy kind of mood I would thank Leah for her blog, or Seth Godin for once again finding useful nuggets of Internet goodness.

Instead, I’m going to take a longer long view, and thank everything that caused the Internet (yes, the whole thing) to come into being and in a form where it feeds me music and inspires me from so many unexpected sources, allowing me to write this blog post and still keep up with all the other work I need to accomplish before I can thankfully fall into a soft bed and sleep uninterrupted for a few hours.

Originally posted on The Edible Torah

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Start A Facebook Fan Page

Get a Fan Page on Facebook and start hunting down like-minded people in your area. A synagogue with only one person is kinda sad. So before you do anything, make sure that there are people interested in what you want. Don’t be surprised if Liberal Christians, Muslims and other random people fan your shul-in-progress. Some people just love friending Jewish profiles. Chalk it up to Philo-Semitism.

It also helps if you already have two or three friends who are as hardcore about this as you are. I am a firm believer in keeping things small and streamlined. Plus, these friends are the people who are each going to invite another friend. Random Facebook blasting really only gets you so far.

Build Your Core

Invite your fan page over for coffee and dessert. Use this time to discuss issues of what they want out of a community (events, prayer times, halachka, minhagim, etc).

Very important: you came up with the idea, which means that no matter how much delegation of authority you do, you will ultimately always be the leader. If you don’t want this position, then do not go any further.

Find A Cool Space

If you have a nice house, then you can always take a spare room, an attic, or some place like that and build one out. I’m a big fan of flex or mixed-zoned locations, so if you have any interest in moving, why not find a place like a loft or condo that is in a heavily commercial area. That way, you can live there, and people will have plenty of room to park. Think Chabad on this one.

Craigslist is a great real estate tool, especially if you are like me and rent.

Make A Budget

The great thing about an indie minyan is that it doesn’t have the financial needs that shuls have. But here are a few things to think about:

Tools For Shuls. You’ll need kippot, siddurim, Shabbat stuff, Havdalah stuff, etc. Can you get these from other people? Often people will have kippot left over from weddings and bar mitzvahs, so that is a likely option. Know someone who collects Judaica who could loan a few things? What about a bibliophile who has some awesome Jewish books? Start with what you have, then work on your Amazon wish list.

Of course, independent minyanim can always get copies of the OneShul community siddur at cost (around $3/book), including free shipping. Just email patrick@punktorah.org and we can make that happen.

Have a vision. Does your indie minyan need to rent a rabbi twice a year for High Holidays, or are you just getting together for a lay led Shabbat? Are you going to start a Hebrew school? Side note: old folks make great Hebrew teachers. Retired Jews are an amazing educational asset to our community that are under appreciated).

Once you have these issues worked out, build a budget. Then take whatever the total is (whether it’s $200 or $200,000) and add 10% to it. Call this line item “innovation”. Every good company or organization pads their budget by 10% for development of cool projects, or bold initiatives that may or may not work out.

Start Having Events

Havdalah is a great event to have as a fundraiser and community builder. You can fundraise on Havdalah, people can bring food, play instruments, kids can play games and watch TV if they are bored. And in my experience, Havdalah is the most underrated Jewish event, which means that even if you live in a community with a thousand synagogues, you’ll still be the only game in town as far as Saturday night Judaism.

Potlucks are a great thing as well. Frankly, I think all good religions appreciate potlucks. They are free, which is awesome as well…and people have fun swapping recipes.

Also, have a tzedakah box by the door for collecting donations.Don’t be afraid to ask for money, if you need it.

Build Your Shul

Asher Meza of BeJewish.org has a great video on how he and a rabbi in Richmond built a shul in the rabbi’s attic. Home Depot, EBay, and Amazon made that place happen! Check out this video below…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoBx7xbEiFc

Get Online — Even More Than Now

OK, so maybe I’m a liberal kook, but streaming your events online is about the best thing you can do, ever. Again, OneShul can help you with that. It’s not hard if you stay organized and have internet upload speeds of at least 1.5MBPS. Heck, even FrumSatire is talking about how Orthodox minyanim need to go online!

Grow, Grow, Grow!

Don’t allow yourself to think that ten people is enough. Maybe your indie shul will only have ten people for the first year, or three years, or five years even. But keep growing! Keep flyers with you in your bag/purse. Put them in JCCs, bookstores, community centers, wherever Jewish folks can be found. I suggest putting them in the token kosher section of your major grocery store chain (the staff will throw them away, but why not??)

Help Us, Help You

OneShul is an indie minyan. We know what we’re talking about. So send an email to patrick@punktorah.org or rivka@punktorah.org and we’ll shoot you in the right direction.

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This portion is about twin brothers who when looked at as one person create a deep, complicated, driven individual. The Quarrel between the two is really the conflict we all deal with on a daily basis within ourselves. Jacob leaves his mother’s womb clinging to his brothers heal. This tells us that in Rebecca’s womb as each body split and grew into Esau and Jacob there was a struggle. Esau being the physically stronger was able fight his way out first, Jacob while physically weaker was mentally determined to never give up by clinging to his brother.

As they grew older Esau was manly, hairy, loud, an outdoors man or the extrovert. Jacob was delicate, smooth skinned, quiet, an indoors man or the introvert. The extrovert in the here and now is always dominant while the introvert is able to visualize a goal and piece by piece work towards it only to dominate later. When Esau ate Jacob’s soup he was dominating because he had the soup and was no longer hungry Jacob on the other hand knew what he ultimately wanted and while giving up his meal was able to take a step towards his ultimate goal by making a trade for Esau’s birthright. Later on he tricks his father Isaac into giving him what would have been Esau’s blessing and Esau Jacob’s blessing enraging Esau. Esau’s rage is not at his mother for conspiring against him with Jacob or at his father for going along with the charade, but at his other half Jacob and by default himself.

How often do each of us allow our thoughts and actions to clash within us. How often do you let insecurities stop you from simply just getting better. Better at physical pursuits and better intellectually. There are many times when I am my worst enemy when I quarrel within myself for not being the strongest, the most outgoing, the wittiest. What is your quarrel? How have you reconciled your extrovert and introvert sides? Let us know comment below or message me jeremiah@punktorah.org Twitter: @circlepitbimah,

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And Ima on (and off) the Bima has once again posted not one but 3 amazing Thanksgiving “seders” for you to use before, during or after carving the bird. Your time would be well-spent to check them out.

However, here at EdibleTorah HQ I believe that irreverence is a skill best learned early and practiced often. So I was excited to find excerpts from Andrew Silow Carroll’s never-to-be-published opus: Company’s Coming: A Thanksgiving Haggadah for Non-Jews and Other Gentiles.

I have reprinted it here, for your enjoyment:

Every year around this time, the American Jewish Committee sponsors interfaith events, based on their 2001 publication America’s Table: A Thanksgiving Haggadah. The contents are modeled on the Passover Seder, with prayers, readings and rituals.

The problem is that while these events promote fellowship and tolerance, they don’t fully convey the Seder experience for a non-Jewish audience.

That’s why I’ve written Company’s Coming: A Thanksgiving Haggada for Non-Jews and Other Gentiles. Some excerpts:

The table: The Thanksgiving table is set with traditional ritual objects, including your best china, a paper turkey made by one of the children, and an animal-shaped soup tureen. According to tradition, the tureen is hideously ugly and is being brought out on this day because the aunt who gave it to you is invited to dinner.

Welcoming the guests: As the guests gather in the front hall, the youngest child no longer in diapers is asked to take their coats and put them in an upstairs bedroom. Parents are to recite the age-old admonition, “And place them nicely – don’t just throw them.”

The Blessing: Before the meal, two toasts are recited: The first, by the teenagers, is mocking and inappropriate; the second, thanking God, is self-conscious and slightly uncomfortable for everyone at the table. (This is in contrast to the closing blessing, said with deep feeling by the host and hostess: “Thank God we don’t have to do this again for another year.”)

The Bitter Herb: No one knows the origins of this ancient custom, but it involves keeping the liquor away from your angriest guest. In some families he is named “Herb”; in others it is Morris or Aunt Faye.

The Four Questions:

No Thanksgiving Seder is complete without these timeless queries:

1. Why is my plate different from everyone else’s plate?
2. Is there gluten in the stuffing?
3. What’s the score?
4. What were you thinking when you invited Aunt Faye?

The four answers:

The adults answer the questions, for as the Talmud says, “Who is the wise person? The one who speaks louder than everyone else.”

1. “I ran out of the good china. Your turkey will taste the same on a paper plate. Yes it will. Oh for God’s sake – Sari, will you change with Daniel?”
2. “The casserole and the green beans don’t have any nuts. There may be soy in the salad dressing. The kugel has eggs – can you eat eggs?”
3. “Since Mr. Prince Charming would rather watch a football game than have dinner with his family once a year, let’s ask him. Herb, what’s the score?”
4. “She joking, Aunt Faye. You know Ruth, always a joker.”

The Thanksgiving Story: The guests take turns reciting the tale of the first Thanksgiving. Since no one actually remembers the story, guests are encouraged to contribute whatever hazy memories they may have from elementary school, touching on the following points:

The Pilgrims left England on the Mayflower so they could worship freely in America. Some of the famous passengers included Miles Standish, Priscilla Mullins, Margaret Thatcher and Ichabod Crane. They landed at Plymouth Rock. It was a bitter cold winter. They met a kind Indian – Squanto, or maybe Pocahontas. One of those. The Indian helped them plant their first corn crop using fish. Then they had a big feast to thank the Indians.

No, I don’t know if the corn tasted like fish. I don’t know why people need belt buckles on their hats. Yes, I’m pretty sure about Ichabod Crane. We’re getting off the point here. The point is we have a feast to remember the brave Pilgrims who settled Plymouth.

The Rebuttal: At this point, it is customary for someone to rebut the Thanksgiving story. Perhaps it is Cousin Leora, home from Brandeis, who reminds the guests that Thanksgiving actually commemorates the genocide of the Indians. Or maybe Uncle Stan will describe the Pilgrims as “anti-Semitten.” Either rebuttal is acceptable.

The Meal: Before the eating of the festive meal comes the carving of the oversized turkey. Like Thanksgiving itself, this is an act begun in a spirit of great enthusiasm but, after 30 minutes or so with a dull knife and confusion about the turkey’s anatomy, ends with muttered curses and a platter of torn and mangled bird flesh. Bon appetit!

Light and Dark: Our monotheistic tradition is one of separation: day from night, kosher from non-kosher, Lewis from Martin. So it is with the white meat from the dark. Whosoever shall choose the dark meat shall choose the dark meat, and whosoever shall choose the white meat will probably need extra gravy. Ken y’

hi ratzon

.

Dessert: Unusual for a carefully structured seder, the Thanksgiving dessert has no formal ritual requirements. In some homes, however, the men shall recline to one side, loosen their belt buckles, and groan. Others groan first, then loosen their belt buckles. Consult your local rabbi.

The Conclusion: The guests recite, “The Thanksgiving Seder is concluded, according to each detail with all its laws and customs. As we have been privileged to celebrate this seder, so may we face minimal traffic on the Hudson River crossings. And we say together: Next year at someone else’s house!”

Andrew Silow-Carroll is Editor in Chief of the New Jersey Jewish News. Originally posted on The Edible Torah

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We’re so psyched that Limmud Boston is bringing us to their day long Limmud festival to film The G-d Project! We will be hosting a great session on what the American Jewish community really thinks about God, spirituality and everything in between, as well as filming everyone at the festival for our website and documentary.

Expect all kinds of great presenters, panels, and fun music! Here’s all the links you need. See you at Limmud Boston!

http://limmudboston.org/

Session Schedule

http://limmudboston2011.sched.org

and of course, Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/LimmudBoston

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My memories of Camp Ramah are vivid but fleeting: smiling children dove and swam all the way across the screen as the projector rolled in my after-school Hebrew School in suburban Connecticut.

I never did persuade my parents to send me to Camp Ramah. But it certainly was not for lack of trying. Throughout my childhood years working my way through public school, I craved what those smiling children represented to me: a sense of community, built off the commonality of a shared Jewish identity; a place with people like me.

I first found this Jewish community for myself in perhaps the most unlikely of places – Princeton University, to be exact. I found religion too, and my husband. But when anyone would ask on a deeper, more psychological level why I choose to be religious, or start a family, I would come back to this core, human concept of the search for community (or my equally innate and possibly related desire to cook and feed people – but that’s a story for another time).

Post-college until the present, my husband and I have found ourselves in non-transient, suburban Modern Orthodox communities as young married adults with less-than-school-age children. We’ve discovered that, for better or for worse, the world is not a college campus. The casual observer of Modern Orthodox life might ask: really? Communal meals, organized programming, living walking distance from one’s closest friends – surely this all exists for both populations.

The truth is that my demographic is a hard sell, in Modern Orthodox circles and beyond. It’s not that the communities we’ve lived in haven’t given us a warm welcome, because they have. And it’s definitely not my lack of a desire to participate in local, community-building activities.

The usual excuses for my demographic holding back include our preoccupations with our budding careers and attention-demanding babies. While this may have been true historically and may even still be true currently, I believe the root of the issue comes to the complexity of the concept of community in today’s world. Who is your community? Your 1,067 “friends” on Facebook? Your family and friends developed over your 20-something years including, yes, former college roommates, who, probability has it, are now spread around the country, if not the world? The people in your inbox, Google hangout, or Twitter stream, who you may or may not have met in person? These avenues and more all lead to an inevitable feeling of hyper-global-connectivity, and the Modern Orthodox just as well as anyone else of this generation face multi-faceted decisions about where, how, and why to invest their community-building efforts, and with whom.

The issue of community has become so murky that there are those who declare it irrelevant and passé entirely. I beg to differ, and not only because of the weekly thud back into the territory of the local and non-virtual known as Shabbat. I differ because of this longing I have felt from such a young age to feel connected, supported, and identified with on a basic and intimate level. Technology’s increase of the number and variety of means to connect aids but does not necessarily abet such natural desires.

Given all of this, perhaps it’s not terribly surprising that personally, and rather unconsciously, I ended up professionally fixating on the issue of community and how to build it in a Jewish world, transdenominationally. I want to help people connect on personal, Jewish levels, to answer these needs for each other, and to create more ways to expand and spread this supportive community. I want people to see all the advantages of having opportunities to connect, locally as well as globally, personally as well as professionally – because the lines between these categories seem to be blurring all the time.

Through the process of doing this, I have even found ways to fulfill needs of community for myself. Yet while I have developed plenty of processes for community-building, I do not know of a singular answer to the questions around community – especially when it comes to the simplest ones, like what it is or where to find it. Rather, I believe engaging in the exploratory process is part of the point. I believe that community-building is a life-long journey, and however much effort you invest in it, relationship by relationship, you will see a corresponding reward. That’s the fabric of life, and one I want to teach my children to weave – whether or not I send them to Camp Ramah.

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Click below to download the newest chapters by Rivkah Raven.

Ha’azinu & Vezot Habrakha

Bereishit

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This may seem like a transitional portion but an underlining concept is present; and that concept is choices. Reflecting over the previous portions in this year’s cycle the choices made form a linking chain. The interesting thing is most of these decisions are made by our matriarchs giving them a feminine flavor over a masculine one. The idea of masculine and feminine means a lot more than the outline on the public restroom door you use they represent everything from language rules to the approach someone takes during real life situations. In the Torah we see where the feminine approach is more cerebral while the masculine is more physical. Think about it Eve chooses to partake of the fruit Adam follows suit. Sarah chooses to build a life and family with Abraham, while he acts out of fear to preserve his own well being; and ultimately it is Rebecca’s choice to leave her home only to, believe it or not, fall in love with Isaac and what does Isaac do he takes her into his tent and weds her.

I could go on and on categorizing events in Torah as masculine or feminine but its more beneficial for each of us to reflect and do that ourselves. Which pieces of our collective history do you view as masculine and which do you view as feminine? Comment below I want to know what you think. Or message me jeremiah@punktorah.org Twitter:@circlepitbimah.

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In Vayeira the split between Abraham’s first son Ishmael and his younger son Isaac takes place. Two brothers, two nations, two faiths, two names that start with the letter I, and it is precisely that I (or you, me. Etc.) against I . We as created beings infused with the knowledge of good and evil are constantly at odds with ourselves and others to the Nth degree. Call it religion, opinion, politics, or whatever we like labels and we like taking sides. For example, this faith of ours has numerous denominations and right now Chasidic and unaffiliated liberal Judaism are popular while everything in between seems to be struggling a little. It’s so very hard not to be dismissive of the other. Being accepting of the other side of the coin is scary it’s like saying I might be wrong, and who would ever want to be that?

Sarah’s disappointment in herself leads to unneeded pressures within her home. Ishmael is likened to a stubborn animal only because his father’s preferred wife is jealous of him while his mother his jealous of Sarah. He is a boy placed into a domestic war zone by others, of course he is going to be difficult at times. Think about this when Sarah makes Hagar and Ishmael leave their home Abraham is saddened while Hashem provides for them in the wilderness, He even blesses Ishmael by allowing him to father a nation. On the other side of the line we read that Isaac is the son whom Abraham loves. Talk about a tangled web woven.

Here is why this is so important today. Many of us try and foster this ideal of the individual who is diverse and complex yet often at times we forget how to just live our lives with others. Dialogue and debate are crucial for a healthy community, but there is a time for that and a time to sit down, break bread, and laugh with those around you. It is important to live life and that can only truly be done when you and those around you are healthy in mind, body, and spirit. If all you dwell on is which side of the aisle some of your views may rest you will never foster a healthy life. Know what you believe and why just be able to foster that sense of a little bit of Eden while living your life day to day.

Just as both brothers survived and prospered so can we as individuals and as a community. I want to know what you think! Comment below or send me a note. Jeremiah@punktorah.org Twitter @circlepitbimah.

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Click here to download the next two chapters of Steampunk Torah.

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Judgement House, an outreach tool of some evangelical churches, is “a walk-through drama that presents the truth of people’s choices versus the consequences of those decisions both in this life and the next.”

Housed inside the church, your group walks through a series of different rooms, elaborate decorated with lights, props and actors playing out different scenes that showcase the characters descent into…well…Heaven or Hell. The goal at the end of the Judgement House is to get you to be so shell shocked that you end up becoming a Christian.

Our Judgement House adventure took us to Mountain View Church in Marietta, GA, an upper middle class suburb of Atlanta. There we purchased tickets for two (a $10 donation), filled out guest cards with our email addresses, and proceeded into the the walking drama. I wish I had photos and video, but alas, they are not allowed.

The story begins with a group counseling session. This is where we meet our three protagonists, Bill, Tanya and Jake.

Bill is a middle aged man who in therapy admits to having been molested as a kid. His counselor suggests he take up journaling as a way to deal with his grief.

Tanya, played by a slightly older woman, has also been molested and from her admission at this group session, has used drugs, alcohol and sex to cope with the deep pain.

Our other main character, Jake, is a twenty something kid with a slightly embarrassing neck tattoo a la Target Employee (the actor had a painted-on tattoo, so no, I’m not being a jerk here). We don’t know much about Jake, except that he is a born again Christian.

In the play, Tanya storms out of therapy after admitting to having been abused as a child. In the next scene, we find her and Jake at a bar. Tanya is wasted: Jake comes in after her, and of course, only drinks water.

This is our first glimpse into the Christian aspect of the play: in the bar scene, Jake tries to convince Tanya that the only way she can free herself from shame and guilt is by becoming a Christian. Tanya flips out (again) and storms out of the bar.

We then find ourselves in Bill’s flashback to childhood. In this room, we are transported back to the 1970′s where Bill (now called Billy) is sitting alone in his bedroom. Who comes knocking on the door but Mr. Walker, your friendly neighborhood pedophile who proceeds to sit on Billy’s bed. The lights suddenly go out, and molestation is insinuated but of course nothing graphic happens. I have to admit, Judgement House’s don’t-show-the-monster cinematic technique was very, very good. My friend later recalled, “I wanted to get all Jewish mother on him and beat the crap out of that actor”. My favorite part of the molestation scene was that Mr. Walker looked like the uncle from Napoleon Dynamite.

The choice to use molestation as the theme of the play was wise. Other forms of Judgement Houses have used abortion, homosexuality, and school shootings. Judgement House (which is a pre-packaged church product sold online) focuses on non-controversial subject matter that is still shocking, but isn’t going to lose people too quickly. This is wise. I can see liberals going into these things and losing the message when their favorite political button gets pushed. No one, except Mr. Walker The Pedo-stached, would think molestation was a good thing.

Back to Tanya. We are lead outside to the scene of an accident. Tanya tried to drive drunk, and of course, is splattered out on the concrete with Jake dead in the car as well. Bummer.

This is where things get really freaky. Like…woah.

Our next stop is the Judgement Room. There, a St. Peter-esque character proceeds with judging Tanya and Jake. Tanya, of course, goes to hell and Jake goes to heaven. The part that really bothered me was the “interactive” aspect of this scene. The angelic figure called out the names of three people from our group, myself included, and asked us to rise. I did, grudgingly. He then told us that we had a choice between heaven and hell and asked what we make our choice. We never get to choose, as everyone is then escorted out of the room and into the hell scene. I think my major beefs with this Judgement Room are that they didn’t pronounce my name correctly. Also, why did I get picked to be one of the judged? What did my card say that spelled, “evil Heeb”? And lastly, isn’t G-d supposed to be the judge, not some random angel? Oh, well.

Now we’re in hell, which is decorated like a coffee shop. Demonic figures read the newspaper (apparently hell is a big fan of USA-Today). Tanya walks in, and Satan tells her that she is in hell. Tanya gets dragged off to be tortured forever. Satan then breaks the “third wall” by telling the audience that the majority of people in the world go to hell and he looks forward to seeing us there. Majority? Yikes.

Next, we’re at the gravesite of Mr. Walker. Bill/Billy is now much older. He has been looking for Mr. Walker so he could confront him. Crying by the gravesite, Bill tells Mr. Walker that he has found Jesus and forgives him for the pain and shame that he put him through. Again, shame and guilt.

A new character walks into the room, someone we have never seen before. He then offers to lead everyone in prayer. Me and my friend of course were wide eyed, looking at each other with a collective, “why did we think this was a good idea” glare. The man asked in several different ways if the group would like to commit or recommit to Christianity. We later speculated if he was the pastor of the church.

We are now in heaven, which looks like the set of the Trey Parker and Matt Stone play, The Book of Mormon. A very Anglo Jesus, pierced hands and all, is standing with a court of teenaged angels who dance and sing about him. After a Sparkle Motion style dance number to some Contempo-Christian-Rock, Jesus tells us to choose him as messiah. Jesus then walks up to each member of the audience and shakes their hand, welcoming them to heaven. When he got to me, I refused to shake his hand…not because I wouldn’t shake hands with an actor who is convinced I am going to hell, but because I have a cold and didn’t want the actor to get sick. I’m polite, I guess. Two of the young angels announce that “Jake is here!” and we see good ol’ Jake and Jesus paling around together.

We leave heaven and are escorted to a hallway, where we are given the opportunity to speak with counselors and to pray with people or accept Jesus. My friend gave me a nod like, “you know you want to say something, so go in there and give it to them”. I didn’t. What is the use? They think I’m going to burn for eternity, and I’m on their turf. Besides, that’s what blogging is for.

We left, went back to her house, and had hummus and eggplant pie (the recipe will soon be on NewKosher).

I’m a very ecumenical person. I believe, as all good Jews believe, that the righteous of all faiths will inherit the world to come. But I have to say, Judgement House, and it’s many forms (Hell House, Hells Gate, etc.) are the sickest, most twisted thing I have ever experienced in my life.

The common words used in the play are “guilt” and “shame”. It’s true that people who suffer sexual abuse do have these kinds of feelings. Throughout the play, we are exposed to what Bill and Tanya have used as coping mechanisms. The unfortunate part is that the language of guilt and shame are so fluid, that we lose sight as to whether the shame and guilt that Jesus takes away from an individual is the shame and guilt of their coping mechanisms or the shame and guilt of molestation. This disturbs me. Victims should not feel guilt and shame for their abuse and on top of that, should not feel shame for their coping mechanisms. If you have suffered trauma and are using chemicals to cope with it, don’t feel shameful. You have earned the right to that bottle of booze. Rather, ask yourself if that’s how you really want to live…and if you want something else, seek professional help. Don’t feel guilty!

I wonder what would happen if victims of childhood abuse were brought to this play. How would they feel about the presentation?

The black and white nature of the evangelical heaven/hell scenario also bothers me quite a bit. At one point, Bill tells Mr. Walkers grave that he hopes he accepted Jesus in his lifetime. Really? I refuse to worship a G-d that lets Mr. Pedophile off the hook and makes Tanya the broken alcoholic who was raped by her mom’s boyfriend burn for eternity.

This leads me to two points about Jewish life. First, these Christian evangelists have a very clear, black and white message. We don’t. And I think that is a problem.

Why should Jewish people continue with Jewish life? Continuity? The Holocaust? Tradition? It’s a vague thing where everyone decides what they think is important. I like that! But in reality, the evangelicals have a much stronger, more powerful message. As someone who spent years in marketing, I can tell you that a clear, focused mission statement and brand are crucial. I worry that we, the Jewish people, don’t have that.

Secondly, I am worried about how all of this plays into our support for Israel. It’s no secret that evangelicals are a huge support base for Israel. In fact, one of the actors in the play was wearing an Israel/America pin. But if you believe that the Jews are going to hell (like everyone else who isn’t a Christian), then take that pin off your jacket. You can’t support Israel while not supporting the Jewish people. It’s a contradiction of the worst kind. I understand that evangelicals believe we are going to hell. But you know what? I don’t worry about going to hell. The Jewish people have been to hell and back already!

So in closing, I think we should have our own Judgement House. I would call it Holocaust House. It starts with the last few scenes of Anne Frank’s life. We are then lead into a gas chamber where she and her family die. Next, we go into a crematoria and watch her body get turned to ash. Finally, we end up in the hell room, where she and her entire family burn for eternity. Why? Apparently a nazi storm trooper TRIED to get them to accept Christ, but they wouldn’t. And that’s a darn shame.

Sounds harsh? You bet! But here’s the thing: if you really do believe that life, and more specifically, the afterlife, is that cut and dry, then you have to believe that six million victims of the Holocaust are in hell. It’s intellectually dishonest not to. The writers of Judgement House were able to believe that someone like Tanya the Boozehound would go to hell, because she did “terrible things” to cope with her pain. There’s a certain element of “you deserved it” in that kind of writing. If you take it out of that context, and into a context where a completely innocent person is doomed for eternity, suddenly, things seem a little different.

I don’t believe that most Christians feel the way that Judgement House presents the afterlife. I’ve met way too many cool Christians, particularly in the Emergent Church, who would call these walking dramas a sin themselves. I hope for a time where things like Judgement Houses, or Hell Houses, or whatever you want to call them, are a relic of the past. K’hi ratzon, may it be G-d’s will.

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Photo: Calm Sea by Hans Kylberg, used by CC-A permission

Cheshvan is a month with no holidays, which makes it “Mar Cheshvan,” or bitter Cheshvan to some (there’s also the reading of the Flood — but we’ll save that for another time).  For me, I think it’s a great time to breath and take stock after the whirlwind of high holiday season.  In Cheshvan we’ve finished with Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, Simchat Torah and all the days in between!

In thinking about how to best use the “time off” in Cheshvan, I thought it seemed like the perfect month to explore one of the myriad of Jewish practices that we haven’t adopted into our lives.  If you’re Orthodox, there’s even room for you to explore some of the more modern adaptations of traditional practices.   For the rest of us, I’m guessing there’s plenty of practices we’ve heard about, thought about, and maybe even studied —  but really haven’t tried out for ourselves.

To act as a guide to these practices and where to even begin, I highly recommend The Rituals & Practices of a Jewish Life: A Handbook for Personal Spiritual Renewal.  I first read this book a couple of years back and decided to read it again a few weeks ago.  I find it to be a very good guide to Jewish practice, and especially for how to even get started with many of these practices that can seem like a life commitment or nothing.

If even this seems overwhelming, then pick one of these two:

1. Weekly Shabbat
2. Daily Prayer

If mornings aren’t your thing, then try Mincha (afternoon) or Maariv (evening) prayers.  For Mincha, pick out a prayer from the prayerbook — or just take a moment and say the Sh’ma.   For Maariv, again — you can just say the Sh’ma, but there’s also a host of other great bedtime prayers to choose from, or you could go crazy and do the whole thing!  Needless to say, Ahava Rabbah: The OneShul Community Siddur 5772 has plenty of great options to help you along.

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Chapter 19: Parshat Ki Tetze

Chapter 20: Parshat Ki Tavo

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Check it out…

PunkTorah Podcast with Rivka (October 26, 2011)

This week’s trivia question: who was the first prophetess in the Torah? Winners will receive a .PDF version of the Google Docs Torah Commentary when it comes out (around Hanukkah). Email rivka@punktorah.org with your answer. You’ll also be put on the PunkTorah email list.

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It seems that the prayers we say should not just be for those who are ill, but their loved ones as well. Is that not the true Jewish value? What is community if we pray for one’s physical welfare while their loved one is emotional suffering by watching? We should pray for both. Aren’t we all affected when someone is ill, dies, suffers? G-d forbid we understand their pain, that we’ve felt it. However, being the sick or watching a loved one be sick, still is suffering.

I find it painstakingly hard to stand in shul and say the name of the person I know who is ill. I am terrified my voice will crack, might I cry, am I so worried that someone might judge me, that someone might ask who the person is and why I have mentioned them as opposed to others. On PunkTorah, people seem to offer sentiments so freely. Maybe I am committing an aveyrah or not being the community member I wish to be.

Upon further reflection, I have decided to add to my list of thoughts and blessings not only the ones who directly suffer, but all parties involved. We are supposed to value life. Like Israel has recently demonstrated with Gilad Shalit, when one suffers, we unify and suffer together.

May our stories of pain and suffrage end on the note Shalit’s did. May we all find our way into the comfort of someone’s arms we love and may those who are in need of healing have the speediest of recoveries. May we as a community, no matter the size, understand that pain is not a trivial feeling of shallow distain, but of genuine discomfort. And may our understanding prove to be commentary that we as a people are constantly in prayer for those in need.

Again, for all those on our prayer list and for some who aren’t, may you find the comfort that is needed to handle these moments, may there be healing and may there be hope.

Be True to the Streets,
Yentapunker

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Why a remix and not a cover? In a way Noah and Company does everything backwards, basically mixing it up instead of redoing what has already been done. Adam and Eve start out literally rooted in paradise, you know cut off from the rest of world just chilling with plants and animals. Noah and his family like the first family spend a portion of their lives in a controlled separate environment chalk full of animals and seeds. What is so interesting about this is Eden is a fixed point physically and spiritually while the Ark is a sanctuary at the mercy of a turbulent sea. For me the lesson is this, there are times when you will be grounded in life and times when you feel uprooted and not in control BUT Hashem is in both those places providing enough while you figure out what steps to take next.

As I read this week’s portion I initially saw a parallel between the fruit from the Tree of Good and Evil which provided knowledge, forbidden or not it gave something to humanity. After the flood fruit shows up again this time in the guise of wine which when drank in excess takes knowledge away. I think there is a lot we can learn by discussing this, but when I sat down to open that door I kept thinking about Eden being a rooted shelter and the Ark an uprooted shelter. Then I realized why this idea kept creeping into my mind. I’m an easily satisfied guy. I’m happy when I’m not worrying. Like many the current economic and social unrest is definitely making me a Noah and not an Adam. My Ark is knowing that no matter what happens I will always have a home, food, and family. My flood is I like only working 1 job and not 2, I like not being dependent financially on others I prefer being financially independent.

Remember if your battening down the hatches on your Ark Hashem is there with you, and eventually the waters will recede. Its okay to be Noah weathering the storm knowing its temporary and will end at any moment.

Let me know what you think. What came to your mind while you read Noah? Jeremiah@punktorah.org

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Click Here To Play

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Sunday, October 23 | 11:00 am | $10, Discounted $8
Washington DCJCC, 1529 16^th Street NW
Ticket includes light bagel brunch
Purchase tickets at washingtondcjcc.org/litfest or call (202) 777-3251
 
One of The Forward’s “fifty most influential Jewish leaders in America,” Jay Michaelson tackles the contentious “God vs. gay” divide. He argues that religious communities should favor gay rights because of religion, not in spite of it. As both a gay rights activist and religion scholar, he explores the moral principles that favor acceptance of GLBT people, contending that these values outweigh the ambiguous verses so often cited by conservatives.

Jay Michaelson is the author of three books and two hundred articles about the intersections of religion, sexuality, and law. His work has been featured in the New York Times and on NPR and CNN, and he holds a JD from Yale and an MA in religious studies from Hebrew University. In 2009, he was included on the “Forward 50” list of the fifty most influential Jewish leaders in America.

“Jay Michaelson charts a journey from rejection to full acceptance, from religious alienation to spiritually wholeness that will brings the reader closer to the Divine.” 
-Sharon Groves, PhD, Director, Human Rights Campaign – Faith & Religion Program

Partner: 16th Street J’s GLOE – Kurlander Program for GLBT Outreach & Engagement

Sponsored by PunkTorah.

Co-sponsors: Bet Mishpachah, Human Rights Campaign-Religion and Faith Programs, Nehirim, Punk Torah, Tikkun Magazine,Zeek: A Jewish Journal of Thought and Culture

Watch Jay Michaelson on YouTube

Hear Jay Michaelson on Interfaith Voices

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVoAC1asxk4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThvGu4TPk1U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRiGPs1eTsg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIeDK5zVDa0

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Fast forward, and I am at Chabad. The rabbi was nice. It’s Chabad…you kinda know what to expect.

Really, both guys did the same, good job, in their own unique ways. I have no criticism of either of them.

But today I realized something: if we were in a room and I asked a group of Jews to pick the guy they thought really knew his stuff as a spiritual leader, we’d pick our fine bearded friend the Chabad rabbi. Why? Because he’s a rabbi. Simple as that.

I was recently in a debate with a prominent rabbi about what it took to be a spiritual leader. I argued that the world doesn’t need more Torah scholars: what we need are social workers who can lead Kabbalat Shabbat. I told this great Jewish historian, who has written a billion books and is on the History Channel on a semi-regular basis, right to his face, “I don’t give a shiz what you know about ancient Israelite history and near east mythology. What I need from a rabbi is a warm hearted person who will comfort me when I am in pain and G-d isn’t there for me.”

That didn’t go over well.

But to be honest, it’s how I feel. Lay spiritual leaders are given the shaft when it comes to their contribution. Why? Who cares if you didn’t go to school for six years? Steve Jobs (of blessed memory) revolutionized the way we look at mobile technology and computing. I doubt we’d say, “oh what does he know, he’s a hippie vegetarian who dropped out of school!”

Listen, there are plenty of geniuses in the world…especially in the Jewish world. They are all fighting for tenure at lofty Jewish studies programs. They’re collecting unemployment as the pulpit jobs collapse. Heck, some of them are emailing PunkTorah looking for work. Meantime, guys like Mitch are carving out their own place in this world, because they have something important: the wicked combo of guts and heart.

So the next time you’re at a prayer service and someone without a diploma is helping you connect to G-d, ask yourself this question, “does HaShem care if they have a piece of paper and a mountain of school loan debt?”

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Click below to hear the noise.

PunkTorah Podcast 10/06/2011 – Yom Kippur Edition

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Love, PunkTorah.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiWYT8oSAiE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQ1OM10mhL8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pQsQfIwuok

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIw175kn494

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Here’s last year. And now, this year…

Losing My Temper

I get angry and I turn into such a whiney you-know-what. I tend to let the little things get to me. #Vidui

Two Hamburgers at the Airport

Flying frustrates me. Bumped from a flight to Chicago = Checkers Big Burford. Flight from ATL delayed = double burger from Wendys. #Vidui

Working on Shabbat

Spent one Saturday begging promoters to put me on a band’s national tour…later found out the tour did not exist. #Violate #Shabbat #Vidui

Forgetting to Lay Tefillin and Daven Daily

My addiction to social media is out of hand and prevents me from connecting to God the way I am supposed to. #vidui

Lashon Hara

At least once a week, I complain to our intern or a friend about some Jewish figure who is driving me insane. #vidui

I think the least of people when it turns out I should think the most. I assume the worst when I should hope for the best. #vidui

That doesn’t conclude my list, but it’s the best I can do for now. As is custom for Yom Kippur, I apologize to anyone that has been hurt by my words and/or actions.

So what are your #Sins? Confess on #Yom #Kippur

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I would like to tell you about a Jewish summer program that changed my life. The Brandeis Collegiate Institute, known affectionately to its alumni as BCI, is a 26-day program for young adults age 18-26. BCI gathers young Jews from around the world and brings them together to learn about their traditions, culture, and religion; to meet and bond with one another; and to explore their inner selves.

Every day in Beit Midrash, we study Jewish texts and discuss various aspects of Jewish life and culture. Guest speakers come from all over to speak to us, including artists, rabbis, professors, and others. Each of us is also placed in an arts workshop. This year the offerings were dance, music, creative writing, theater, 3-D visual art, and 2-D visual art. In arts workshop, we get to work with a skilled artist who helps us in creating, either individually or as a group, a unique work of art. We also participate in rotating community service projects (Avodah), such as working in the gardens and orchards, beautifying an outdoor prayer space, painting murals, making mosaics, and so on. We also sing, dance, eat and cook, hike, camp, swim, and just enjoy each other’

s company. In doing these activities together, we create friendships, and take joy in creating a true spiritual community, a kehillah kedosha, a sacred family. One of the most beautiful parts of BCI is the shabbatot that we spend together. BCI shabbatot are deeply spiritual and joyful.

I could tell you other things about BCI, but it would almost feel like giving away too many secrets. Suffice it to say that if any of this appeals to you at all, you should go! It is the experience of a lifetime! Applications will be accepted beginning in October. For more information, or to apply, go to bci.ajula.edu. If you have any particular questions that you want to ask me, as a BCI alum, feel free to email me at mybak12@gmail.com.

Posted by Miriam Bak.

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I believe that Judaism is what you make of it. Whoever you are, whatever you are truly about, is how you are going to understand the Divine. So the question is this: when you look at these texts, which would you rather do…love, or despise thy neighbor?

No converts to Judaism will be accepted in the era of the Messiah. Babylonian Talmud, tractate Yebamot, page 24B, (20th line on page)

The Holy Blessed One does not favor any one person over another, but receives all; the gates are always open, and anyone who wishes to enter may do so. Shʼmot Rabbah 19:4 

No converts to Judaism were accepted in the era of King David and King Solomon. Babylonian Talmud, tractate Yebamot, page 24B, (21st line on page)

Moreover concerning the stranger that is not of Thy people Israel…when he shall come and pray toward this house; hear Thou in heaven Thy dwelling-place, and do according to all that the stranger calleth to Thee for; that all the peoples of the earth may know Thy name (1 Kings 8:41-43)

Evil after evil will come upon those who accept converts. Babylonian Talmud, tractate Yebamot, page 109B (10th line on page)

God says to us, “As I welcomed Jethro the Midianite in the wilderness of Sinai, so must you welcome anyone who comes to you to join your people.” Yalkot Shimʼoni, Yitro, No. 268

Our Rabbis taught: Converts…delay the arrival of the messiah. Babylonian Talmud, tractate Niddah, page 13B (14th line on page)

Ruth the Moabite was an ancestress of King David (Ruth 4:13) whose direct descendent will be the Messiah.

The Golden Calf was built by converts. Midrash Tanchuma, Parshat Emor, chapter 11

The Israelites were struck dead with a plague for the Golden Calf that Aaron the Priest was responsible for. Exodus 32:35

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I have a hard time identifying what I look like within the community. Hair color seems to be a metaphor as I keep one foot out into the secular world. But like my roots show the truth, the dark curls provided by Has-em keep coming; I am unequivocally summed into a strong Jewish foundation, roots of generations.

There is no way of telling what 5772 has to offer. We will experience joy, pain, simcha, and loss. However, we must do these things as outward expressions of our faith. This year I became skin deep, but I am blessed with the opportunity to question why I chose to focus outward instead of inward. Vanity serves some purpose I suppose. What the purpose is, only time will tell. Like my roots that keep growing and the makeup that will wash away with the winter’s rain, I have to look at myself in the mirror. What looks back is 5771 years of genetics, faith, prayers, miracles, and potential. Chag Sameach! L’Shana Tova and may we all be inscribed in The Book of Life for another glorious year!

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In other words, it’s a job interview.

I don’t mind job interviews. They force me to evaluate what I know and what I’m comfortable sharing; it gives me a chance to really define what I bring to the table, and what I WANT to bring to the table.

Going on job interviews reminds me that I live in an American state with a policy of  at-will employment, which means any job can be terminated by the employer or employee at any time, with no reasons given or needed. The reality is slightly better than that: employees usually give 2 weeks notice, and most employers usually give reasons for job termination. But if you feel your job has some kind of guaranteed stability, it’s an illusion. Going on job interviews Keeps It Real for me in that respect.

The parallels to Rabbi Lam’s view of the Yamim Norim (Days of Awe) are striking.

The current year is coming to an end. I find myself in synagogue being asked (by the liturgy and my own heart, if not God) what it is that I plan to do with myself this coming year; on what merit should my contract be extended? No matter what achievements I may have garnered over the year (and in retrospect they don’t look so impressive), they only have a minor bearing on my negotiations. This is all about my commitment to, and suitability for a future goal.

The U’Netaneh Tokef prayer, which asks (in part) “who will live and who will die; who will die at his predestined time and who before his time; who by water and who by fire” reminds me that I live in a state of at-will “employment” – that my next breath is not a sure thing and idea that my future has some kind of guaranteed stability is an illusion.

Rather than give up hope, I see in this a chance to re-commit and re-dedicate myself to doing what’s right. To resolve to make true t’shuvah. As I mentioned earlier in the blogelul challenge, that doesn’t mean promising to stop being bad, but rather to return to my best self and be the person that the world – and I – need me to be.

During a job interview (the regular computer-world ones, not the one that starts on the first of Tishrei), I make a point of stating my feelings about the job. It’s amazing how many people never do that – they never say “I want this job” or even “I think I can do this job”. So I always take the time  (assuming that I want the job) to tell the interviewer:

“Not only do I think I can do this job, I think I can do a good job doing this job. And I want you to know that I want this job.”

During these Days of Awe, as I consider the year ahead and all the things God might ask of me, I don’t plan on being coy about my feelings or intentions. Sitting in prayer with nerves rubbed raw by liturgy that forces me to admit I am imperfect and flawed; edgy and agitated by long services and Hebrew that doesn’t fit easily in my mouth; cranky from lack of food ; and frustrated by an attention span which keeps wandering; In that condition I will be forced to admit that my soul is God’s for the taking.

But on that day I’m going to make sure that I state clearly that this job I’m being offered – the job of living in God’s world for another year – is a job I can do, that I will try with every fiber of my being to do a good job doing, and which I want very very much.

L’Shana Tova

(edited slightly from the original, which was posted on the Edible Torah here)

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Picking up the “awesome” theme from the other day. This morning I got up before dawn and stumbled over to one of the local synagogues to meet up with a few other bleary-eyed Sephardi guys to pray Selichot.

I’ve been doing this since Sunday (my first Selichot service ever – say a Shehechianu, everyone!) although we started at a more reasonable 7am on that day (as well as Monday since it was Labor Day). Yesterday and today, however, was the “real deal” – the groggy and froggy singing that I’ve heard people talking about for a few weeks.

My contribution, it turns out, was to bring “the awesome”, in the form of my two boys (11 and 8 yrs old).

No, they didn’t count toward the minyan, but believe me when I tell you they COUNTED.

Even though they were unfamiliar with the prayers and the tunes (hey, so was I!); even though they spent half the time watching the other guys instead of looking in the Siddur; even though they shuffled their chairs and tapped on the table and fidgeted their way through 45 minutes like any 2 boys would… Even so, their presence had a palpable impact on the group.

The guy blowing shofar blew louder and longer because he saw the wonder reflected in their eyes. During the “round-robin” readings where each person takes turns singing a verse in Hebrew, the men sang just a bit fancier as they watched the boys heads whip around to see how such a sweet voice could come from our wrinkled and stubbly faces.

It was like a Sephardi version of Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel, the story where Mike and MaryAnn could dig just a little bit better the more people watched them.

Before and after the service, several guys incredulously asked me “how did you get them to leave their bed and come?”.

“We get hot chocolate!” they announced, holding up their mugs.

It was a trick I had heard about last year while we were in Israel – synagogues making a community event out of Selichot, waking up together, serving pastries, tea (and yes, hot chocolate) so that rather than struggle through a month of obligation, people looked eagerly forward to (and then wistfully back at) the month of Elul.

In the original “awesome” post, Redefining Girlie asked:

There was a time when you were five years old,

and you woke up full of awesome.

[...]

Do you still have it?

The awesome.

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But the dvar for this week…yeah…we outsourced it!

Check out two clips from our friends at G-dCast for this week’s spiritual inspiration. L’Shana Tovah!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEOya0ZG0I0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jgNNB1rONw

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This is what the young rabbi said about us. Now, he was actually defending us. We had been criticized for being a secret Jews For Jesus conspiracy (which we aren’t) and this rabbi was trying to set the record straight. His critique of us was, “oh, well everything PunkTorah does is weird, or silly, and the leadership and volunteers have no idea what they are doing — but at least they aren’t Christians!”

I wasn’t sure whether to say thank you or not.

The issue of “who knows best” is an all too common one. I would argue that Jews suffer from Rebbe-itis…we have yet to discover that the internet is the best tool for Jewish learning. We still look to the person who went to JTS or RRC or HUC or Yeshivah Blah Blah Blah to tell us how to be Jewish. This stems originally, I believe, from the Temple period. Modern Jews today are still looking for the Levite Priest to offer us a kosher sacrifice.

But Parshat Nitzavim goes against this logic entirely.

For this commandment which I command you this day, is not concealed from you, nor is it far away. It is not in heaven, that you should say, “Who will go up to heaven for us and fetch it for us, to tell [it] to us, so that we can fulfill it?” Nor is it beyond the sea, that you should say, “Who will cross to the other side of the sea for us and fetch it for us, to tell [it] to us, so that we can fulfill it?” Rather, [this] thing is very close to you; it is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can fulfill it. (30:11-14)

Do we need rabbis? Yes. We need rabbis like we need auto mechanics. When my car needs an oil change, I could probably do it myself. Is there a chance I could screw it up? Probably. So I take it to the mechanic. But in reality, I’m smart enough to do it. I’m just being lazy.

Moses tells us not to be lazy with Torah, here. The commandments are close to us. They are in our hearts and mouths, not the hearts and mouths of someone else who knows better.

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Every twelve hours, you can vote for Patrick Aleph by clicking here.

Support independent Jewish community and spirituality by voting every day!

Also, click here to receive a Daily Reminder email so you won’t forget.

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We are so thrilled by the response we have already received about The G-d Project and look forward to you checking out the videos. This is an ongoing project, with new videos posting every single week.

What does this have to do with Parshat Ki Tavo?

Ki Tavo describes the relationship between G-d and giving. We are each to give one tenth of our first fruits as a sacrifice. The logic goes: we were slaves in Egypt, G-d rescued us, brought us to a new land, and now we give our first fruits as a way of saying thank you.

The G-d Project is a similar idea: each of us, no matter who we are, whatever kind of Jew we may be, can offer our souls to G-d. Remember, the giving of the first fruits was a public act. And while some of us do not have a garden we can sacrifice, we can sacrifice our time by making a video that will help others around the world connect with the divine.

So check out a few of our favorite videos below. And submit your own first fruits!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSW2ySJ5WPg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oW-UUChCMAs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGHWfdp616M

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No one thinks G-d is a guy on a throne

There are mixed ideas about G-d’s role in the world

There are loose definitions for terms like “secular” and “Reform”

Read more at The G-d Project Blog http://theg-dproject.org/category/blog

Like what you see? Check out our videos and submit your own video!

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Massei

Dvarim

V’etchanan

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This week’s Torah portion has more commandments than any other portion, including rules on how to fight, what to wear and how to farm. Different mitzvot cover different, practical parts of Jewish life. Some of them, like the laws of battle, don’t apply to some of us. And that’s OK. Because someone, somewhere, needs to know the right way to fight in a Jewish way. The Torah understands that. The great thing about Torah is that it is diverse. It covers a lot of ground. At different places in our life, we will need different things.

Limmud gets that as well. While some of us studied text, others were hiking. If Kabbalistic self-help isn’t your thing, then take the challah baking class. Perhaps you’d rather drink and dance to Israeli hip hop, or watch a Jewish-themed movie or lead a session on interfaith and conversion issues. Either way, at Limmud, there is something for everyone.

Torah gives us the opportunity, no matter where we are in life, to come home to the heart of the Jewish experience. And the staff and volunteers or Limmud are doing that exact same thing. Limmudfest therefore, is a living Torah value. Yasher koach to those who have brought this experience to the world and may it be God’s will that there be a Limmudfest in every town, on every weekend, forever and all time. Y’hi ratzon.

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My mother has chosen not to have a funeral. At least, not a traditional funeral, the kind held in a synagogue with eulogies and accolades. Instead, we will bury my uncle graveside. A pauper’s grave repeats maliciously in my brain.

“No one will come,” my mother tells me. “We’ll be lucky if we have eight for a minyan.”
I want to tell her that the angels don’

t speak Aramaic. I want to tell her our friends will arrive. But, none of that counts. Not right now. Not to my mother. My mother, who spent every day of the last six years visiting my uncle. And, not to my family who spent every day of the last sixty-some years caring for my uncle.

Who cries for the disabled when they die?

My uncle deserves the burial of a normal life: a life with family, friends, children and colleagues. But, a life of disability destroyed all of that. And now, my family will stand alone at the graveside of my uncle and mourn for a man that no one knew.

But afterward, we will return to our house for shiva. There, my family and I will gather and eat whitefish and lox. We will remember our uncle. We will cry about his death. And, we will laugh about his life.

You all should have been so lucky to know him…

Posted by Hollywood to Holy Land

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The fire started at 2:00am Saturday morning. The family, exhausted in every conceivable way, dragged themselves to synagogue not for pity or charity, but to “Bentsch Gomeil” – to bless God for the intervention which spared their lives.

As it turns out, my family had been invited to eat lunch that day 2 doors down from site of the fire – sharing our meal with several other people in the community. One woman at the table asked: “How are we supposed to make sense of something like this? Why would God cause/allow something like this to happen?”

My first reaction (which, to my wife’s immense relieve, I kept to myself) was to inwardly groan at the the boring, cliched, over-done discussion. Why do bad things happen to good people? Why doesn’t God DO something? (and of course the unavoidable piece de resistance) Why did God let the Holocaust happen?

I smiled and chewed my salad thoughtfully and said nothing. Because it wasn’t my place to respond and because I had nothing remotely interesting (let alone charitable) to say.

But silently, I answered her question with a question: Why do we keep asking that? Aren’t we ever going to get bored with it?

Later on, however, I realized mine was the exactly wrong response. I realized the real question ought to be:

Why aren’t we asking it MORE?

I woke up this morning. How could God allow such a thing to happen? Knowing what a completely jerk I can be sometimes? Knowing (as only God can) the things I’ve done? I have 4 healthy wonderful normal children. Why does that happen? What did my wife and I do to deserve that? For 3 years I drove almost an hour to work in crazy traffic, and made it to work safe each day. What kind of God allows that to happen? Week after week I, too, leave a burner on, along with candles and a hot water urn. Nothing has (yet, thank God and may we continue to be blessed) burst into flame. Why? Why, God, why? For what reason do my appliances continue to work so reliably?

If you are reading this, you might think you detect a note of sarcasm. Don’t make that inference. Read my words with a tone of sincerity, because that’s how I mean them.

Maybe – just maybe – we shouldn’t dust off our inquisitive nature only when tragedy strikes.

Perhaps we should be asking ourselves that woman’s lunchtime question each and every minute, trying with every fiber of our being to find the hidden reasons to God’s unguessable plan.

originally posted on The Edible Torah

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jG7PmMnXyc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ad70jLEsY1g

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=on_dqVWJBJI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNf44EBkKDI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lb-uT6jQCHU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ospdJhwsBz4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvsaeD19Bxk

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